Give And Take

Although my current boyfriend is the only one I've ever had, he's the best one I've ever had.

He makes me laugh, comforts me when I'm said or upset, takes care of me when I don't feel well, talks me down from potential anxiety/panic attacks and he's bought me chocolate just because.

It's amazing to have him in my life and he does a lot for me. For example, when I'm in one of my low moods or generally not feeling well, he'll come over and watch Disney movies with me.

This is a guy who grew up with an older brother and never got into the whole Disney scene and never watched the princess movies.

This is a guy who loves horror movies yet knows how scared and jumpy I get from them so he'll settle for a Disney movie with me.

I'm sure we've gone through almost, if not all, of the Disney princesses movies and he hasn't complained once about. I'm sure he's joked about it, but he never seemed to mind watching the movies with me.  

Now I've never been one to watch sports. I think it's definitely something to go see live if you have the chance, but it's just not the same through the TV in my opinion.

My boyfriend loves to watch sports, he's a hockey player and follows the National Hockey League (NHL) as if it's his religion. Hockey is his main sport, yet he'll watch any sport.

As many know, Sunday was the SuperBowl. 

I've never watched football in my life yet we made plans to watch it together.

I've never watched football nor do I understand the sport all that much, my guy still wanted to watch the game with me.

I wish I could say that I tried my best to follow along, but honestly whenever the whistle blew for fouls, I was already asking about 20 different questions.

He had no knowledge of Disney movies and I had no knowledge of football games.

When you're with someone special to you either it's a partner in a relationship, a friend or a family member, you should always take the time to watch something they like and learn about that person.

Even though you find that whatever your friend wants to watch is absolutely boring, stick it out because that's what every relationship is about: Give and Take.

He took time to watch Disney movies with me so I'll make sure to watch the Stanley cup playoffs with him.

In my blog posts, I try to avoid writing about personal relationships simply because you never knew what could be coming down the road, however I thought that my relationship would be a really good example for this and the topic of give and take.

We might not have the same taste in movies, but that's okay because we can either compromise on the spot or one of use will give the other the choice. 

Admittedly we have a lot of "You pick." "No, you pick," moments, but in the end it doesn't matter what we do because we just want to spend time together in the end.

Try something new for someone special in your life because it's all about finding that happy middle ground where everyone gets a chance for something they like.

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Become Infatuated

I want to start off this post by saying that I'm terribly sorry for being off-schedule with my posts recently. I do try to keep it to every Sunday and Wednesday as much as possible, but work and school have to come first and by the end of the day, I'm usually exhausted and don't have the energy to write. I'm starting to find a bit more of a balance, but bear with me at the moment!

I take any chance I get to appreciate and thank you all for reading my blog. It's an absolute shock to me that so many people take time to read about my life and to even leave comments and I'm just so honored that I can write blog content that you enjoy to read.

I love all of my readers so much, I really do. There's a few people in particular that comes to mind when I think of my blog because I know that they're reading and they leave the loveliest comments and I'm so grateful for that.

But as much as I love you all and turn to you guys first with any news that I have, I've been holding back a little bit with some news and I really want to share it with you.

I have a boyfriend.

Yeah, I might've build that up to be something that you're now wondering "Why would you tell us this? It doesn't affect our life in any way."

Yes, it might not have a single impact on your life, but I don't want to talk about being him necessarily, but the feeling of being with him.

That sentence probably sounded very odd to you, but bear with me once again.

This is my first boyfriend and I have to say that things are going great, he's great and it's just amazing.

We spend quite a bit of time together, not just in school but also outside of school. We've had a few movie marathons, a few library sessions for homework and coffeeshop studying.

The more time I spend with him, the more I become infatuated with him.

I don't want any of you to think "Of course you're becoming infatuated with him; you're dating him!"

This is the first person I've stumbled across in my life that I hate saying goodnight to.

Within both of my schools, I've seen friends so close that they text each other in the early hours of the morning, arrive to school and stick together, text each other when they're in different classes, stick together again and then text them on the way home and the cycle repeats itself. They can't see themselves being apart from the other, they're constantly communicating to fill in the void of not having the other there in person.

I've never had a person in my life like that until now.

I am telling you this today because you don't have to only be infatuated with a boyfriend/girlfriend, it can be anyone; an acquaintance, a friend, a best friend, absolutely anyone.

We've been dating for a little bit over a month now, things could honestly go in any direction for us, but that's what you always have to remember in life.

You never know what's going to be around the corner for you or the people in your life. If you find someone that you just want to spend all night talking to whether it's about jokes, 2am conversations that you'll barely remember the next day or conspiracy theories, seize the chance and do it.

It took me over a decade to find someone that I don't want to say goodnight to and I don't plan on that changing anytime soon. 

If you have someone in your life at the moment that you infatuated with, platonically or not, seize it. Don't find a reason to be staying up until 2am talking about why you think aliens exist, just do it.

As I mentioned before, you never know what life might have for you just around the corner. If you're afraid to become infatuated with someone because you don't know what the outcome will be, do it.

Of course you never know what will happen and things could change and they become bittersweet memories for you, but they'll return to happy memories because you'll remember how you loved those early hour conversations.

This might be something that you might not have needed to read because you already know this, but it's always good to be reminded to go for the things that you might be scared to do.

Get lost in the conversations, have time to yourselves, go for adventures, do whatever it is with someone that you're besotted with. 

I have no other reason to tell you why you should do that besides the fact that you're young.

We're all bound to make mistakes, we focus too much on school and finding/having a job that we forget to enjoy yourselves and get lost in a moment with someone else. 

I'm not necessarily recommending that you stay up until 2am texting someone that you're besotted with on a school night, but I am recommending that you do something with them that you don't do with anyone else.

