Give And Take

Although my current boyfriend is the only one I've ever had, he's the best one I've ever had.

He makes me laugh, comforts me when I'm said or upset, takes care of me when I don't feel well, talks me down from potential anxiety/panic attacks and he's bought me chocolate just because.

It's amazing to have him in my life and he does a lot for me. For example, when I'm in one of my low moods or generally not feeling well, he'll come over and watch Disney movies with me.

This is a guy who grew up with an older brother and never got into the whole Disney scene and never watched the princess movies.

This is a guy who loves horror movies yet knows how scared and jumpy I get from them so he'll settle for a Disney movie with me.

I'm sure we've gone through almost, if not all, of the Disney princesses movies and he hasn't complained once about. I'm sure he's joked about it, but he never seemed to mind watching the movies with me.  

Now I've never been one to watch sports. I think it's definitely something to go see live if you have the chance, but it's just not the same through the TV in my opinion.

My boyfriend loves to watch sports, he's a hockey player and follows the National Hockey League (NHL) as if it's his religion. Hockey is his main sport, yet he'll watch any sport.

As many know, Sunday was the SuperBowl. 

I've never watched football in my life yet we made plans to watch it together.

I've never watched football nor do I understand the sport all that much, my guy still wanted to watch the game with me.

I wish I could say that I tried my best to follow along, but honestly whenever the whistle blew for fouls, I was already asking about 20 different questions.

He had no knowledge of Disney movies and I had no knowledge of football games.

When you're with someone special to you either it's a partner in a relationship, a friend or a family member, you should always take the time to watch something they like and learn about that person.

Even though you find that whatever your friend wants to watch is absolutely boring, stick it out because that's what every relationship is about: Give and Take.

He took time to watch Disney movies with me so I'll make sure to watch the Stanley cup playoffs with him.

In my blog posts, I try to avoid writing about personal relationships simply because you never knew what could be coming down the road, however I thought that my relationship would be a really good example for this and the topic of give and take.

We might not have the same taste in movies, but that's okay because we can either compromise on the spot or one of use will give the other the choice. 

Admittedly we have a lot of "You pick." "No, you pick," moments, but in the end it doesn't matter what we do because we just want to spend time together in the end.

Try something new for someone special in your life because it's all about finding that happy middle ground where everyone gets a chance for something they like.

One More Girl, no longer online

My First Exams and What I Learnt From Them

Well it's been quite a time since I last wrote.

The last time I posted was a few days before my exams started and I expressed how I wasn't feeling too stressed about things and that I was feeling pretty good.

Things didn't go the way I thought they would.

My Sunday before exams was planned out: go to work, tutor a student in my French class for our exam and then study math for myself.

My work shift is just 9am-12pm Sunday mornings, however I got myself into a bit of a jam because I took an extra shift right after.

They were desperate for someone else to work, so I step up because frankly, I need the money.

It wasn't too bad, but I ended up working 9am-5pm.

That set everything back at least three hours.

I only met my friend to help him study French at around 5:30 and we both had to leave at 7:15. 

I did as much as I could to help him prepare and taught him how to answer the question with the words already placed in the question.

I found out today once I walked past him in the hallway that he passed the exam which is great! He struggled with a failing grade for the majority of the semester, however he was able to bring it up in the end!

After I got home, I studied for math and then went to bed for a good night's rest before exams.

I woke up the day of my first exam feeling immensely sick.

The stomach flu had been going around just a few days before and I was convinced that I got sick myself.

There's not much you can do, you can't miss an exam unless a family member has passed away or that you're hospitalized. 

I went to school on Monday and wrote my first two exams, English then French, and felt progressively better throughout the day.

I thought I was getting better and went to bed early that night to be refreshed for my morning math exam on Tuesday.

I woke up and the stomach pains hit me harder than ever.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink, I had a headache and my mind was set that I had the flu.

Once again, nothing I could've done so I went to school.

I used my whole two hours to work on my math exam and when I walked out of the exam room, all of my symptoms disappeared.

There's nothing else it could've been except for anxiety. If that's the case, I've never had anxiety at a constant level that high before.

It was crazy to realize that it was anxiety, but then I figured that I must've been so stressed about my exams that I kept my mind busy with anything and everything, like taking an extra shift and focusing on tutoring someone else, to keep my thoughts from drifting to my exams.

