Wednesday 28 October 2015

Love & Fear

The human race is where it's at today purely because of two emotions.

Love and fear.

Had the first forms of human life been fearless, they would've died out (along with the human race) because they wouldn't have been afraid to go discover something new. There would've been no bell going off in the back of their heads saying "Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this!"

Fear has been what's keeping the human species on its toes; always ready with a fight or flight instinct.

We have distinctly love to thanks to be here today because love is the reason as to why human are reproducing.

For billions of years, love and fear have fun the earth.

The reason as to why we do something that's scary is because the weight of their confidence and love for something is bigger than their fear of being on the ice.

Humans have stayed and have done something to remind themselves of home.

Humans are incredible at he best of times.

They're capable of trying something new because their love of fear is simply bigger and greater than their fear.

Deciding to try something new is not necessarily being brave, but it's knowing that you have emotions stronger than the emotion of fear that's making you do something new.



One More Girl, no longer online

Monday 26 October 2015

Become Infatuated

I want to start off this post by saying that I'm terribly sorry for being off-schedule with my posts recently. I do try to keep it to every Sunday and Wednesday as much as possible, but work and school have to come first and by the end of the day, I'm usually exhausted and don't have the energy to write. I'm starting to find a bit more of a balance, but bear with me at the moment!

I take any chance I get to appreciate and thank you all for reading my blog. It's an absolute shock to me that so many people take time to read about my life and to even leave comments and I'm just so honored that I can write blog content that you enjoy to read.

I love all of my readers so much, I really do. There's a few people in particular that comes to mind when I think of my blog because I know that they're reading and they leave the loveliest comments and I'm so grateful for that.

But as much as I love you all and turn to you guys first with any news that I have, I've been holding back a little bit with some news and I really want to share it with you.

I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, I might've build that up to be something that you're now wondering "Why would you tell us this? It doesn't affect our life in any way."

Yes, it might not have a single impact on your life, but I don't want to talk about being him necessarily, but the feeling of being with him.

That sentence probably sounded very odd to you, but bear with me once again.

This is my first boyfriend and I have to say that things are going great, he's great and it's just amazing.

We spend quite a bit of time together, not just in school but also outside of school. We've had a few movie marathons, a few library sessions for homework and coffeeshop studying.

The more time I spend with him, the more I become infatuated with him.

I don't want any of you to think "Of course you're becoming infatuated with him; you're dating him!"

This is the first person I've stumbled across in my life that I hate saying goodnight to.

Within both of my schools, I've seen friends so close that they text each other in the early hours of the morning, arrive to school and stick together, text each other when they're in different classes, stick together again and then text them on the way home and the cycle repeats itself. They can't see themselves being apart from the other, they're constantly communicating to fill in the void of not having the other there in person.

I've never had a person in my life like that until now.

I am telling you this today because you don't have to only be infatuated with a boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be anyone; an acquaintance, a friend, a best friend, absolutely anyone.

We've been dating for a little bit over a month now, things could honestly go in any direction for us, but that's what you always have to remember in life.

You never know what's going to be around the corner for you or the people in your life. If you find someone that you just want to spend all night talking to whether it's about jokes, 2am conversations that you'll barely remember the next day or conspiracy theories, seize the chance and do it.

It took me over a decade to find someone that I don't want to say goodnight to and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon. 

If you have someone in your life at the moment that you infatuated with, platonically or not, seize it. Don't find a reason to be staying up until 2am talking about why you think aliens exist, just do it.

As I mentioned before, you never know what life might have for you just around the corner. If you're afraid to become infatuated with someone because you don't know what the outcome will be, do it.

Of course you never know what will happen and things could change and they become bittersweet memories for you, but they'll return to happy memories because you'll remember how you loved those early hour conversations.

This might be something that you might not have needed to read because you already know this, but it's always good to be reminded to go for the things that you might be scared to do.

