Jumping In Feet First

I've been struggling a little bit to make friends in my classes. I have the same group of people that I chat to in classes, but I don't know if I can call them friends yet.

They're all really nice and funny, but I don't talk to them during lunch or outside of school, it's only been in a classroom.

One girl from my softball team is in my grade, she's not in any of my classes, but she's having an easier time making friends seeing as she's really outgoing.

I, on the other hand, am not.

The other day, she was talking about all of her friends and said that she as texting a few of them and I don't really have the contact information of the few people I talk to in class.

Today I went to the library with my friend so that we could get homework done, and she told me that one of her friends was coming with us.

We planned to go to the library at 12:00pm, but apparently it only opened at 2:00pm.

My friend was bored at 12:00pm, so we decided to meet up at a coffee shop not far from the library. I was there maybe 30 minutes before her and I started an English paper and got about halfway through before she showed up.

We got ourselves some drinks and we sat in the comfy seats, talked and I typed my paper.

Not too long after, her friend walked in, got himself a drink and joined us.

I was actually a little nervous, I haven't seen him around school, I didn't know who he was at all and I was nervous to make a fool of myself.

We spent about an hour and a half in the coffee shop, and for the first 45 minutes to an hour maybe, I wouldn't look at him.

Whenever I was talking to the both of them, I would look at my friend and I just couldn't make eye contact with him.

Eventually, we started talking a little bit more, realizing we have a lot of similar interest and we have a really similar music taste.

I pretty much finished all my homework at the coffee shop, but I had some extra things to do at the library which was to write down my thoughts about certain passages from an exert from a book that we had to read in English.

I wrote down one, maybe two, lines.

We spent almost two hours in the library, but none of us got any work done.

We had a little corner to ourselves, so we just messed around, had a laugh and we just had a good time in general.

I definitely feel a lot more comfortable around him then I did when I first met him and that's great because now I think I have my first official friend whom I didn't know going into the new school.

During the day, I learnt that when it comes to new things, it's best to just take a breath and jump in.

It's better to jump in feet first, don't test the water because then you might decided to not get in the water, but if you jump, you'll have a bigger chance of enjoying yourself later on.

My friend had an easier time making friends because she jumped in feet first.

I stood on the side testing the water, it's as if I've been playing things too safe.

Because I'm too nervous to say hi to the people around me, I haven't been making many friends so far.

Today defiantly helped boost my confidence and I hope to jump in and make new friends this week.


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A Few Thoughts On School

Since middle school started, it's never been my favourite thing.

Then again, I don't think that many students do enjoy school.

As I've expressed in my post School and Cameras, I find that some rules are unfair in the school system.

As far as rules go, I can't say I'm all that happy about them.

There's that whole dress code thing which is a little ridiculous because they're quite sexist. Boys can wear muscle tank tops, but as soon as girls wear them, shoulders are suddenly a major turn on for everyone.

And then there's the whole problem that companies don't make athletic shorts for girls that are an appropriate length, therefore I can't wear the only comfortable shorts I own.

Getting a little off track with what I wanted to mainly write this post about, but they're still my thoughts on things involving school.

Now what I wanted to talk about are the classes themselves.

Throughout the years, they teach you things which they build on the following years. I think that's great, that's a good way to go about things.

The thing that bugs me is that most teachers complain about having too much material to teach and they feel as though they're going to run out of time, but why do they have to teach the unreasonable things?

I'm going to specify on what's going on at my school at the moment, but this could apply to you in any subject.

Currently in gym class, we're doing dance and gymnastics.

Like I said before, school tend to teach you something in one year and build on it the following years.

The question I have is why am I still doing dance and gymnastics when I did it back in grade 3?

I understand that I don't have a choice as to what teachers have to teach, but I should have a choice in how I present things.

For my dance and gymnastics module, the last thing we have to do is perform a dance that's roughly a minute long that you and your partner created in front of the class.

Doing that is something I'm extremely uncomfortable with.

I have expressed that I'm really uncomfortable with this to my teacher before, but "because everyone else is doing it, so do I."