Im so glad I have them over with and that I've started my second semester, however I learnt an important lesson.

In a few years from now, possibly even one year from now, those marks won't matter.

Your exam marks don't define you as a person. They don't test your knowledge in a skill rather than your memorization skill. It's completely unfair to tell students that they all learn in unique ways yet have a standardized test to challenge what we can remember, however there's nothing that we can do about that yet.

Anyway, your exam results are a number, a fraction or a percentage that you won't be able to remember in two years time. 

Those digits will not define you as a person or limit you to what you can do in your life.

If anyone else had exams I hope you did well and if you have any coming up, I wish you the best of luck.

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Motivation Wednesday

I've known for awhile now that my grandmother is coming into town and staying with us over the weekend.

Because of this visit, I made a schedule to clean my room.

Monday started with doing my laundry.

Tuesday continued with putting things away/straightening things out.

Wednesday ended with vacuuming, cleaning my desk and doing whatever else had to be done.

Because of my amazing procrastination skills, all of that was left for today.

My room wasn't awful to begin with, honestly it did need a clean though, but had I not have had the motivation of know that my grandmother is coming, I probably wouldn't have had bothered to clean my room.

My motivation wasn't the most practical reason to clean my room, I wasn't doing it for myself but for my grandmother, but it was motivation nonetheless.

Sometimes it's hard to find motivation for events, but it's always possible.

Can't find any motivation to do homework?

Think about the chance of getting all of the homework right.

Think about the chance of feeling confident when the test comes around.

Think about the chance of doing amazingly well on the test.

Think about the chance of that test bringing up your average.

Think about the chance of getting into your college/university of choice because you brought your average up.

It'a not always easy to find the motivation in the moment, but think about the motivation for the long run.

Dig deep and find a reason; find your motivation.

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My Secret: Revealed

I owe you all an explanation.

I love you all more than anything and I think it's time to tell my story. 

It's time to tell you all why I started this blog and why I'm not always posting on Wednesdays like I promised that I would.

Although it's difficult for me to write this today this has been something that I've been wanting to write about for a really long time.

Since October last year, I've felt as though I'm two different people.

The first person being the one that everyone sees, the happy me usually laughing, smiling or telling a joke.

The other being my secret self that only I ever get to experience.

It's hard for me to write this; I've been staring at my computer screen for about three minutes even though I know perfectly well what I want to write.

Right, here it goes.

The day after my 15th birthday back in March, I was diagnosed with depression.

With where the world is at today, it might not be an uncommon thing to hear an you might know a few people with depression, but it's very hard for me to open up about this because this is a factor of my life that I've kept extremely private since being diagnosed.

There are many different types of depression, but when I went to go see my doctor I was not diagnosed with a specific one.

I knew that something wasn't right long before going to the doctor's, but it was only confirmed there.

Admittedly, I was ashamed.

I was upset with myself because I remembered all the movies from when I was little and the depressed person was always an outcast and always viewed in a negative way, so I kept quiet about it all. I didn't want to be viewed the same way those characters on TV were.

I don't want to say that I suffered because I know that other people in the world have worse situations than I do, but I don't know how else to describe it.

I went through my days with a smile that couldn't reach my eyes, I had a lack of motivation for school work and whenever I didn't want to go to a softball practice, it would always because I was "feeling sick". I was too ashamed to even admit my depression to my parents even though they knew.

The later part of the year has been better for me so far, but even then things can get difficult.

Teaching swimming lessons can be extremely difficult. I have to be happy and smiling for three hours, it's part of my job. Somedays I'll wake up and immediately know how difficult its going to be, but I just push through it.

Having depression can be like a constant roller coaster. You're enjoying the climb up, but the next second you can feel your stomach drop and you have the urge to scream.

I have good days where I'm barely affected by my depression, but I have harder days where getting out of bed is a challenge.

Yes, I can be tired on Wednesdays, but I can also have a lack of motivation and a lack of energy where I can't write a post.

Writing this tonight was very difficult and emotionally draining for me. I stopped a few times and had a few cries, but that's the truth behind this post. 

I want to share this with you all today because I understand.

I understand what it's like to feel like your life is not going anywhere.
I understand what it's like to have no motivation.
I understand what it's like to cry over a simply school project.
I understand what it's like to have depression.