Get lost in the conversations, have time to yourselves, go for adventures, do whatever it is with someone that you're besotted with. 

I have no other reason to tell you why you should do that besides the fact that you're young.

We're all bound to make mistakes, we focus too much on school and finding/having a job that we forget to enjoy yourselves and get lost in a moment with someone else. 

I'm not necessarily recommending that you stay up until 2am texting someone that you're besotted with on a school night, but I am recommending that you do something with them that you don't do with anyone else.

Life is going to seem very short when we're all looking back on it; don't be afraid to spend it being smitten (once again platonically or not) with someone and creating memories that will make you both laugh and cringe.


One More Girl, no longer online

Friday 23 October 2015

Injuries

You guys might all know the story of how I was giving my grandmothers dog a bath, the dog got out all soaped up, shook and got the floor wet and soapy and after I got her back in the tub, I reached over a little too far and slipped into the tub.

Because of my slip into the bathtub, I have an injured thumb on my right hand.

I'm a right handed person.

I'm currently wearing a splint all day, except for when I go to sleep, that stabilizes my thumb and my wrist because doctors are worried that I broke/fractured a small bone that is found right below the thumb.

Because I'm wearing this brace, I can't really write with my right hand.

I've been able to get away with it for most classes, but I can't get away for it in math class.

I can't take many notes because I'm either 
a) writing them with my right hand until it starts to cramp up
b) using my left hand and going too slow because I'm trying to make it readable that I miss half of the examples on the board.

I've more so been taking picture of the notes that are on the board instead for trying to write them down.

Today, I had a math assessment, but my teacher wasn't there; we had a substitute.

I really didn't feel like explaining to her why I was the only one in the class to be looking at their phone while do one else is.

Because of this, I spent a whole 80 minute period struggling to write on my math sheet and do my work.

By the end of the class, I was still trying my best so she came over to see how things were going.

I was so frustrated with myself with my writing because I got myself confused. My 4's looked like 9's, my my 5's like S's, my 2's and my 7's and more, they all started to look the same.

The sub finally looked at my hands, but there was nothing that could've been done differently, it was too late.

In the end, we should never be ashamed to make healthy choices to help us heal, be able to do everything that we would normally do and to help you live a life where you don't feel as though you're an inconvenience.


One More Girl, no longer online



Sunday 18 October 2015

Balancing The Days

The most common example of balance in the world is Yin and Yang.

They say that there's the good in life, the bad in life, the bad in the good and the good in the bad; and that's said to be the balance of life.

I got a first hand experience this weekend of how the bad and the good will balance each other out.

I work both Saturday and Sunday mornings as a swim teacher.

Saturday was rather rough, but today was good.

First off, I can't catch little kids that jump in the water because of my thumb/wrist (I was giving my grandmother's dog a bath and I slipped intothe tub) and I was told that someone would be in the water with me at all times in case two of them jump at the same time (because that happens quite often), so I was feeling relieved about that.

Upon arriving to the pool on Saturday I realized that the only person that would be in the water with me would be a practice teacher.

I'm fine with that, but the practice teachers move around and I wasn't guaranteed someone there with me when I knew I needed them, so I borrowed one from someone else.

The practice teacher I stole from a coworker was a guy, probably had a head on me but he's sort of lanky and I thought it was going to be fine.

He came to the first class with me and one little girl started crying and refused to do anything.

I couldn't figure out what was wrong because she's usually really good and loves to swim, so I sent her over to her mom.

They came back over a bit later to the class and the mom explained that it was the practice teacher and she was afraid of him.

I managed to distract her and play games until the class ended, so that all worked out.

After that, I had my last class of the day.

I look forward to my last class, I have the two cutest little girls.

One is always smiling and ready to jump in while the other is really sweet, quiet and still nervous to go into water where she can't touch.

It's understandable at her age, but I don't think she'll be ready to let go of me in deeper water any time soon.

Halfway through the class, the little girl that's always happy to swim just lost it.