Has anyone else approached her with the same feeling about it? I don't know, but if a student is extremely uncomfortable doing something in front of the class, they should be aloud to do it some other way, whether it's in front of the teacher alone or you don't have the whole class intently staring at them while doing it.

If I were to roll my ankle or injure myself in any way in between now and the day that I have to dance in front of the class, then I get a free pass. I don't have to do the dance, nor will I have to make up for it later.

If I were to go up to my teacher and say that I'm extremely uncomfortable, I'll most likely be told that everyone gets nervous yet everyone else before me did it.

I'm sorry, but if something is causing my internal distress, there should be something done about it!

Teachers say that school should be a safe and fun learning environment. If I'm being put into a situation of internal distress, that should be taken into consideration. Something should be done to make the student more comfortable.

Just because I don't have any physical problem such as a broken bone doesn't mean that I'm not struggling on the inside.

With the way the world is going in this day and age, teachers should be trained on how to deal with these types of situations.

Your comfort level is not something to be tossed around with. If something is happen that you're really not comfortable with, try anything you can to find a solution.


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Anxiety Attack And Amazing Teammates

Whenever I'm in a tight situation, I usually work myself up.

I can work myself up over the smallest details and make those small details seem like the biggest life changing events.

It's fair to say that I feel anxious a lot and sometimes, that feeling of anxiety gets to be too much.

Although panic attacks and anxiety attacks are quite similar, there are a few difference.

An anxiety attack is often the reaction of a stressor. It's like you're at the peak of a roller coaster ride, seeing the big drop ahead of you. With anxiety attacks, you may feel fearful or apprehensive. Your heart could start to race, you may feel short of breath, but anxiety attacks tend to be short lived. When the stressor, meaning if the event that is causing the stressor goes away or you yourself physically remove yourself from the situation, you can get the anxiety attack under control.

Panic attacks don't come in reaction with a stressor. They tend to be unprovoked and unpredictable. During one, the person could be seized with terror, fear or apprehensive. The person having the attack could feel as if they're going to die, lose control or have a heart attack. Symptoms of a panic attack are chest pains, shortness of breath, dizziness and nausea.

After explaining both of those, I can say that I've experienced both of them.

I was away at a softball tournament this weekend when I had an anxiety attack.

We were playing a game to go to the gold medal championship game and I was doing terrible.

The anxiety started at the start of the tournament. I didn't hit at all, so that made me start to panic a little bit. We were pretty tight on the score board, we were only ahead by three runs and I failed two of the most important plays I had the whole weekend.

I was playing first base and I missed the first ball for an easy out and I let one go by in the dirt. At one point, I had the ball and a girl was running to home, but I waited too long to throw the ball and she was safe. I was supposed to go to first base the next inning also, but my coach switched me out. I can't blame him, he just wanted the best for the team.

I, however, felt as if I let the whole team down.

I couldn't do anything right, how could they even say good job to the person who let the run in?

I sat on the bench and one girl noticed I was being hard on myself and looked upset, so she made sure I was okay.

At that point, I was still trying I choke everything down. She sat in the bench not too far from me, but I kept working myself up because I knew that I had to go bat and I didn't hit at all this tournament.

The girl who made sure I was okay looked over at me, and before I knew it, I snapped.

I felt a ball in my throat and my stomach. I felt as if I was going to be sick, I couldn't breath properly, my heart felt as if it was pounding in my chest.

The girl came over and just sat in front of me and told me to breath while patting my leg. There were two other girls sitting next to me, but they didn't say anything. They just also wanted to make sure I was okay.

The girl stayed with me until I was able to calm myself down and she was a big help. She told me that she knew what it was like, so whether the fact that she's experienced them herself or has a friend who has anxiety or panic attacks is unknown to me.

She had to go up to bat, so she asked the two other girls to watch over me in a nice way. They didn't ask why it happened, what caused it, they didn't asked anything about what just happened. They simply asked if I was okay it or if I needed anything.

