Finding Happiness: Part One

In my post Endless Opportunities, I wrote about how the world holds many opportunities for you, you don't have to feel trapped in a box, and that you should do whatever it takes for you to be happy.

Yesterday, I took the first step on my journey to find my happiness.

I have been an athlete for awhile now. I have been a competitive swimmer for about eight or nine years and a softball player for easily about six years now. I love both sports, but for the past year and a half or so, I have been losing interest in swimming at a fast rate.

I kept pushing myself to finish the season last year, so I did and I was content with that but I wasn't over the moon or anything. When my mom asked me if I wanted to swim this season back in September, I wasn't all that sure, but I finally ended up saying yes to it because I figured that since it was a big part of my life for so long I become happier as the seasons and practices unfolded.

I was wrong.

Practices went on and I couldn't help but feel miserable. I love swimming, I always will, but I didn't feel good doing it, I no longer enjoyed it and I would be counting down the minutes until practice was over.

That was my sign.

I wasn't happy doing it, I had to change something.

Having six practices a week, training nine or so hours per week, I personally thought that that was too much time and dedication put into something that I was always dreading.

I was terrified to officially quit the team. Like I said, it was such a big part of my life and I wasn't sure what I would do with all that now free time on my hands. While I was writing the email to my coach explaining that I will no longer attend practices, I kept asking myself if it was the right thing to do. Deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do, I was just afraid to let go of that part of my life.

After having an internal war with myself, I sent the email and I felt...relieved.

Today, I woke up feeling great. I wasn't worrying over future swim meets and practices, but of what to I value more important in my life.

Writing and reading have always been things that I love to do, but with all the swimming hours, homework and other events in my life, I didn't always have the chance to do them.

Now, I can. I'm not feeling as if I won't have time to do everything I want to do in my day.

Letting go of something that lasted years in your life can be scary, terrifying even, but if it's something you feel forced to do and you don't love them any longer, it's worth it.

Well, it is to me.

I have my happy moments, don't get me wrong, but I can't say that I'm overwhelmed with this feeling of happiness.

It might take a while, but this is the first step in my journey to find happiness, and I hope that it can inspire one of you guys to go out and find yours.


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