She didn't want to swim anymore, she was sobbing and her mom wouldn't take her out of the class and left her in the pool.

I still had another child to teach, so I called over a float teacher and got her to deal with the situation as I continued on with the class with the other girl.

That was my last class so I just left the pool and put it behind me.

It was a rough morning, it was the worst day of lessons yet.

I didn't know what to expect on today, but I was happy with the results.

My first class is a class with both the parent and the child, and I have 10 (parent and child duo) enrolled in the class.

Today, only 4 of them showed up.

It was the most bizarre thing, but I loved it. 

It was a lot quieter, I wasn't buzzing, I could watch what each kid was doing and not think "Oh no, did this kid already do it yet?"

It was so nice, I didn't do as many songs as I usually would, I didn't have to yell as much so it was nice and calm first class.

After that, I have a class where only one kid is enrolled in it, but she didn't show up so I got 20 minutes in the hot tub which was the nicest thing ever.

After that, I only had 3 more 45 minute classes.

I usually find them brutal, but I was able to fill the time up easily and we did fun things, so it was a really nice.

I left the pool feeling pretty good about today and today's lessons.

I feel as though I still have a lot to cover, but I still have at least five more weeks of lessons.

I wasn't as overwhelmed as I can be on Sunday mornings and it was nice to be able to take a breath and really think about what I'm doing and not worrying about the next thing, the next drill, the next song or the next game that we're doing.

I had a bad day at work on Saturday, but I had a great one today.

We always have good days and bad days no matter who we are in he work and what we do, but the days will always be there to balance each other out.


One More Girl, no longer online

Wednesday 14 October 2015

Don't Hold Back

As many of you know, I volunteer at a museum. 

More specifically, an immigration museum.

As a volunteer, I tell the volunteer coordinator when I can go in and she adds me on the schedule accordingly. So far I'm going in every Saturday afternoon until the end of November.

Seeing as this past Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving, she asked me if I could go in and said that she understood if I had family plans. I told her it was no problem and I would be there for the shift she put me for.

I walked in and it turns out that she forgot to add me to the schedule. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to make my mom drive back already to pick me up, I decided to stay and to just walk around, talk to our visitors and see if I could help them out with anything.

Because I made that decision. I met some wonderful people.

We have two exhibits at the museum and I met one group of people in an exhibit and they were looking for something in the opposite exhibit, so I told them that and said that I'd be more than happy to escort them over to what they were looking for.

They were pretty thankful for that and I led them over to the exhibit.

I ended up giving them a tiny tour of the exhibit and talking to them a lot about the stories of the immigrants from France, the story of the Deportation of the Acadians and a few other stories that I knew. I told them a few personal stories of my own and they said that they loved that I was sharing my stories with them because it enrichened their experience at the museum.

I was so honored to be able to meet and to talk to these people because they were just wonderful and the sweetest people.

Not too long after that, I ended up chatting with an elderly woman who immigrated to Canada from Scotland. 

She was telling me that for her, her brother and her sister in-law, the experience was long and awful. Her brother and sister in-law got so fed up that they decided to immigrate to New Zealand instead.

I was chatting with her about her whole immigration process and I asked if she had any regrets.

She told me that she packed her bags in Scotland at 18 years old and hasn't regretted it one little bit.

She then proceeded to ask me about myself. At first she thought I was a university student, but she was rather shocked when I told her that I'm still in high school.

She then asked me what I wanted to be when I'm older and I told what I want to be: a travel writer.

She told me that every time I get a paycheck, I should take 10% of it, put it away and never touch it so that I could retire at 55 and live comfortably. 

It was really good advice and I'm going to follow it. She also asked me where I wanted to go, so I told her my top destinations but that I was also hesitant to go.

She looked me in the eyes and gave me advice that I'll never forget.

She told me to go for it.

She told me to do what I want to do and that it's a good thing to be scared. 