Needless to say, I was slightly ashamed that my teammates saw that, I never wanted any of them to know that I experience anxiety attacks, but in the end they found out. They didn't care, they didn't mock me. They did what teammates do and they helped me and I couldn't be more grateful then that.

Once I got back on my feet, I walked to the other end of the dugout and one girl who must've saw what was happening also asked if I was alright. Once again, she didn't ask what happened, why it happened or what that was, but she only asked if I was doing alright.

I just want to say that just because that's my story, that doesn't mean that it's everyone else's.

If you know someone who's having an anxiety or panic attack, there's many ways to help, but it will all depend on the person.

• Some people won't mind if you touch them, but for others it might make the situation worse. Always ask them before you touch them in any way.

• Don't think about what you would like done in that situation, but focus on what the person having the attack needs.

• If they ask for some space, give it to them. It's absolutely nothing to be offended about. Some people deal with them on their own and have their own way of calming themselves down, but they might feel the need to be alone for it. If they ask you to leave, you can still keep an eye on them! Don't feel as if they don't want you around because that just not be what they need at the moment.

• Ask them before you bring someone else to the situation. I know myself that I hate attention on me, especially if it's when I have an attack, so if you want to bring someone else in to help them, always ask them. Say something like "Hey, is it okay if ______ comes over here?" If they can't talk, the person might nod or shake their head. If they don't give you a reply, it would probably be best to take it as a no.

The information I received for the differences between a panic and anxiety attack is from a health website, but the bullet points are from my own person experiences.

This was a little personal for me to write about, but I hope that at least one of you will be able to take something away from it.

To all those who have anxiety or experience panic attacks and don't want to leave a comment or feel as if you dot have anyone to talk to about this, you can always send me an email at onemoregirlonline@gmail.com and I'll be there for you.

In the end, my team went undefeated at the tournament and went home with the gold and I found out just how truly amazing my teammates are.


One More Girl, no longer online

Inappropriate Jokes And Being "Sensitive"

When you're in school, you hear a lot of things. You hear rumours, you hear lies, you hear gossip, but you also hear jokes.

Jokes are great because they can help you make it through a day. If it's a long day in particular, they can lift your spirits up a little bit. There's no harm in having a laugh!

There is a harm, however, in making inappropriate jokes.

Back when I was twelve years old, there was an incident that happened that left me emotionally traumatized. A few years later and I still have trouble talking about it without crying a little bit.

It was a really hard time for me and I feel as though I haven't gotten completely over it.

Fast forward a few years and I've come to accept the fact that it happened and I'm trying to move on from it, but that's definitely easier said then done.

How am I supposed to move on from that bad point in my life if people keep making jokes about it and laughing about it?

I don't talk about what happened at all, so people don't know that I suffer from it, but that doesn't mean they should joke about it anyway!

This is a little worse than I what I experienced, so please don't go off thinking the worse, but did you know that one in every four woman in North America will be sexually assaulted throughout their life?

Did you know that 60% of sexually abused/assaulted people are under the age of 17?

Did you know that 57% of aboriginal women (in Canada) have been sexually abused?

With statistics like those in only one single category, how can you feel good or accomplished about making jokes about rape?

If you're the person feeling offended by the joke, you're left with the choice of telling the people who told the joke to stop because jokes like that aren't funny, or you're left with the choice of sitting back, not saying anything by it while being bothered by the joke.

From personal experience, if you tell people that a joke like that isn't funny and it's wrong, then, from personal experience, you might hear the words "Oh my God, you're so lame," or "What a loser," or what I find to be the worst "God, you're so sensitive."

That's the worse for me because that's a complete lie.

I am not being too sensitive. I am being a person who is trying to avoid a bad time in my life. I am a person trying overcome a traumatizing experience. I am doing what any person would do in that situation and you're mocking me for that and making my emotional recover take longer.

This is an issue that has to be addressed.

I constantly hear people joking about rape, being gay, being assaulted/sexually assaulted, having a mental illness, being suicidal and more.

Jokes like that aren't funny. People are scarred for life from events like that.

