Inappropriate Jokes And Being "Sensitive"

When you're in school, you hear a lot of things. You hear rumours, you hear lies, you hear gossip, but you also hear jokes.

Jokes are great because they can help you make it through a day. If it's a long day in particular, they can lift your spirits up a little bit. There's no harm in having a laugh!

There is a harm, however, in making inappropriate jokes.

Back when I was twelve years old, there was an incident that happened that left me emotionally traumatized. A few years later and I still have trouble talking about it without crying a little bit.

It was a really hard time for me and I feel as though I haven't gotten completely over it.

Fast forward a few years and I've come to accept the fact that it happened and I'm trying to move on from it, but that's definitely easier said then done.

How am I supposed to move on from that bad point in my life if people keep making jokes about it and laughing about it?

I don't talk about what happened at all, so people don't know that I suffer from it, but that doesn't mean they should joke about it anyway!

This is a little worse than I what I experienced, so please don't go off thinking the worse, but did you know that one in every four woman in North America will be sexually assaulted throughout their life?

Did you know that 60% of sexually abused/assaulted people are under the age of 17?

Did you know that 57% of aboriginal women (in Canada) have been sexually abused?

With statistics like those in only one single category, how can you feel good or accomplished about making jokes about rape?

If you're the person feeling offended by the joke, you're left with the choice of telling the people who told the joke to stop because jokes like that aren't funny, or you're left with the choice of sitting back, not saying anything by it while being bothered by the joke.

From personal experience, if you tell people that a joke like that isn't funny and it's wrong, then, from personal experience, you might hear the words "Oh my God, you're so lame," or "What a loser," or what I find to be the worst "God, you're so sensitive."

That's the worse for me because that's a complete lie.

I am not being too sensitive. I am being a person who is trying to avoid a bad time in my life. I am a person trying overcome a traumatizing experience. I am doing what any person would do in that situation and you're mocking me for that and making my emotional recover take longer.

This is an issue that has to be addressed.

I constantly hear people joking about rape, being gay, being assaulted/sexually assaulted, having a mental illness, being suicidal and more.

Jokes like that aren't funny. People are scarred for life from events like that.

Do you have any idea how many people struggle with coming out to their friends and family that they end up not doing it? People have to find their love for another person because they feel as though they won't be accepted by the people in their life.

It isn't fair.

Something that people have to start understanding is:

Rape jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Sexual assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Mental illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Physical illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Weight jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Self harm jokes aren't funny to everyone.
LGBT jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Race jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Religion jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Suicide jokes aren't funny to everyone.

Any category that are also often jokes about that I missed, I'm truly sorry and feel free to leave it in a comment to remind everyone else that something of that subject should not be joked about.

If you are aware that this is a problem yet you continue to make jokes about those subjects, you're part of the problem.

Then again, what do I know? I don't live your life, you might've been a victim of something traumatizing or part of a social group that's often jokes about, and maybe you joking about it is how you're comforted by it.

It's different for everyone, but you must remember that the people around you might've lived through something awful that you might not know about, and you telling jokes like that could be slowly killing them on the inside.

People go through different experiences in life whether they're good or bad.

Just because they haven't told you about it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened and it doesn't mean that they aren't still affected by it.


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Sometimes We Have To Slow Down

Man, it's March 1st already. It's insane to think that it's the first day of March, yet it's the first day of March.

When I turned on my phone for the day and saw the date, I think that's when it really sunk in as to what the date is. I knew March was coming up today, I knew it was going to be a new month, but I guess that it didn't really sink in until this morning.

That's what inspired me to write this post.

This year, for me at least, already feels as if it's flying by. We've already gone through two whole months of 2015. Normally, I feel as if days drag on, yet so far this year,  they're flying by.

Although the year is passing by quickly, I've constantly been feeling as if I'm drowning in choices, in a pit of despair for school, and in wonder. 

I mentioned before that thinking about the future is our way of escaping the present, yet I still can't manage to stop thinking about it.

Today was a little bit of a wake up call for me, seeing that the first two months seem to have flown by and I can't say that I've really done something that I'm extremely proud of yet. I feel as if I have wasted two months, constantly worrying about what could be.

This is a reminder for me, and anyone else who needs it, that we really do have to slow down at times.

If you're having a family dinner, enjoy it, don't worry about homework, it can wait. 

If you're talking to someone on the phone that you haven't seen or heard from in ages, don't feel bad for asking them so many questions.

If you and you're friends do something stupid, that's okay, you did it together.

As a teenager, I don't tend to do this, but I will start to slow down and enjoy the smaller things I have in my life because in the end, I know that those will count the most.

As an expression I hear a lot around in my school, "Slow down, speed racer."

Life isn't a race, so why do we all treat it like one?

One More Girl, no longer online

Concerns About The Future

One of my biggest fears, if not my biggest fear, is the future.

I'm terrified of the idea of being responsible for my own life in the way that I could do something stupid and regret it for forever after that. I'm terrified of doing something that I didn't realize I actually hate until it's too late. I'm terrified of making a wrong choice that could potentially be affected in the long wrong such as a career choice and so on. I'm terrified of the idea to not know what I could and couldn't control later on in my life.

I could keep going with why I'm terrified of the future, but I think you all understand the idea.

Because of this, I've finally figured out what my New Year's resolution is going to be. Although it's quite late, it's better late then never, and I think this is one that I will carry out for much longer than just a this year. 

What inspired me to write this post is that on Friday, my class was given the talk about course selection that could affect our future university acceptance and career and it really freaked me out. I won't lie, I was ready to cry.

I took a lot of time for myself on Saturday. I stayed in my room most of the day on the Internet, listening to music watching YouTube videos and simply thinking.

I started thinking of what I would like to do for a career. I started to prioritize things in my life. I thought about what made me genuinely happy. I thought about all of my hobbies that I already love and wondering if I could turn that into a job. 

Of course these thoughts provoked more questions and growing concerns. 

I started wondering about possible universities, if I want to stay close to home or go abroad, what would be the money situation, and so much more.

That's when I realized something rather important. Not just for course selection, but for life in general.

I don't have to be worrying about this all at once.

Rathering than freaking out about making the right course selections and making my parents, I need to do what makes me happy. Of course I can change my mind from here to when I start university and circumstances can change, but I do have a general idea in where I want my life to go. Instead of worrying about making the right choices for what could possibly benefit me, I'm making sure I'm happy and proud of what I'm doing.

A quote we all hear a lot is "Forget the past, it's in the past. Focus on your future," and I can't stress how important it is that you don't live by this quote.

I do agree with the forget the past, but DO NOT focus on your future. The more you focus on it, the more you lose your grip on the present. Living in the future is the most acceptable way to escape the present and once we return to it, we realize how much weight we have on our shoulders and we tend to crumble under it.

If a friendship falls out, that's okay. You don't have to focus on fixing that for the future, do what feels right in the present time. 
If you take a class at school that won't help you towards the degree you want, that's okay. Don't freak out thinking that you won't graduate, you can go talk to the school's counselor or principal. It can be fixed.
If you did something stupid in the past, it doesn't define you as who you are right now. Chances are that you're the only one who remembers.

So once again, my late New Year's resolution is to be happy, not stress out over the future and what could be, and live in the moment, enjoy what I'm doing and to love what I'm doing.


One More Girl, no longer online