Kevin Breel once said "When you tell people you break your arm, they come running forward to sign the cast. When you tell them you have depression, they turn around and run the other way."

And I felt as though I couldn't agree more.

I want to change that.

Just because I have depression doesn't mean I'm less of a person. 

Having depression doesn't mean that I'm not just as valuable as someone without depression.

It's time to stop tiptoeing around depression. It is a subject we need to address.

It's time to make a point of it and let people know that they aren't alone.

My secret is out and you can always email me at onemoregirlonlineadvice@gmail.com if you every want to get something off your chest in a non-judgement zone.

It's time to start talking about mental health because wherever in the world that you are; you are not alone.

My secret is out and honestly, it feels great. It's something that's been a secret of mine for ages, so I'm relieved to be able to get that off my chest.


One More Girl, no longer online

Long Term Time Management

I really do promise that I try my best to post every Sunday and Wednesday, but as we all know, it's been more like every Sunday and Thursday (In this case I didn't get around to posting on Wednesday or even Thursday at that).

It's not that I can't write in Wednesday's, it's that I'm too tired.

I was actually on the phone with my boyfriend Wednesday night, I had my headphones and mic set up so that I didn't have to hold the phone up and my laptop was in front of me, taunting me to write my usual Wednesday blog post, but I kept falling asleep.

I felt awful for my boyfriend; I believe it was mainly a one sided conversation because I kept falling asleep every five minutes and I would be out for 10 minutes at the time.

I apologized a few times, but I definitely felt like I should've apologized a lot more because I did feel just awful about it.

This will bring me into my topic of today (like I've written about a few times before but will be slightly different this time), time management.

I've written about time and the importance of managing it before, but those were for short term reasons.

You see, I picked up an extra shift at the pool to make more money.

When I thought about the consequences this would have on me, I only thought about a few weeks into the future, maybe two weeks.

I didn't think about how it would affect me on a six week period.

I didn't think to manage my time in the long run and this has already caused me to be overtired, cram a little bit with schoolwork and to generally not have 100% control over things.

This taught me the importance of managing time within a long term as I will definitely be doing things differently for my next work term.

When you have an abrupt change in your schedule and you know it's going to be for a long period of time, plan ahead that far, look into your schedule that far into the future so that you know you aren't overworking yourself.


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Extra Shifts

When I started working at the pool, I subbed for many people thinking I was getting favours in for myself.

Today I realized that I wasn't.

I've been sick for at least half the week with a bad cold and a cough that won't go away.

There's a Facebook group for my work and you can post in it whenever you need to communicate with everyone on staff (for example: lost item in the staff room, sub needed, etc.).

Late last night (Halloween night), I posted in the group that I would really appreciate a sub teacher for today because I'm still sick.

I knew my chances were slim of finding a sub because it's Halloween night and let's be honest, the majority of staff is of age and were all at parties and drinking.

I wasn't too concerned about the Facebook post though because I subbed for so many people that I thought that at least one person would be able to do it for me.

Not a single person could take it.

At first I thought how many late notice shifts I've took for other people and how I thought one of them would've covered this shift for me, but then I realized something.

They don't owe me anything.

Of course a few people have directly asked me to take their shift, but they were never forcing me to take their shift.

Whenever someone else posted in the Facebook chat and I would say that I'm available, I'm not the only one in the Facebook chat and I don't have to say yes to taking the shift.

I thought I was doing it to get favours for myself for later, but in all honesty, I would be a sub, I got paid the money and that was that.

There's nothing more to say to that because I'm getting paid for their schedule.

I'm not subbing for later favours, I do it for myself to get money.

There's nothing with wanting to make money, but you can't expect to make money and get the days off that you want.

I went in today and it wasn't the greatest time, but it had to be done.

No one would sub for me but I can't hold anyone against that because it's their choice.

They don't owe me anything for covering their shift and getting paid for their shift.

Don't swamp yourself with someone's else's shift because if it's an absolute emergency, then the supervisors will get even more involved.

If you want the money, go ahead and pick up an extra shift; but if not, don't feel the need to take it.


One More Girl, no longer online

Love & Fear

The human race is where it's at today purely because of two emotions.

Love and fear.