Do you have any idea how many people struggle with coming out to their friends and family that they end up not doing it? People have to find their love for another person because they feel as though they won't be accepted by the people in their life.

It isn't fair.

Something that people have to start understanding is:

Rape jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Sexual assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Mental illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Physical illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Weight jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Self harm jokes aren't funny to everyone.
LGBT jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Race jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Religion jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Suicide jokes aren't funny to everyone.

Any category that are also often jokes about that I missed, I'm truly sorry and feel free to leave it in a comment to remind everyone else that something of that subject should not be joked about.

If you are aware that this is a problem yet you continue to make jokes about those subjects, you're part of the problem.

Then again, what do I know? I don't live your life, you might've been a victim of something traumatizing or part of a social group that's often jokes about, and maybe you joking about it is how you're comforted by it.

It's different for everyone, but you must remember that the people around you might've lived through something awful that you might not know about, and you telling jokes like that could be slowly killing them on the inside.

People go through different experiences in life whether they're good or bad.

Just because they haven't told you about it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened and it doesn't mean that they aren't still affected by it.


One More Girl, no longer online

Going Under The Knife

It occurred to me this afternoon that I didn't write yesterday like I normally do and I'm sincerely sorry for that.

I'll be honest, I don't have a reasonable excuse as to why I didn't post, but the truth is that I was very busy and it simply slipped my mind.

I've been having one of those weeks where I feel as though I'm drowning in work and my thoughts when in reality, there wasn't all that much that went on. 

I guess that it was a heavier week for me on the mental side of things.

Whenever I get stressed out about work, I hit this point where I'm so stressed out that I can't even bring myself to do work anymore. I sit there doing nothing which wastes a lot of time, stressing out about everything that I have to do or what will be done and I no longer feel as though I have strength to function.

I didn't have much school work this week. I don't think that I had any, to be honest.

My mind has just been completely occupied with the thought that I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow.

I might've mentioned it before on here, I can't really remember, but I'm terrified for tomorrow.

I wrote this post over the afternoon/evening. I started writing at around 4:30 before I had to leave to go to my sports practice and I only got home at around 8:30. Before I actually got home, I stopped at the grocery store to get anything soft.

I'm stocked up on smoothies, pudding, jello and applesauce.

As the night went on, I knew that I was nervous, I had butterflies in my stomach. Now I feel as though there's a boxing fight happening in my stomach.

I know that people get their wisdom teeth out everyday, but this is my first surgery and I'm scared.

I don't know anyone else who got their wisdom teeth out, so I don't have anyone to talk to about this. 

All I can suggest for anyone read this who could be scared about something is to talk about it.

Talk about whatever you're scared about with a friend, parent, teacher or anyone you feel comfortable with. Not only will it help calm you down and break down the situation bit by bit, but you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.

Once again, I'm very sorry for my late post, but I hope you all understand!


One More Girl, no longer online

Injuries And Recoveries

Sunday afternoon, I had a softball practice. I love playing softball, I have been playing for about 7-9 years now and I'm still loving the sport.

The only downside to it, which is normal, are injuries.

I have received a few injuries before. I've hurt my knee, elbow, shoulder and I've broken my thumb during a game. Those aren't all that big, they're average injuries.

If you see someone with a finger split or two finger taped together, you'll don't think twice about it. The other injuries I've had, it was easy to hide/cover up what I needed to help recover (physiotherapy tape, braces, etc.) from the injury.

During that practice, I ended up either damaging or straining (I can't really remember if I'm being honest) the muscle running from my wrist to my elbow.

It's a pretty long muscle if you think about it, that calls for a lot of physiotherapy tape.

I currently have black and blue tape from between my fingers, over my hand, all the way up to my elbow and even a little bit past it.

Tonight I went to the gym with my dad, and to say I was uncomfortable was a little bit of an understatement.

Because I was wearing a t-shirt, you could see all of the tape. For the reason of it being physiotherapy tape and you don't know why people have it, you tend to look and wonder.

In other words, stare.

I got quite a few looks from people. They all seemed to want to know the same answer to the same question: What could you have possibly done to yourself or what situation could you have been in when that happened?

