Balancing Out Stress From Work

I know that I've been less than faithful with my posting schedule, but everything is a little hectic at the moment.

School work is picking up, I'm starting to have more homework to do and more things to memorize; and on top of that I have my job and report cards to write.

Many people are confused when I say that I have report cards to write, but I do them for the swimming lesson classes I teach.

For the term I'm working, there's a total of 10 weeks, therefore 10 classes. By around the 7th or 8th week, we start to write report cards for the kids in the classes, hand them in to the looked over for week 9 and then hand them out on week 10.

I thought that it would be a breeze, but I was very wrong.

I have many classes with little kids and I can't say that many of them are passing.

They all have the same main problem which is they can't float.

While writing report cards, I can't wright the same thing in them because of they're friends within classes and parents compare report cards, that doesn't reflect too well on myself.

There's only oh so many ways you can word "Remember to squeeze your bum and to look up at the ceiling to help you float!"

Personalizing every single report cards wasn't the issue, it was the phrasing.

However I have managed to get almost all of them done, I believe that I have completed around 65 report cards and only have 10 more.

I didn't realize that I taught so many kids.

As you could imaging, 65 report cards with 10 more to go, schoolwork and general life events have made it difficult for me to write.

My Sunday evening was spent at the dining room table, report cards and worksheets all around me.

I love blogging, it's something that I want to do seriously when I'm older, but at the moment other things such as work and school will have to come first.

Admittedly, I've been feeling stressed because of the report cards.

I honestly wondered if teaching and writing a total of 75 report cards was worth it when I could make sandwiches or pour coffee into a cup for the same amount of money.

Then I realized that it was.

It's such a great feeling when a kid gets something right after weeks of working on it and you can pass them to the next level.

Writing so many report cards is worst is because you get to know these kids over the span of 10 weeks and you get to know their personalities and some of them you grow to like.

One father asked if I would have his daughter next term and I honestly hope so because even though she didn't cover all of the skills, she was always smiling and having fun and that's what makes my job great.

There's always going to be a stressful factor whether it's report cards, the environment you work in, the location, the people, the coworkers; but if there's something to balance out that stress, then you know it's worth it.

One More Girl, no longer online

Motivation Wednesday

I've known for awhile now that my grandmother is coming into town and staying with us over the weekend.

Because of this visit, I made a schedule to clean my room.

Monday started with doing my laundry.

Tuesday continued with putting things away/straightening things out.

Wednesday ended with vacuuming, cleaning my desk and doing whatever else had to be done.

Because of my amazing procrastination skills, all of that was left for today.

My room wasn't awful to begin with, honestly it did need a clean though, but had I not have had the motivation of know that my grandmother is coming, I probably wouldn't have had bothered to clean my room.

My motivation wasn't the most practical reason to clean my room, I wasn't doing it for myself but for my grandmother, but it was motivation nonetheless.

Sometimes it's hard to find motivation for events, but it's always possible.

Can't find any motivation to do homework?

Think about the chance of getting all of the homework right.

Think about the chance of feeling confident when the test comes around.

Think about the chance of doing amazingly well on the test.

Think about the chance of that test bringing up your average.

Think about the chance of getting into your college/university of choice because you brought your average up.

It'a not always easy to find the motivation in the moment, but think about the motivation for the long run.

Dig deep and find a reason; find your motivation.

One More Girl, no longer online

Stopping Hate

Since Friday night I've kept up to date on the news whether that was reading articles, watching the news or listening to the radio, I can't stop hearing about what happened in Paris.

My first reaction was sadness. 

Who would do something like that? Why would someone want to do that? Why hurt so many innocent people?

But the more I thought about all of these questions, the more I realized something.

I wasn't in shock at the news.

I didn't stare at my TV screen with my mouth wide open and my eyes bulging out of my head. I just watched in silence, my heart aching for the people in Paris.

I was stunned once I realized that I wasn't shocked at all.

After the stun feeling wore off, I was disgusted.

Within a year, so many acts of terror have happened around the world.