Had the first forms of human life been fearless, they would've died out (along with the human race) because they wouldn't have been afraid to go discover something new. There would've been no bell going off in the back of their heads saying "Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this!"

Fear has been what's keeping the human species on its toes; always ready with a fight or flight instinct.

We have distinctly love to thanks to be here today because love is the reason as to why human are reproducing.

For billions of years, love and fear have fun the earth.

The reason as to why we do something that's scary is because the weight of their confidence and love for something is bigger than their fear of being on the ice.

Humans have stayed and have done something to remind themselves of home.

Humans are incredible at he best of times.

They're capable of trying something new because their love of fear is simply bigger and greater than their fear.

Deciding to try something new is not necessarily being brave, but it's knowing that you have emotions stronger than the emotion of fear that's making you do something new.


One More Girl, no longer online

Become Infatuated

I want to start off this post by saying that I'm terribly sorry for being off-schedule with my posts recently. I do try to keep it to every Sunday and Wednesday as much as possible, but work and school have to come first and by the end of the day, I'm usually exhausted and don't have the energy to write. I'm starting to find a bit more of a balance, but bear with me at the moment!

I take any chance I get to appreciate and thank you all for reading my blog. It's an absolute shock to me that so many people take time to read about my life and to even leave comments and I'm just so honored that I can write blog content that you enjoy to read.

I love all of my readers so much, I really do. There's a few people in particular that comes to mind when I think of my blog because I know that they're reading and they leave the loveliest comments and I'm so grateful for that.

But as much as I love you all and turn to you guys first with any news that I have, I've been holding back a little bit with some news and I really want to share it with you.

I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, I might've build that up to be something that you're now wondering "Why would you tell us this? It doesn't affect our life in any way."

Yes, it might not have a single impact on your life, but I don't want to talk about being him necessarily, but the feeling of being with him.

That sentence probably sounded very odd to you, but bear with me once again.

This is my first boyfriend and I have to say that things are going great, he's great and it's just amazing.

We spend quite a bit of time together, not just in school but also outside of school. We've had a few movie marathons, a few library sessions for homework and coffeeshop studying.

The more time I spend with him, the more I become infatuated with him.

I don't want any of you to think "Of course you're becoming infatuated with him; you're dating him!"

This is the first person I've stumbled across in my life that I hate saying goodnight to.

Within both of my schools, I've seen friends so close that they text each other in the early hours of the morning, arrive to school and stick together, text each other when they're in different classes, stick together again and then text them on the way home and the cycle repeats itself. They can't see themselves being apart from the other, they're constantly communicating to fill in the void of not having the other there in person.

I've never had a person in my life like that until now.

I am telling you this today because you don't have to only be infatuated with a boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be anyone; an acquaintance, a friend, a best friend, absolutely anyone.

We've been dating for a little bit over a month now, things could honestly go in any direction for us, but that's what you always have to remember in life.

You never know what's going to be around the corner for you or the people in your life. If you find someone that you just want to spend all night talking to whether it's about jokes, 2am conversations that you'll barely remember the next day or conspiracy theories, seize the chance and do it.

It took me over a decade to find someone that I don't want to say goodnight to and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon. 

If you have someone in your life at the moment that you infatuated with, platonically or not, seize it. Don't find a reason to be staying up until 2am talking about why you think aliens exist, just do it.

As I mentioned before, you never know what life might have for you just around the corner. If you're afraid to become infatuated with someone because you don't know what the outcome will be, do it.

Of course you never know what will happen and things could change and they become bittersweet memories for you, but they'll return to happy memories because you'll remember how you loved those early hour conversations.

This might be something that you might not have needed to read because you already know this, but it's always good to be reminded to go for the things that you might be scared to do.

Get lost in the conversations, have time to yourselves, go for adventures, do whatever it is with someone that you're besotted with. 

I have no other reason to tell you why you should do that besides the fact that you're young.

We're all bound to make mistakes, we focus too much on school and finding/having a job that we forget to enjoy yourselves and get lost in a moment with someone else. 

I'm not necessarily recommending that you stay up until 2am texting someone that you're besotted with on a school night, but I am recommending that you do something with them that you don't do with anyone else.

Life is going to seem very short when we're all looking back on it; don't be afraid to spend it being smitten (once again platonically or not) with someone and creating memories that will make you both laugh and cringe.