I was uncomfortable with people looking at me and looking at the tape. It wasn't something that I enjoyed, but then I realized something.

They don't have to know anything.

If people looking at the tape on my arm means that I'm getting what I need to make a recovery soon, then so be it.

Although it is embarrassing to have people look at you and wonder about your story, isn't it so much better to not think about that and focus on your own recovery?

No matter what the situation is for your injury or illness that you're recovering from, those strangers don't play a single role in your recovery.

Strangers don't and won't know every single detail in your life. If you have to wear something out in public that might draw attention to you, do it.

If it helps you get better, then you should do it! You're not going to see those people ever again.

Take your own health into your own hands and ignore what looks you could possibly be given.

Please do your best to look after yourself. It's important that you do.


One More Girl, no longer online

Fears

Fears are silly things if we think about them.

Scientist say that if we didn't fear things, we wouldn't be alive. Fear is the general response for when we're in a potentially dangerous situation or we feel threatened.

I've constantly heard, and have been told a few times myself, that we have to get over our fears.

I don't think that we have to.

Depending on what you're afraid of, fear shows our values. They let us express what we're afraid to lose, things we cherish, and what we're afraid of what may be/what hasn't happened yet without having to go into a huge speech as to why. We don't have to explain ourselves when we're afraid of something.

For example, a fear of mine is to never be able to have kids. That's something that hasn't happened yet, but with that one little fact about me, you can already tell some of my values for the future: Start a family and be the best mom I could be. 

I feel as though that's a rational fear. It's something that I don't have 100% control over and could change what little of my future I already have planned. 

An irrational fear I had when I was younger was that I would think that there could be a shark in the pool or lake I was swimming in. I'm pretty sure that that fear was created in between the time of my 10 years of swimming and my first time watching Jaws.

As I got older, I realized how silly that fear was. I broke down the main components, thinking if:

1. There could actually be a shark in the pool.
2. I would be allowed to swim in a place with a killer shark nearby.

I saw how silly that fear was, so I was able to get over it. I understood why I would have that fear, what made me create it in my mind, I analyzed the logic behind it and once I realized that there was none, I stopped being afraid.

Some fears you have for many different reasons and some could be explained easier than others. It's up to you to realize if your fear is rational or irrational, if it's something that you can control and if it's something that is holding you back from something that you really want to do.

I wrote this post today because this afternoon, I went for my wisdom teeth removal consultation. To be perfectly honest, yes, I am scared. The procedure is happening in exactly one month from today, but I can't help but think of everything that could go wrong. 

What is helping me slowly overcome that fear is having to remind myself that many people have this procedure done, it's safe and the doctors know what they're doing.

I believe if you break down any fear you can have and figure out why you have it, I think you can overcome it.

In the end, are fears honestly a bad thing, or do they push us to do whatever could lead us to the best outcome?


One More Girl, no longer online

Bumps In The Road

This afternoon, I went to the doctors and I heard the words that I was terrified to hear, yet deep down, I knew that they were coming.

At the moment, I'm still having trouble processing it all, so I don't feel up to opening about all of that quite yet, but maybe a little later on in the future I'll be open to talking about it.

Tonight's post is going to be a short one that's going to be a reminder for myself in the future, and maybe it could be one for you right now.

They say that life's a journey and you never know what to expect on that journey, and I learnt a little more about that with today.

For a journey, I assume that you need some sort of transport and grounds to get across.

For me, I see life as a dirt road.

It's a dirt road because some parts are as smooth as ever, others are a little patchy yet still manageable, and others are extremely rough, not necessarily in that order and on a constant loop.

I'm currently in the extremely rough part of that long dirt road, and all I can say for anyone else that might also be on that part of the road is that it may not look like it, but there will be a smooth part coming up.

Trust me, I know what it's like to see a rough part of the road for ages, but everything comes to an end at some point, right? No, sadly I can't say whether that the smooth part is coming up in a few minutes or in a few days, I can't tell you when it is, but I can promise that it's waiting to greet you.

