Technology

In our present day and age, we have access to some pretty amazing technology.

With all the cellphones, laptops, TVs, watches and tablets, we're surrounded by technology that is starting to do more and more for us.

For example, with the new Apple Watch, you can listen to music, read text messages and more all from a device that's supposed to show you the time.

All this technology is helping us advance in the human race, it helps us evolve, but it's also causing us to devolve as people.

I'll admit that in the past, I've chosen to listen to music with both my headphones in rather than to have a conversation with my family, hell I'll probably continue to do so.

I just didn't realize how bad things got until this evening.

Tonight I was going to have an actual sit down meal with my family because we don't have those often, so when my parents called down to my sister in the basement to come up and eat, she refused. She said that she had too much homework to do, yet I could hear the TV blaring.

It's normal for people to do other things while doing homework, but if we didn't have TVs, laptops or anything along those lines, what are the chances of our homework being done faster?

Anyway, my sister didn't come up to eat so it ended up just being my parents and I.

I was sitting on the backside of the table and my parents were sitting across from me. 

Where they were sitting, they could just turn their heads a little bit and see the TV that my dad left on.

No one said a word throughout dinner because my parents were both more interested in the movie playing on the TV rather than having a conversation which each other.

I've never been one to initiate conversations nor have I been known to maintain one in my family, but it's really noticeable when there's no one talking.

I can't say that technology is making us more antisocial because it's helped me make friends and keep the ones I have that live in different parts of the county and/or the world. It helps me keep in touch with my cousin who's in a different country.

Even though it keeps me close from the people far away from me, I feel like it's making me further away from the people that are close to me.

When you ask someone what their thoughts on technology are, you'll probably hear a wide range of answers.

You might hear people say that they absolutely love it, that wouldn't know how they'd live without it.

Others might say it's the worse thing that's happen to us because it's starting to take over every little thing that we do.

My point of view on, like I mentioned before, is that although it brings you closer to those farther away, it takes you farther away from those who are closer to you in person.

If I were to stop and think about it for a minute, I could've easily wrote all of this down in a journal rather than posting it on the Internet with the help of technology. I don't have an actual reason as to why, I guess I thought that this would help me reach out to other people around the world who feel the same way that I do. 

I thought I could make a difference.

I'm using technology for something that I could've easily done with pen and paper, but I thought that my blog could help someone else, so I decided to use technology to write. If I look at the reason as to why I'm using technology and the Internet, it seems like a reasonable answer. 

If someone were to ask me the question as to why have a blog instead of a diary or journal and I were to say "Because it's easier and there's spellcheck," that's when I would reevalute the reason as to why I started to write my blog in the first place.

If you realize you forgot your phone at home and your going out all day with friends who's phone you could use in emergencies, would you still want to go back and get your own phone?

How many of you sleep with your phone right next to you, either on the bed, the bedside table or the floor? Why do our priorities lie within the possibility of getting a text or a call at three in the morning rather than our sleep?

I guess the real question is are you able to disconnect when you want to, or do you get anxious when you go for a certain amount of time without any electronic device and can only concentrate on that? Is it almost like you have a fear of being without your device?


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My First Job Interview

There's always a first time for everything. First word, first steps, first birthday, first day of school, etc.

Everything has its beginning.

Tomorrow, I have my first job interview and I couldn't be anymore nervous for it.

In all honesty, it's not an interview for a job, it's an interview for a volunteering position, but because I'm bilingual there's a chance that I could be hired part-time after a little while of volunteering, so I'm considering this as if it's an interview for a job.

I'm applying to work at an immigration museum in my town, and I'm really excited about it.

I'm excited because I love history, I find it fascinating how if one little detail in the past happened differently, it could've completely changed the course of the present and the future. When working in an immigration museum, you're helping people learn about their ancestor, and there's nothing better than the look people get when they're able to learn about there family.

However, just because I'm excited for it and it's something that I'm passionate about, that doesn't mean that I'm not nervous for it.

Because it's something I'm excited and passionate about, I want this opportunity so bad and I don't want to mess it up.

I went to go see my school's guidance counsellor today to ask her about what type of questions they could ask, how to prepare myself, what I should know in advance, things like that.

It really did help me understand more about what could possibly happen during the interview and the process of it.

After that, I went to go talk to my social studies teacher because she's been to the museum many times and she told me more about the museum itself. Mainly about where the immigrants came from and what time period.

I feel as though I'm set for now. I know what I should read and study about before the interview, I feel as though I already have answers for a few questions, I'm proud for feeling confident about myself over this.

It hasn't happen yet, so the interview could go either way. I just really hope it goes well.