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Balancing The Days

The most common example of balance in the world is Yin and Yang.

They say that there's the good in life, the bad in life, the bad in the good and the good in the bad; and that's said to be the balance of life.

I got a first hand experience this weekend of how the bad and the good will balance each other out.

I work both Saturday and Sunday mornings as a swim teacher.

Saturday was rather rough, but today was good.

First off, I can't catch little kids that jump in the water because of my thumb/wrist (I was giving my grandmother's dog a bath and I slipped intothe tub) and I was told that someone would be in the water with me at all times in case two of them jump at the same time (because that happens quite often), so I was feeling relieved about that.

Upon arriving to the pool on Saturday I realized that the only person that would be in the water with me would be a practice teacher.

I'm fine with that, but the practice teachers move around and I wasn't guaranteed someone there with me when I knew I needed them, so I borrowed one from someone else.

The practice teacher I stole from a coworker was a guy, probably had a head on me but he's sort of lanky and I thought it was going to be fine.

He came to the first class with me and one little girl started crying and refused to do anything.

I couldn't figure out what was wrong because she's usually really good and loves to swim, so I sent her over to her mom.

They came back over a bit later to the class and the mom explained that it was the practice teacher and she was afraid of him.

I managed to distract her and play games until the class ended, so that all worked out.

After that, I had my last class of the day.

I look forward to my last class, I have the two cutest little girls.

One is always smiling and ready to jump in while the other is really sweet, quiet and still nervous to go into water where she can't touch.

It's understandable at her age, but I don't think she'll be ready to let go of me in deeper water any time soon.

Halfway through the class, the little girl that's always happy to swim just lost it.

She didn't want to swim anymore, she was sobbing and her mom wouldn't take her out of the class and left her in the pool.

I still had another child to teach, so I called over a float teacher and got her to deal with the situation as I continued on with the class with the other girl.

That was my last class so I just left the pool and put it behind me.

It was a rough morning, it was the worst day of lessons yet.

I didn't know what to expect on today, but I was happy with the results.

My first class is a class with both the parent and the child, and I have 10 (parent and child duo) enrolled in the class.

Today, only 4 of them showed up.

It was the most bizarre thing, but I loved it. 

It was a lot quieter, I wasn't buzzing, I could watch what each kid was doing and not think "Oh no, did this kid already do it yet?"

It was so nice, I didn't do as many songs as I usually would, I didn't have to yell as much so it was nice and calm first class.

After that, I have a class where only one kid is enrolled in it, but she didn't show up so I got 20 minutes in the hot tub which was the nicest thing ever.

After that, I only had 3 more 45 minute classes.

I usually find them brutal, but I was able to fill the time up easily and we did fun things, so it was a really nice.

I left the pool feeling pretty good about today and today's lessons.

I feel as though I still have a lot to cover, but I still have at least five more weeks of lessons.

I wasn't as overwhelmed as I can be on Sunday mornings and it was nice to be able to take a breath and really think about what I'm doing and not worrying about the next thing, the next drill, the next song or the next game that we're doing.

I had a bad day at work on Saturday, but I had a great one today.

We always have good days and bad days no matter who we are in he work and what we do, but the days will always be there to balance each other out.

One More Girl, no longer online

Don't Hold Back

As many of you know, I volunteer at a museum. 

More specifically, an immigration museum.

As a volunteer, I tell the volunteer coordinator when I can go in and she adds me on the schedule accordingly. So far I'm going in every Saturday afternoon until the end of November.

Seeing as this past Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving, she asked me if I could go in and said that she understood if I had family plans. I told her it was no problem and I would be there for the shift she put me for.

I walked in and it turns out that she forgot to add me to the schedule. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to make my mom drive back already to pick me up, I decided to stay and to just walk around, talk to our visitors and see if I could help them out with anything.

Because I made that decision. I met some wonderful people.

We have two exhibits at the museum and I met one group of people in an exhibit and they were looking for something in the opposite exhibit, so I told them that and said that I'd be more than happy to escort them over to what they were looking for.

They were pretty thankful for that and I led them over to the exhibit.

I ended up giving them a tiny tour of the exhibit and talking to them a lot about the stories of the immigrants from France, the story of the Deportation of the Acadians and a few other stories that I knew. I told them a few personal stories of my own and they said that they loved that I was sharing my stories with them because it enrichened their experience at the museum.