She told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to immigrate to Canada or Israel, but she said that if she didn't like it in 5 years time, she could change her mind. But 30+ years later, her she is, still in Canada.

She packed her bags at 18 to find something better and I'm going to do the same.

I can't say that I'll immigrate to another country, let alone another continent when I'm 18, but I'm not going to let fear hold me back from going to new places and meeting new people.

Great minds must think alike because this lady and my amazing older cousin both gave me the same advice.

Don't hold back.

And I won't.


One More Girl, no longer online

Sunday 11 October 2015

A Perfect Balance And Pumpkin Races

My last post I mentioned how I'm going to not put too much on my plate, I'm not going to take any more extra shifts unless I was sure I could do it without missing something that's important to me such as something with friends that was planned in advance, homework or shifts/special events at the museum that I volunteer at.

Today I had my shift at the pool in the morning, but two weeks ago, I said that I could work a shift the same evening because I thought my schedule would be clear.

Turns out that I mixed up the dates and it interfered with plans that I made with my friends.

Knowing that I had plans with friends that afternoon, but also realizing that I took the shift, I told my co-worker of the original shift and we worked something out! I said that if we couldn't find someone else to take the shift, then I would cover it because it was my mistake and she was completely fine with that!

I ended up being able to find a sub for her the day before, so everything worked out perfectly.

Not too far from where I live, every Thanksgiving weekend, there's an event called the Pumpkin Races.

The Pumpkin Races are where people grow pumpkins that are over 1000 pounds and they paddle across a lake in the pumpkin that they grew.

It's a huge event that many people go to. A lot of it is a fundraiser for many things but there are also stands all over, for example one was a chili cooking contest, another to raise money for a school trip, another to raise money for a school playground and more, but then there were also concession stands and bouncy castles.

It's quite the event.

Either way, this is the first time my friends and I have gone to the event and we had a great time. 

Two of my friends joined me and one of the fundraisers there was a dunk tank. For five dollars, I could get six balls to throw, so I paid five dollars and we each threw two balls.

My first throw was a little off, but I nailed the second one! I hit it right on the target and dunked the girl! I felt bad because she must've been freezing, but she probably went and got changed after that.

I was really proud of myself, that was my first time doing something like that, so it was pretty exciting for me.

After that, we watched the races, drove home where one of my friends came to my house (the other had to go back home for Thanksgiving dinner) and we watched a movie.

I didn't have to go to the Pumpkin Races, I could've told my friends and they both would've understood seeing as they both have teaching jobs in skating, but I changed my schedule.

I rebalanced my plate so that it wasn't overflowing with work. 

I would've been at the pool all day, I would've worked so much that I would've been exhausted and cold for the majority of the day, but because I found another sub, I wasn't overwhelmed with my day, there was a perfect balance between work, friends and family.

You'll always have the chance to try and rebalance your schedule so that one thing doesn't outweigh the other. Sometimes you won't always have the chance to do this, but I'll always recommend that you try to because it will make you feel better throughout the day.


One More Girl, no longer online

Thursday 8 October 2015

Having Too Much On Your Plate

Yes, it is Thursday and not my usual Wednesday post, but here's my reason as to why my bi-weekly post is late:

I was tired.

I haven't had the greatest sleep pattern since school as started, I've been going to bed very late with headaches, waking up early with headaches and it's not the greatest cycle for me.

I spend the majority of my day with headaches and I shouldn't be.

With all of this going on, I also work all day Saturday and then Sunday morning.

By the time Sunday afternoon comes around, I'm tired and I don't want to do all that much.

My plate is already full. My weeks have been pretty eventful.

Yesterday, I was in class when I received an email notification.

I'm in a Facebook group for work, and every time someone posts, I get an email notification.

It was a co-worker of mine looking for a teaching substitute to cover his 4:15-8:15 shift.

Four hours is a long time to be working as a teacher. It's a long time in the pool and you're bound to get cold within the first hour and a half.