If anyone else is having their first interview for their first job or even an interview for a new job, don't be afraid to ask questions about the interview to friends and family before you go in. You don't have to prepare yourself for it on your own, you can always get help.


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A Few Thoughts On School

Since middle school started, it's never been my favourite thing.

Then again, I don't think that many students do enjoy school.

As I've expressed in my post School and Cameras, I find that some rules are unfair in the school system.

As far as rules go, I can't say I'm all that happy about them.

There's that whole dress code thing which is a little ridiculous because they're quite sexist. Boys can wear muscle tank tops, but as soon as girls wear them, shoulders are suddenly a major turn on for everyone.

And then there's the whole problem that companies don't make athletic shorts for girls that are an appropriate length, therefore I can't wear the only comfortable shorts I own.

Getting a little off track with what I wanted to mainly write this post about, but they're still my thoughts on things involving school.

Now what I wanted to talk about are the classes themselves.

Throughout the years, they teach you things which they build on the following years. I think that's great, that's a good way to go about things.

The thing that bugs me is that most teachers complain about having too much material to teach and they feel as though they're going to run out of time, but why do they have to teach the unreasonable things?

I'm going to specify on what's going on at my school at the moment, but this could apply to you in any subject.

Currently in gym class, we're doing dance and gymnastics.

Like I said before, school tend to teach you something in one year and build on it the following years.

The question I have is why am I still doing dance and gymnastics when I did it back in grade 3?

I understand that I don't have a choice as to what teachers have to teach, but I should have a choice in how I present things.

For my dance and gymnastics module, the last thing we have to do is perform a dance that's roughly a minute long that you and your partner created in front of the class.

Doing that is something I'm extremely uncomfortable with.

I have expressed that I'm really uncomfortable with this to my teacher before, but "because everyone else is doing it, so do I."

Has anyone else approached her with the same feeling about it? I don't know, but if a student is extremely uncomfortable doing something in front of the class, they should be aloud to do it some other way, whether it's in front of the teacher alone or you don't have the whole class intently staring at them while doing it.

If I were to roll my ankle or injure myself in any way in between now and the day that I have to dance in front of the class, then I get a free pass. I don't have to do the dance, nor will I have to make up for it later.

If I were to go up to my teacher and say that I'm extremely uncomfortable, I'll most likely be told that everyone gets nervous yet everyone else before me did it.

I'm sorry, but if something is causing my internal distress, there should be something done about it!

Teachers say that school should be a safe and fun learning environment. If I'm being put into a situation of internal distress, that should be taken into consideration. Something should be done to make the student more comfortable.

Just because I don't have any physical problem such as a broken bone doesn't mean that I'm not struggling on the inside.

With the way the world is going in this day and age, teachers should be trained on how to deal with these types of situations.

Your comfort level is not something to be tossed around with. If something is happen that you're really not comfortable with, try anything you can to find a solution.


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Time

Time is something that we can never seem to have the perfect amount of. We either tend to have too little of it or too much of it.

I can name a handful of different occasions when I didn't have enough time to finish things, and I can also name another handful of different occasions when I thought I was dying of boredom because I had too much time.

Time is something that humans have created in a way.

We have decided how long a second is, how long a minute is, how long an hour is, how long a day is and so on and so forth.

They decided that a year would be 365 days because that's how long it takes for the earth to do a full rotation around the sun, but they could've easily decided that a year is two or three full rotations around the sun.

If someone asked us how long a day is, we have the automatic answer of 24 hours.

If you think about different measurements in that way, then we have really given a definition to everything. We've created meters, temperature, etc.

However, something we haven't decided, for example are the seasons.

Yes, we gave them names, but we didn't give them their qualities. We didn't created snow, or rain, or the sun or how the leaves change.

We just happen to have given those seasons their names and rough estimate dates as to when they start and end.

Time is viewed as something precious, yet in reality, there's no scientific proof that time really does exist. It's believed to be more of an illusion.

It's viewed as a very complex topic in physics and there's no doubt among physicists that it exists, but they seem to be divided on what causes its existence.

We know that the sun rises and then the moon takes its turn, and we also know that the seasons change.

When the seasons change, we view that as times going by in months, but then again, months are also a measure of time that humans have created.

The seasons change in a continuous loop, just like how the sun and moon follow a continuous loop.

In the end, time is a weird thing that I don't think anyone has master yet.

I guess the question is are you using our idea of time wisely whether it's minutes, hours, days, months or years?


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Anxiety Attack And Amazing Teammates

Whenever I'm in a tight situation, I usually work myself up.