I was so honored to be able to meet and to talk to these people because they were just wonderful and the sweetest people.

Not too long after that, I ended up chatting with an elderly woman who immigrated to Canada from Scotland. 

She was telling me that for her, her brother and her sister in-law, the experience was long and awful. Her brother and sister in-law got so fed up that they decided to immigrate to New Zealand instead.

I was chatting with her about her whole immigration process and I asked if she had any regrets.

She told me that she packed her bags in Scotland at 18 years old and hasn't regretted it one little bit.

She then proceeded to ask me about myself. At first she thought I was a university student, but she was rather shocked when I told her that I'm still in high school.

She then asked me what I wanted to be when I'm older and I told what I want to be: a travel writer.

She told me that every time I get a paycheck, I should take 10% of it, put it away and never touch it so that I could retire at 55 and live comfortably. 

It was really good advice and I'm going to follow it. She also asked me where I wanted to go, so I told her my top destinations but that I was also hesitant to go.

She looked me in the eyes and gave me advice that I'll never forget.

She told me to go for it.

She told me to do what I want to do and that it's a good thing to be scared. 

She told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to immigrate to Canada or Israel, but she said that if she didn't like it in 5 years time, she could change her mind. But 30+ years later, her she is, still in Canada.

She packed her bags at 18 to find something better and I'm going to do the same.

I can't say that I'll immigrate to another country, let alone another continent when I'm 18, but I'm not going to let fear hold me back from going to new places and meeting new people.

Great minds must think alike because this lady and my amazing older cousin both gave me the same advice.

Don't hold back.

And I won't.


One More Girl, no longer online

Having Too Much On Your Plate

Yes, it is Thursday and not my usual Wednesday post, but here's my reason as to why my bi-weekly post is late:

I was tired.

I haven't had the greatest sleep pattern since school as started, I've been going to bed very late with headaches, waking up early with headaches and it's not the greatest cycle for me.

I spend the majority of my day with headaches and I shouldn't be.

With all of this going on, I also work all day Saturday and then Sunday morning.

By the time Sunday afternoon comes around, I'm tired and I don't want to do all that much.

My plate is already full. My weeks have been pretty eventful.

Yesterday, I was in class when I received an email notification.

I'm in a Facebook group for work, and every time someone posts, I get an email notification.

It was a co-worker of mine looking for a teaching substitute to cover his 4:15-8:15 shift.

Four hours is a long time to be working as a teacher. It's a long time in the pool and you're bound to get cold within the first hour and a half.

I didn't know whether or not I wanted cover his shift, but after talking with my mom, I decided to take the shift because I could get more experience, get as many favours as possible, and I do need to earn money.

I ended up really enjoying the shift. I did get very cold about halfway through, but I made it to the end.

My last class was suppose to end at 8:15, but it went over until 8:20-8:25. There's absolutely no problem with that, it's just that I was so tired.

I got home at maybe 9:15, had supper, lied on my bed with full intention of writing a post, but I kept drifting off to sleep.

When I took that extra shift, I thought that I was doing it for me, I thought that I was doing it to earn money to put towards a trip, but I realized that I was wrong.

I also took that shift because I didn't want my coworker to worry. I didn't ask why, but I didn't want him to worry the whole day over if he would get a substitute for the shift or not.

It's not my responsibility. We are a facility with 30+ employees, I'm not the only one who would've been able to take the shift, I was the first to offer.

I shouldn't feel stressed or anxious about my evening if I'm taking someone else's shift. I'm doing it because I can, but sometimes I do it because I think I have to.

It is not my responsibility to make sure that someone else's shift is cover when I'm not working. Of course I can take the shift if I don't have any homework and I'm feeling okay, but there are supervisors that could have also covered his shift.

I should feel stressed over someone else's shift, that's not what I signed up for.

I'm going to plan my day and make sure that I have everything under control before I take on any extra shifts.


One More Girl, no longer online

Reaching Out

Since the summer, my anxiety levels have been a roller coaster.

During the summer, I would have good days and bad days, but it always felt as though the bad days outnumbered the good.

I would be stressed over everything, I would kick myself for every little thing done wrong and I just felt as though I was letting everyone down the whole summer.

That's a lot on one person's shoulders.