I didn't know whether or not I wanted cover his shift, but after talking with my mom, I decided to take the shift because I could get more experience, get as many favours as possible, and I do need to earn money.

I ended up really enjoying the shift. I did get very cold about halfway through, but I made it to the end.

My last class was suppose to end at 8:15, but it went over until 8:20-8:25. There's absolutely no problem with that, it's just that I was so tired.

I got home at maybe 9:15, had supper, lied on my bed with full intention of writing a post, but I kept drifting off to sleep.

When I took that extra shift, I thought that I was doing it for me, I thought that I was doing it to earn money to put towards a trip, but I realized that I was wrong.

I also took that shift because I didn't want my coworker to worry. I didn't ask why, but I didn't want him to worry the whole day over if he would get a substitute for the shift or not.

It's not my responsibility. We are a facility with 30+ employees, I'm not the only one who would've been able to take the shift, I was the first to offer.

I shouldn't feel stressed or anxious about my evening if I'm taking someone else's shift. I'm doing it because I can, but sometimes I do it because I think I have to.

It is not my responsibility to make sure that someone else's shift is cover when I'm not working. Of course I can take the shift if I don't have any homework and I'm feeling okay, but there are supervisors that could have also covered his shift.

I should feel stressed over someone else's shift, that's not what I signed up for.

I'm going to plan my day and make sure that I have everything under control before I take on any extra shifts.


One More Girl, no longer online

Sunday 4 October 2015

Reaching Out

Since the summer, my anxiety levels have been a roller coaster.

During the summer, I would have good days and bad days, but it always felt as though the bad days outnumbered the good.

I would be stressed over everything, I would kick myself for every little thing done wrong and I just felt as though I was letting everyone down the whole summer.

That's a lot on one person's shoulders.

The whole summer long I felt as though I was letting everyone down and I didn't talk to anyone about it.

I felt so alone for three months, but I couldn't ask someone for help.

I felt as though I couldn't ask someone for help because I didn't think other people would understand. I thought that they would compare my constant anxiety to stressing out over a test that you only became nervous for a few minutes before you receive the test.

I felt as though I was always on edge and that anything could set me off.

It went on for so long that it became a normal feeling to me.

That's not okay.

I didn't do much to change things, but I did start to talk to people more, I started to say how I truly felt from time to time and it felt pretty good.

I knew that I'm defiantly not the only person who deals with anxiety in the world, but I felt as though I was the only person in MY world, meaning my social groups.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Did you know that nowadays, about one person out of three deals with a mental illness of some sort?

That's insane, it's absolutely insane. One person out of every three? That could be your mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, best friend, teacher, classmate, it can be anyone and you don't know who because you can't always see a mental illness.

I went to the movies tonight with two of my good friends, and at one point, one of them left about two thirds into the movie.

I figured at first that he was just going to the washroom, but as time went on, I got more and more worried about him.

I hid my phone so I wouldn't disturb anyone else and then I sent him a text to see if everything was alright.

He kept telling me that everything was fine, but when I saw him after the movie ended, I knew something was wrong.

I'm not going to go into detail about the story because it's not mine to tell, but in the long run, my friend was outside getting some air.

He told me that he thought it was better out there than in the theatre and that's okay.

He needed fresh air, he needed time to himself and that's okay, my other friend and I understood completely! Of course we wanted to make sure that he was okay, but we also don't want to push anything.

He texted me after we all got home and we talked about it and how he'll always have my support.

I was so proud of him because he was talking about it to me, he was reaching out and trusting me.

That's exactly what he have to do more. We need to trust the people in our lives a little bit more, we need to open up if we ever feel too stressed or worried or anything else and we need to reach out.

If you ever need someone to reach out to and don't know who, I will always accept emails and help out whoever and however I can at the email address onemoregirlonlineadvice@gmail.com

I can promise you that someone will always be there, whether it's myself or someone within your social group, willing to reach out to you too.


One More Girl, no longer online