I can work myself up over the smallest details and make those small details seem like the biggest life changing events.

It's fair to say that I feel anxious a lot and sometimes, that feeling of anxiety gets to be too much.

Although panic attacks and anxiety attacks are quite similar, there are a few difference.

An anxiety attack is often the reaction of a stressor. It's like you're at the peak of a roller coaster ride, seeing the big drop ahead of you. With anxiety attacks, you may feel fearful or apprehensive. Your heart could start to race, you may feel short of breath, but anxiety attacks tend to be short lived. When the stressor, meaning if the event that is causing the stressor goes away or you yourself physically remove yourself from the situation, you can get the anxiety attack under control.

Panic attacks don't come in reaction with a stressor. They tend to be unprovoked and unpredictable. During one, the person could be seized with terror, fear or apprehensive. The person having the attack could feel as if they're going to die, lose control or have a heart attack. Symptoms of a panic attack are chest pains, shortness of breath, dizziness and nausea.

After explaining both of those, I can say that I've experienced both of them.

I was away at a softball tournament this weekend when I had an anxiety attack.

We were playing a game to go to the gold medal championship game and I was doing terrible.

The anxiety started at the start of the tournament. I didn't hit at all, so that made me start to panic a little bit. We were pretty tight on the score board, we were only ahead by three runs and I failed two of the most important plays I had the whole weekend.

I was playing first base and I missed the first ball for an easy out and I let one go by in the dirt. At one point, I had the ball and a girl was running to home, but I waited too long to throw the ball and she was safe. I was supposed to go to first base the next inning also, but my coach switched me out. I can't blame him, he just wanted the best for the team.

I, however, felt as if I let the whole team down.

I couldn't do anything right, how could they even say good job to the person who let the run in?

I sat on the bench and one girl noticed I was being hard on myself and looked upset, so she made sure I was okay.

At that point, I was still trying I choke everything down. She sat in the bench not too far from me, but I kept working myself up because I knew that I had to go bat and I didn't hit at all this tournament.

The girl who made sure I was okay looked over at me, and before I knew it, I snapped.

I felt a ball in my throat and my stomach. I felt as if I was going to be sick, I couldn't breath properly, my heart felt as if it was pounding in my chest.

The girl came over and just sat in front of me and told me to breath while patting my leg. There were two other girls sitting next to me, but they didn't say anything. They just also wanted to make sure I was okay.

The girl stayed with me until I was able to calm myself down and she was a big help. She told me that she knew what it was like, so whether the fact that she's experienced them herself or has a friend who has anxiety or panic attacks is unknown to me.

She had to go up to bat, so she asked the two other girls to watch over me in a nice way. They didn't ask why it happened, what caused it, they didn't asked anything about what just happened. They simply asked if I was okay it or if I needed anything.

Needless to say, I was slightly ashamed that my teammates saw that, I never wanted any of them to know that I experience anxiety attacks, but in the end they found out. They didn't care, they didn't mock me. They did what teammates do and they helped me and I couldn't be more grateful then that.

Once I got back on my feet, I walked to the other end of the dugout and one girl who must've saw what was happening also asked if I was alright. Once again, she didn't ask what happened, why it happened or what that was, but she only asked if I was doing alright.

I just want to say that just because that's my story, that doesn't mean that it's everyone else's.

If you know someone who's having an anxiety or panic attack, there's many ways to help, but it will all depend on the person.

• Some people won't mind if you touch them, but for others it might make the situation worse. Always ask them before you touch them in any way.

• Don't think about what you would like done in that situation, but focus on what the person having the attack needs.

• If they ask for some space, give it to them. It's absolutely nothing to be offended about. Some people deal with them on their own and have their own way of calming themselves down, but they might feel the need to be alone for it. If they ask you to leave, you can still keep an eye on them! Don't feel as if they don't want you around because that just not be what they need at the moment.

• Ask them before you bring someone else to the situation. I know myself that I hate attention on me, especially if it's when I have an attack, so if you want to bring someone else in to help them, always ask them. Say something like "Hey, is it okay if ______ comes over here?" If they can't talk, the person might nod or shake their head. If they don't give you a reply, it would probably be best to take it as a no.

The information I received for the differences between a panic and anxiety attack is from a health website, but the bullet points are from my own person experiences.

This was a little personal for me to write about, but I hope that at least one of you will be able to take something away from it.

To all those who have anxiety or experience panic attacks and don't want to leave a comment or feel as if you dot have anyone to talk to about this, you can always send me an email at onemoregirlonline@gmail.com and I'll be there for you.

In the end, my team went undefeated at the tournament and went home with the gold and I found out just how truly amazing my teammates are.