Enough of them have happened for me to no longer feel shock! 

But then I went on Instagram.

Apparently there were also horrid events happening (or about to happen) in Mexico, Lebanon, Japan, Syria, Bagdad and Beirut. 

I didn't hear any of those stories on the radio or news and that was really upsetting. Honestly I'm still not 100% sure what happened in all of those places, just the main concepts of what was happening, but I'm going to find out all of the details as soon as I can.

For the time being, I only really know what happened within Paris.

Admittedly, I don't have the most up to date news on the terror in Paris (only from the 5 o'clock news this evening) and I don't want to jump the gun and start saying that it was a specific crime (hate, random, terrorist, psychotic, etc).

However, it hasn't stop and neither has any other from of hate in the world.

Terrorism is still happening.

Racism is still happening.

Sexism is still happening.

Homophobia is still happening.

War is still happening.

Hate is still happening.

The world isn't perfect; there's still so much hate in the world and it's sickening.

As human beings, he should be doing all that we can to end all of this hate.

The world is slowly moving towards that. Of course things have drastically improved within the last century, but we still have a journey ahead of us.

And something to remember; if you blame a group of people with a specific religion, with a specific race or a specific religion for acts of hate happening on earth, you are doing nothing to help stop hate in the world.

You're part of the problem.

My heart goes out to the citizens of Paris; I truly hope that you and your loved ones are safe.

One More Girl, no longer online

My Secret: Revealed

I owe you all an explanation.

I love you all more than anything and I think it's time to tell my story. 

It's time to tell you all why I started this blog and why I'm not always posting on Wednesdays like I promised that I would.

Although it's difficult for me to write this today this has been something that I've been wanting to write about for a really long time.

Since October last year, I've felt as though I'm two different people.

The first person being the one that everyone sees, the happy me usually laughing, smiling or telling a joke.

The other being my secret self that only I ever get to experience.

It's hard for me to write this; I've been staring at my computer screen for about three minutes even though I know perfectly well what I want to write.

Right, here it goes.

The day after my 15th birthday back in March, I was diagnosed with depression.

With where the world is at today, it might not be an uncommon thing to hear an you might know a few people with depression, but it's very hard for me to open up about this because this is a factor of my life that I've kept extremely private since being diagnosed.

There are many different types of depression, but when I went to go see my doctor I was not diagnosed with a specific one.

I knew that something wasn't right long before going to the doctor's, but it was only confirmed there.

Admittedly, I was ashamed.

I was upset with myself because I remembered all the movies from when I was little and the depressed person was always an outcast and always viewed in a negative way, so I kept quiet about it all. I didn't want to be viewed the same way those characters on TV were.

I don't want to say that I suffered because I know that other people in the world have worse situations than I do, but I don't know how else to describe it.

I went through my days with a smile that couldn't reach my eyes, I had a lack of motivation for school work and whenever I didn't want to go to a softball practice, it would always because I was "feeling sick". I was too ashamed to even admit my depression to my parents even though they knew.

The later part of the year has been better for me so far, but even then things can get difficult.

Teaching swimming lessons can be extremely difficult. I have to be happy and smiling for three hours, it's part of my job. Somedays I'll wake up and immediately know how difficult its going to be, but I just push through it.

Having depression can be like a constant roller coaster. You're enjoying the climb up, but the next second you can feel your stomach drop and you have the urge to scream.

I have good days where I'm barely affected by my depression, but I have harder days where getting out of bed is a challenge.

Yes, I can be tired on Wednesdays, but I can also have a lack of motivation and a lack of energy where I can't write a post.

Writing this tonight was very difficult and emotionally draining for me. I stopped a few times and had a few cries, but that's the truth behind this post. 

I want to share this with you all today because I understand.

I understand what it's like to feel like your life is not going anywhere.
I understand what it's like to have no motivation.
I understand what it's like to cry over a simply school project.
I understand what it's like to have depression.

Kevin Breel once said "When you tell people you break your arm, they come running forward to sign the cast. When you tell them you have depression, they turn around and run the other way."

