Final Decision

As the majority of you may know, from the start of the summer to just recently, I've been debating whether or not my decision to switch schools was the right one or not.

I'm glad to tell you all that I think that I have my final decision on the matter.

I am happy that I did it.

Of course a piece of me will always miss my old school, all of my old friends are there, everything I ever knew is back at that school, but I'm happy with my new school.

I didn't think that I would make many friends, but I did. I have a handful of friends that I talk to every school day. I can't say that I have best friends right now, I'm not particularly very close with all of them, but I do have someone that I have hung out with for a week straight (and there's also this next school week to be added to that) and I find them easy to talk to.

School is still something that I don't specifically look forward to, but I feel as though there's something more for me there.

I felt fine at my old school, but now I feel...accepted. I feel as though there's something for me at that school that I didn't have before.

Of course I still find it terrifying to walk in the hallway at times, but that will probably stay until the rest of the year.

Something else that's really exciting is that I made my school's boys baseball team!

Well, I'm sort of on the team.

I am one of four AP players which means I'm an affiliate player. That means that I only play in exhibition games or if we have a secure spot in a tournament.

I'm happy with that because all the boys who tried out are high level baseball players.

I don't find myself wondering what if, of course I get nervous sometimes when I arrive at the fields for a practice or game, but there are three other people on the bench and then I take a breath and realize that everything is going to be okay.

During the summer, my older cousin was telling how it's a good thing to be nervous sometimes and back then, I was wondering "How? How can it possibly be a good thing?" But now I understand. 

Being nervous isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human.

I still have many things to learn about the school and the people in it, but I think it's going to be a good year.

Everything is falling into place for me at the moment. I start working as a swim teacher this Saturday, I'm volunteering at the museum, I'm a peer tutor during some of my lunch breaks and helping other students learn french, I don't feel too stressed (yet) with my homework and I have people to turn to when I need to talk to someone.

I don't know what it is, if it's the things I listed above or not, but something feels right at the moment and I really hope that that feeling doesn't change.


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