One More Girl, no longer online

Inappropriate Jokes And Being "Sensitive"

When you're in school, you hear a lot of things. You hear rumours, you hear lies, you hear gossip, but you also hear jokes.

Jokes are great because they can help you make it through a day. If it's a long day in particular, they can lift your spirits up a little bit. There's no harm in having a laugh!

There is a harm, however, in making inappropriate jokes.

Back when I was twelve years old, there was an incident that happened that left me emotionally traumatized. A few years later and I still have trouble talking about it without crying a little bit.

It was a really hard time for me and I feel as though I haven't gotten completely over it.

Fast forward a few years and I've come to accept the fact that it happened and I'm trying to move on from it, but that's definitely easier said then done.

How am I supposed to move on from that bad point in my life if people keep making jokes about it and laughing about it?

I don't talk about what happened at all, so people don't know that I suffer from it, but that doesn't mean they should joke about it anyway!

This is a little worse than I what I experienced, so please don't go off thinking the worse, but did you know that one in every four woman in North America will be sexually assaulted throughout their life?

Did you know that 60% of sexually abused/assaulted people are under the age of 17?

Did you know that 57% of aboriginal women (in Canada) have been sexually abused?

With statistics like those in only one single category, how can you feel good or accomplished about making jokes about rape?

If you're the person feeling offended by the joke, you're left with the choice of telling the people who told the joke to stop because jokes like that aren't funny, or you're left with the choice of sitting back, not saying anything by it while being bothered by the joke.

From personal experience, if you tell people that a joke like that isn't funny and it's wrong, then, from personal experience, you might hear the words "Oh my God, you're so lame," or "What a loser," or what I find to be the worst "God, you're so sensitive."

That's the worse for me because that's a complete lie.

I am not being too sensitive. I am being a person who is trying to avoid a bad time in my life. I am a person trying overcome a traumatizing experience. I am doing what any person would do in that situation and you're mocking me for that and making my emotional recover take longer.

This is an issue that has to be addressed.

I constantly hear people joking about rape, being gay, being assaulted/sexually assaulted, having a mental illness, being suicidal and more.

Jokes like that aren't funny. People are scarred for life from events like that.

Do you have any idea how many people struggle with coming out to their friends and family that they end up not doing it? People have to find their love for another person because they feel as though they won't be accepted by the people in their life.

It isn't fair.

Something that people have to start understanding is:

Rape jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Sexual assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Mental illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Physical illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Weight jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Self harm jokes aren't funny to everyone.
LGBT jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Race jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Religion jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Suicide jokes aren't funny to everyone.

Any category that are also often jokes about that I missed, I'm truly sorry and feel free to leave it in a comment to remind everyone else that something of that subject should not be joked about.

If you are aware that this is a problem yet you continue to make jokes about those subjects, you're part of the problem.

Then again, what do I know? I don't live your life, you might've been a victim of something traumatizing or part of a social group that's often jokes about, and maybe you joking about it is how you're comforted by it.

It's different for everyone, but you must remember that the people around you might've lived through something awful that you might not know about, and you telling jokes like that could be slowly killing them on the inside.

People go through different experiences in life whether they're good or bad.

Just because they haven't told you about it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened and it doesn't mean that they aren't still affected by it.


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Weekend Without Wisdom Teeth

I have to say that the surgery was a lot better than I thought it would be.

I went to the hospital clinic to get my wisdom teeth taken out at around 11:00am, but I felt the effects for the whole day. I spent all of Friday without being able to feel my bottom lip or chin.

The surgery itself went great.

I was terrified going in, but they gave me the IV and I was out of it. I don't actually remember what happened, so I don't know if I fell asleep or not. The only thing I can remember from it is that it felt like it took ten minutes (when in reality it lasted almost an hour) and the only thing I could feel was light scrapping. 

I do have videos and photos, but to keep this blog anonymous, I unfortunately can't post them. I might do it later on in the future, but for now they'll stay on my phone.

I was apparently quite the entertainment on the car ride home, though. My mom was having a good laugh while my dad tried to keep us on the road and to not swerve from laughing.

It wasn't all that pleasant for Saturday and Sunday, however.

I couldn't (still can't) open my mouth more than halfway because the stitches stop you from doing that, so I can only have liquids, jello, pudding, yogurt or Kraft Dinner. I haven't eaten a proper meal since Thursday, but you have to do what you have to do.

As a kid, you'd think that that would be the perfect meal, having food like that all the time, but as a teen, it's not. I can't wait to have chicken, salad and rice again.