The whole summer long I felt as though I was letting everyone down and I didn't talk to anyone about it.

I felt so alone for three months, but I couldn't ask someone for help.

I felt as though I couldn't ask someone for help because I didn't think other people would understand. I thought that they would compare my constant anxiety to stressing out over a test that you only became nervous for a few minutes before you receive the test.

I felt as though I was always on edge and that anything could set me off.

It went on for so long that it became a normal feeling to me.

That's not okay.

I didn't do much to change things, but I did start to talk to people more, I started to say how I truly felt from time to time and it felt pretty good.

I knew that I'm defiantly not the only person who deals with anxiety in the world, but I felt as though I was the only person in MY world, meaning my social groups.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Did you know that nowadays, about one person out of three deals with a mental illness of some sort?

That's insane, it's absolutely insane. One person out of every three? That could be your mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, best friend, teacher, classmate, it can be anyone and you don't know who because you can't always see a mental illness.

I went to the movies tonight with two of my good friends, and at one point, one of them left about two thirds into the movie.

I figured at first that he was just going to the washroom, but as time went on, I got more and more worried about him.

I hid my phone so I wouldn't disturb anyone else and then I sent him a text to see if everything was alright.

He kept telling me that everything was fine, but when I saw him after the movie ended, I knew something was wrong.

I'm not going to go into detail about the story because it's not mine to tell, but in the long run, my friend was outside getting some air.

He told me that he thought it was better out there than in the theatre and that's okay.

He needed fresh air, he needed time to himself and that's okay, my other friend and I understood completely! Of course we wanted to make sure that he was okay, but we also don't want to push anything.

He texted me after we all got home and we talked about it and how he'll always have my support.

I was so proud of him because he was talking about it to me, he was reaching out and trusting me.

That's exactly what he have to do more. We need to trust the people in our lives a little bit more, we need to open up if we ever feel too stressed or worried or anything else and we need to reach out.

If you ever need someone to reach out to and don't know who, I will always accept emails and help out whoever and however I can at the email address onemoregirlonlineadvice@gmail.com

I can promise you that someone will always be there, whether it's myself or someone within your social group, willing to reach out to you too.

One More Girl, no longer online 

The Beginning Of An Amazing Adventure

I've always been a wanderer at heart.

I remember when I was younger, my mom would be in the living room with her cup of tea in the morning and she would be watching travel shows, and I would be making mental lists of where I wanted to go.

I would watch the show with her, but I was never actually there because I dreamt about being in the location of the travel episode we were watching.

Growing up. I still am filled with wanderlust, but I can't exactly do anything about it yet.

I can picture these grand and amazing adventures when I can't even afford two packs of gum.

As I grew older, the desire to travel and to have an adventure was put on the backburner while I started to focus more on school and my jobs.

When things in my life started to get too chaotic, I saw adventures as a way to leave everything behind. It's like as soon as I have the greatest adventure of my life, I'll be okay.

I'd be leaving the stress of work, of school and of home life behind me.

It would only be me and an unexplored part of the world to me that was just waiting to be explored.

I've heard travel stories from dozens of people, and every time I hear a story, I feel as though something is missing in my life and and I won't feel while until I have this grand adventure.

I spent the day with my friends today and one that I'm particularly close to kept saying that we were going on an adventure whenever we started to walk to a new destination.

I never realized how right he was until today.

According to Google, the definition of an adventure is "An unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity."

Although it's not always hazardous, spending time with my friends, there's always something unusual and exciting. There's always something to laugh at, you never know what topics are going to come up in conversation; it's always an adventure.

Something else that's unusual and exciting is that from where I live, there's a lunar eclipse tonight.

I've been photographing it and watching in amazement as the moon is slowly becoming dark and then red.

I don't think I've ever watched a lunar eclipse before, so this is something completely new and interesting and amazing to me.

With all of these events going on, I realized that adventures don't have to be as big and as extraordinary as I pictured them when I was younger, they just have to be something new to me.

I am not in the part of my life where I can control anything whenever and however I want to and I know that, but I'm not going to let that stop me from trying to fill that emptiness I have from not being able to have a great adventure right now, but I don't have to go far to have an amazing adventure.

Sometimes the greatest adventures of them all happen where you least expect them to.


One More Girl, no longer online