Life is going to seem very short when we're all looking back on it; don't be afraid to spend it being smitten (once again platonically or not) with someone and creating memories that will make you both laugh and cringe.


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Concerns About The Future

One of my biggest fears, if not my biggest fear, is the future.

I'm terrified of the idea of being responsible for my own life in the way that I could do something stupid and regret it for forever after that. I'm terrified of doing something that I didn't realize I actually hate until it's too late. I'm terrified of making a wrong choice that could potentially be affected in the long wrong such as a career choice and so on. I'm terrified of the idea to not know what I could and couldn't control later on in my life.

I could keep going with why I'm terrified of the future, but I think you all understand the idea.

Because of this, I've finally figured out what my New Year's resolution is going to be. Although it's quite late, it's better late then never, and I think this is one that I will carry out for much longer than just a this year. 

What inspired me to write this post is that on Friday, my class was given the talk about course selection that could affect our future university acceptance and career and it really freaked me out. I won't lie, I was ready to cry.

I took a lot of time for myself on Saturday. I stayed in my room most of the day on the Internet, listening to music watching YouTube videos and simply thinking.

I started thinking of what I would like to do for a career. I started to prioritize things in my life. I thought about what made me genuinely happy. I thought about all of my hobbies that I already love and wondering if I could turn that into a job. 

Of course these thoughts provoked more questions and growing concerns. 

I started wondering about possible universities, if I want to stay close to home or go abroad, what would be the money situation, and so much more.

That's when I realized something rather important. Not just for course selection, but for life in general.

I don't have to be worrying about this all at once.

Rathering than freaking out about making the right course selections and making my parents, I need to do what makes me happy. Of course I can change my mind from here to when I start university and circumstances can change, but I do have a general idea in where I want my life to go. Instead of worrying about making the right choices for what could possibly benefit me, I'm making sure I'm happy and proud of what I'm doing.

A quote we all hear a lot is "Forget the past, it's in the past. Focus on your future," and I can't stress how important it is that you don't live by this quote.

I do agree with the forget the past, but DO NOT focus on your future. The more you focus on it, the more you lose your grip on the present. Living in the future is the most acceptable way to escape the present and once we return to it, we realize how much weight we have on our shoulders and we tend to crumble under it.

If a friendship falls out, that's okay. You don't have to focus on fixing that for the future, do what feels right in the present time. 
If you take a class at school that won't help you towards the degree you want, that's okay. Don't freak out thinking that you won't graduate, you can go talk to the school's counselor or principal. It can be fixed.
If you did something stupid in the past, it doesn't define you as who you are right now. Chances are that you're the only one who remembers.

So once again, my late New Year's resolution is to be happy, not stress out over the future and what could be, and live in the moment, enjoy what I'm doing and to love what I'm doing.


One More Girl, no longer online

Don't Let Go of Love

Being on a sports' team, something you usually have to do is a fundraiser.

My team was selling raffle tickets over the weekend to win the prize of a one night stay at a hotel and a 100$ gift card to a fancy restaurant in the local area, and the draw for the prize will take place on February 13th, the day before Valentines Day.

During my shift yesterday, an elderly man came by to buy some tickets. He asked what the draw and everything was about, who he was supporting, what the prize was, and all of that typical stuff you expect to hear while trying to sell/raise money for something. At the end of it, I added "Draw date is February 13th, so it's right on time for Valentine's Day!"

He looked me in the eyes with a sad look upon his face and said "Well I lost the love of my life to ovarian cancer back in 1986 (I think that was the year he said, I can't remember that exactly). I did however find someone new, but it's not the same, you know? She's like a best friend to me, and I know that it's someone that she (referring to the love of his life that he lost) would've liked to known her."

I was speechless.

I have lost family members, yes, but to lose the love of your life, your soulmate, your other half, I couldn't imagine what that would be like. 

In Greek mythology, it's believed that humans used to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two noses, basically double of everything. Zeus was afraid that someday, the humans would be capable of overthrowing the Gods, so he split them all in half, resulting in one half to search for the other. To find their soulmate.

After all of that looking, this man found his other half, was ready to spend the rest of his life with her, but cancer ripped that away from him.

This was just another eye opener for me.

When I lost my grandfather on September 1st 2014, that was hard for me. 

I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't know when it was appropriate for me to cry, I didn't know what to do with all of the memories I have of him because I was afraid to lose them, and finally, I didn't know who to talk to about all of this.

"You can't close anyone out now...If anything this is the time to be close with your family. You need them and they need you. Having someone pass in your family shows you that you have to spend time with them and cherish it. You don't know how long the moment will last," is something that one of my friends told me when I confided in them how I felt, and I don't think that statement could be any truer. 

Those two events taught me something.

If you love someone, whether its a family member, a friend, a lover or a role model in your life, make sure you tell them how much you appreciate them or that you love them. You have to hold onto the love you have now, because you never know when it's going to be ripped away from you, or when you might feel those feelings again.

If you have a crush on someone or you have a strong feeling for them, don't play hard to get. Maybe someday, you will just be too hard to get that the person that's chasing after will let you go. 

If you have someone that loves you, I am begging you, grab onto that love with both hands and hold on. Hold on to it for as long as you can and don't ever let it go. Don't let it slip away, because hell, someday it might.

Love is such an amazing thing that we really do take for granted nowadays, but that elderly man with his story was a reminder to me to never let go of love, and I hope you take this post as a reminder.

If you're looking for a reason to tell someone you like them, call up your crush, tell your best friend how you truly feel about them...this is it. 

Don't take love for granted because now, it's a rare thing, so don't let go of the people you love.


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