I'm still really swollen. I honestly do look like a chipmunk at the moment, still. Apparently, the swelling gets worse during the 24-48 hours following the surgery, and my cheeks definitely swelled up on Saturday.

Currently, I'm dealing with two uneven cheeks, so my left is more swollen that my right.

It's not even something that I'm self conscious about. I think it's funny! I know I look different, but that's okay! It will go back to normal soon enough.

In the end, I'm a teen girl who looks like a chipmunk with nuts stored in one half of the mouth on a terrible eating plan, but I'm alive.

I made it through the surgery and realized that I had nothing to fear. The doctors knew what they were doing. It's me who has to learn how to trust professionals a little more.


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Going Under The Knife

It occurred to me this afternoon that I didn't write yesterday like I normally do and I'm sincerely sorry for that.

I'll be honest, I don't have a reasonable excuse as to why I didn't post, but the truth is that I was very busy and it simply slipped my mind.

I've been having one of those weeks where I feel as though I'm drowning in work and my thoughts when in reality, there wasn't all that much that went on. 

I guess that it was a heavier week for me on the mental side of things.

Whenever I get stressed out about work, I hit this point where I'm so stressed out that I can't even bring myself to do work anymore. I sit there doing nothing which wastes a lot of time, stressing out about everything that I have to do or what will be done and I no longer feel as though I have strength to function.

I didn't have much school work this week. I don't think that I had any, to be honest.

My mind has just been completely occupied with the thought that I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow.

I might've mentioned it before on here, I can't really remember, but I'm terrified for tomorrow.

I wrote this post over the afternoon/evening. I started writing at around 4:30 before I had to leave to go to my sports practice and I only got home at around 8:30. Before I actually got home, I stopped at the grocery store to get anything soft.

I'm stocked up on smoothies, pudding, jello and applesauce.

As the night went on, I knew that I was nervous, I had butterflies in my stomach. Now I feel as though there's a boxing fight happening in my stomach.

I know that people get their wisdom teeth out everyday, but this is my first surgery and I'm scared.

I don't know anyone else who got their wisdom teeth out, so I don't have anyone to talk to about this. 

All I can suggest for anyone read this who could be scared about something is to talk about it.

Talk about whatever you're scared about with a friend, parent, teacher or anyone you feel comfortable with. Not only will it help calm you down and break down the situation bit by bit, but you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.

Once again, I'm very sorry for my late post, but I hope you all understand!


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Messages In Different Formats

Over centuries, messages have been delivered in many different formats.

Messages can be expressed in the form of music, art, quotes, rallies/protest, letters, stories, facial expression, photos and poetry.

There's so many ways to get one message across...it's amazing if you think about it.

Personally, music is a big one for me because you can interpret the message from the lyrics and also the instrumental music. With some songs, it can be sad lyrics yet an upbeat tempo and I find that the message getting across is that someone can be feeling the most intense pain ever, but they always try to cover it up by being happy or not drawing attention to it.

With art, people love that because there's the artist intentions of the message and then the viewers interruption of the message.

It's the same for photos, really. Maybe my reason for taking the photo is different than what you think was my reason to.

Whenever getting a message across had to do with words on a page, so letters, quotes or stories, there's always the literal message and then the message you read in between the lines.

I've never been great a deciphering the messages in poetry. I know that there's always a second meaning to every poem, but I focus more on the one right in front of me.

When I hear or read the poem for the first time, I really do understand the literal meaning of the message, but it will take me a few times to understand the hidden message.

That's why I like direct poems.

I love poems where I don't have to figure out the message. I love poems that when I hear or read it once, I can't stop thinking about it, it's running through my mind for the rest of the day.

There's this one poem I heard awhile ago and ever since then, I've probably listened to it once each day.

The poem is called 21 by Patrick Roche.

It's the poem about how having an alcoholic family member has affected the different years of his life. More so, what he remembers what happened during different years of his life.

We hear stories about people being alcoholics and how families are negatively affected, yet we never quite understand to what extent the family members are affected in bad cases.

When I heard this poem for the first time, my stomach dropped.

I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.

I can't say that because I heard this poem, I know what his experience was like because in all reality, I don't. What I got out of the poem is what it's really like for them, how bad a relapse affects everyone.

When you read something yourself, you can picture it in your mind, but it's also easier to forget.

When you hear someone else read what they wrote or tell a story of their own experience, you can feel the emotions that they felt. They have passion and truth behind each word that they say. You can't forget their words, no matter what.

So to leave you guys, here's the video of the poem that I watched. If you've watched it already, let me know what you thought of it! If you've never watched it before, please take a minute to watch it, I promise that it's worth it.

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