And I felt as though I couldn't agree more.

I want to change that.

Just because I have depression doesn't mean I'm less of a person. 

Having depression doesn't mean that I'm not just as valuable as someone without depression.

It's time to stop tiptoeing around depression. It is a subject we need to address.

It's time to make a point of it and let people know that they aren't alone.

My secret is out and you can always email me at onemoregirlonlineadvice@gmail.com if you every want to get something off your chest in a non-judgement zone.

It's time to start talking about mental health because wherever in the world that you are; you are not alone.

My secret is out and honestly, it feels great. It's something that's been a secret of mine for ages, so I'm relieved to be able to get that off my chest.


One More Girl, no longer online

Long Term Time Management

I really do promise that I try my best to post every Sunday and Wednesday, but as we all know, it's been more like every Sunday and Thursday (In this case I didn't get around to posting on Wednesday or even Thursday at that).

It's not that I can't write in Wednesday's, it's that I'm too tired.

I was actually on the phone with my boyfriend Wednesday night, I had my headphones and mic set up so that I didn't have to hold the phone up and my laptop was in front of me, taunting me to write my usual Wednesday blog post, but I kept falling asleep.

I felt awful for my boyfriend; I believe it was mainly a one sided conversation because I kept falling asleep every five minutes and I would be out for 10 minutes at the time.

I apologized a few times, but I definitely felt like I should've apologized a lot more because I did feel just awful about it.

This will bring me into my topic of today (like I've written about a few times before but will be slightly different this time), time management.

I've written about time and the importance of managing it before, but those were for short term reasons.

You see, I picked up an extra shift at the pool to make more money.

When I thought about the consequences this would have on me, I only thought about a few weeks into the future, maybe two weeks.

I didn't think about how it would affect me on a six week period.

I didn't think to manage my time in the long run and this has already caused me to be overtired, cram a little bit with schoolwork and to generally not have 100% control over things.

This taught me the importance of managing time within a long term as I will definitely be doing things differently for my next work term.

When you have an abrupt change in your schedule and you know it's going to be for a long period of time, plan ahead that far, look into your schedule that far into the future so that you know you aren't overworking yourself.


One More Girl, no longer online

Extra Shifts

When I started working at the pool, I subbed for many people thinking I was getting favours in for myself.

Today I realized that I wasn't.

I've been sick for at least half the week with a bad cold and a cough that won't go away.

There's a Facebook group for my work and you can post in it whenever you need to communicate with everyone on staff (for example: lost item in the staff room, sub needed, etc.).

Late last night (Halloween night), I posted in the group that I would really appreciate a sub teacher for today because I'm still sick.

I knew my chances were slim of finding a sub because it's Halloween night and let's be honest, the majority of staff is of age and were all at parties and drinking.

I wasn't too concerned about the Facebook post though because I subbed for so many people that I thought that at least one person would be able to do it for me.

Not a single person could take it.

At first I thought how many late notice shifts I've took for other people and how I thought one of them would've covered this shift for me, but then I realized something.

They don't owe me anything.

Of course a few people have directly asked me to take their shift, but they were never forcing me to take their shift.

Whenever someone else posted in the Facebook chat and I would say that I'm available, I'm not the only one in the Facebook chat and I don't have to say yes to taking the shift.

I thought I was doing it to get favours for myself for later, but in all honesty, I would be a sub, I got paid the money and that was that.

There's nothing more to say to that because I'm getting paid for their schedule.

I'm not subbing for later favours, I do it for myself to get money.

There's nothing with wanting to make money, but you can't expect to make money and get the days off that you want.

I went in today and it wasn't the greatest time, but it had to be done.

No one would sub for me but I can't hold anyone against that because it's their choice.

They don't owe me anything for covering their shift and getting paid for their shift.

Don't swamp yourself with someone's else's shift because if it's an absolute emergency, then the supervisors will get even more involved.

If you want the money, go ahead and pick up an extra shift; but if not, don't feel the need to take it.


One More Girl, no longer online