Choices

Awhile back ago I had course selection at my school, but now I'm wondering if I should still attend the same school.

Where I live, we have two school boards: the English one and the French one.

I'm currently a student under the French school board, which means that all my classes (besides my English class) are in French. If I graduate from that school, I graduate with two first languages, French and English, and I get a bilingual diploma.

I am insanely proud that I see both languages as first languages. I am so proud of my French background that I want my own kids to also learn it. I hear a lot of adults say that one of their biggest regrets in life was not learning a second language, but here I am, a teen thats fluent in both. 

I'm really lucky to be born into the family I was.

Now my main concern with the French school board is that we're only about 450 students through the grades of 7-12 while at the local English high school they're over 900 students with only 10-12 grade levels. 

If I stay at my French school, I'm not guarantee that classes that I want to take because it all depends on numbers.

I honestly don't have much to hold me back there. In reality, I only have two friends who I see outside of school often, so that wouldn't be a problem. I don't plan on going to a French university, so I guess it's not all that necessary to have both languages as first languages on my diploma.

I'm really considering switching schools, but I have to admit that I'm terrified.

I'm scared of the possibility of losing my French, but I'm a French family. Surely I'll speak it at home. I'm also scared of not knowing anyone there. This one is ridiculous because a few girls on my softball team go there and a lot of the swimmers that I used to swim with also go there.

If I do go to the English school, I can take this test which I believe is called the Delphi test and depending on if you pass it, you receive a certificate or something along those lines saying that you are in fact bilingual. It's not the same as graduating from the French school though because it's not also considered your first language; it's your second.

If I end up not liking the English school, I can always go back to the French one!

There is literally nothing preventing me from going to this school, yet I still scared and I'm not all that sure as to why.

This isn't like going to a new school in a new province or country, but I still have the chance to start over a little bit. Of course people will know me there, but I can change all of my classroom habits.

My worry is all physiological and I know that. I just can't help but feel as though whatever choice I make will be the wrong one.

However, I think I do know why I'm scared.

I have the fear of letting a diploma tell me who I am.

I know that I'm bilingual, I know that both French and English are my first languages. But for some reason, I feel as if that won't be true unless I have it on a diploma.

I have a lot of time to make up my mind on the whole school situation thing for next year, that's not my main concern.

I'm really going to have to focus on me and keeping my values. I have to decide what's more important to me: Graduating with two first languages at a school that doesn't offer all the classes I want to take or going to a school where I can get the classes I want and somewhat having to start all over again.

I know I can keep my French no matter what I decide to do. I just want to make the right choice.


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School And Cameras

I've never been one for being in pictures. I would always try and find a way around it, such as stalling for as long as possible, volunteering to take the picture, anything to avoid being in the picture itself.

I love taking pictures, though. As cheesy as it is, I love the idea of a story, a moment or a memory being captured in a single frame for the rest of eternity. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. It's an amazing thing.

Something that I don't think should be allowed is that teachers at schools have the right to decide to put the "No taking pictures at all" rule aside and make us, the students, film ourselves on iPads to record something for the class even though we clearly don't want to be.

Earlier on during the school year, my math teacher wanted us to film ourselves, and whoever else was in our group, reviewing a subject that we learnt and solving a problem that we made up on our own, related to that problem. She also stated that EVERYONE had to be in the video so that everyone could get marked fairly on it, even if you only see a person for a few seconds. Although she didn't say it,she implied that if you didn't talk in the video, you would lose points,

What happened to the no filming/picture rule? Why can teachers defy it? How did other people like me feel, being forced to partake in a video they don't want anything to do with?

I was lucky enough to have a doctors appointment at the exact date and time that I was supposed to be filming this video in math class, so I was able to avoid it.

Although I knew I could manage to avoid it, the idea still of having to do it still bothered me.

Another thing that my school does, it could be described as an end of the year banquet, where some students are recognized for academic achievements or their impact on a sports team.

For that event, the school wants pictures of every student to put in a PowerPoint slideshow, and I remember that last year, there was a teacher in the doorway that would stop the students that they didn't have pictures of. You had to go through that doorway, because it was the only one that lead to the locker area and all the classrooms. She kept stoping students to get a picture, and yes, I was one of them.

I simply refused to have my picture taken and I walked away to no longer be in the camera shot.

This year, they started doing it sooner, so during the math class before we started to film (the one the day before), my math teacher was going around and taking pictures of all the groups.

Once again, I really didn't want to be in a picture, so I got up and moved to the side wile she took the picture.

Because of that, I got called a buzzkill and boring by a guy that was in my group, and my teacher agreed.

At what point are you allowed to say that to a student who's uncomfortable with you taking a picture of them?

Why do teachers get to break this rule and not respect the decisions and privacy of a student?

It makes them hypocritical.


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