Although you may feel terribly alone right now or when you but that rough part, you're not alone. That's probably the hardest, yet most important thing to remember. You're not alone, there's always help somewhere and there's always someone looking to support you.

Even if you don't believe it, I'm supporting you. I'm rooting for you to find that smooth part of the road.

I don't know what your current life situation is. I don't know if it might be a little rocky or if it's a smooth ride for awhile, but there's always going to be bumps in the road and you don't have to let it become a mountain for you.

Whatever you have to do, slow it down. There's no point in blowing a tire or damaging your car while trying to speed over the bumps.

What I want for anyone who reads this to take from it is that things do get better, and there's always someone cheering you on, even if you don't see them.


One More Girl, no longer online

Being Body Positive

A study by the Dove Self-Esteem Project (DSEP) reveals that 47% of teen girls between the ages of 11 to 14 refuse to take part in activities that will show off their body in any way, such as swimming or performing in front of the school (drama class).

Almost half of the girls that took part of this study have low self esteem. The worst part is that these girls are in the age range of 11 to 14 years old. That's far to young to be worrying about body image, yet sadly, this is what society has come to.

I will admit that I've struggled with self esteem for awhile now. I'll share a little bit about my story and then say how I'm starting to build it back up.

As many others could relate to, I struggle to love certain body parts. I've never loved my stomach, my back or my shoulders. I was never confident about my weight.

When I started going to the gym, I was always uncomfortable because you see all these people walking past you, clearly haven been working out for years. You'd see anything from slim bodies to strong muscles, and yes, I was envious of others.

After a summer of the gym and swim training, I started to notice little changes about my body.

I was slightly slimmer, stronger arm and leg muscles, and so on. Although I was happy with my change...it's almost as if it wasn't enough.

I can't remember where I saw or heard these words, but I'd love to share them. Just know that they're not mine.

In the end, it doesn't matter what your body was like. We all have the same goal: to live life to the fullest and die with no regrets. When we're gone, we aren't remembered by what our bodies looked like, but we're remembered by the things we do and the people we reached out to.

Those words really helped me get through my low self-esteem and is currently still inspiring me everyday.

When you stand in front of the mirror and you start to think about all the things you want, reverse that. 

Start off by saying one thing you love about yourself, whether its body or personality, and build yourself up. Start with one, say another, and another, and another.

If your makeup looks nice on a day, say it to yourself! 
If your hair is how you want it to be, say it!
If your outfit is the nicest thing you'e ever seen, say it!
If you like your eyes, shout it out!
If you love your legs, make sure others know!

It's okay to not be 100% happy with your body right now, but you can build yourself up to that point.

Saying that you like something about yourself, you might not want to come across as vain, but why not? You're loving your body, the only one you will ever get, and I don't think that's a bad thing.

If there is a certain thing you don't like about yourself, there's always a solution. You don't have to think that it's horrible, you can find a solution! Find clothes that flatter your figure, you can dye your hair, you can use nail polish if you don't like your nails, do whatever will make you, and only you happy. Just remember that you don't have to go through drastic measures. 

Now let's say this together:

It's okay to have flaws. I will come to love myself. It might not be soon, but it will happen.

I hope this might of have an impact on you guys as it did for me when I heard those words from before.


One More Girl, no longer online

So Many People, Yet So Alone

In my first blog post One More Blog On The Internet, I said that I deal with my emotions by covering them up and trying to make them end quickly, and that I tried to maintain a diary although it never worked, and I'm writing on my blog in hope to reach out to other people who feel the same way that I do, sometimes.

Today is more of a diary post type of entry.

I do have a few friends at school, but sometimes, I just hate being around them.

I've never been the "go-to friend", meaning that I was always considered as the less relevant friend. If something really cool or exciting happened to one of my friends, I was never/am never the first to know. Usually, I'm the last to be told or informed of something.

If I get to class and put my stuff down on a desk, I, quite often, have my stuff moved to the end of the row of desks or to a completely different row so that my other friends can talk. I'm usually left on the end, not really invited or necessarily wanted in a conversation. Plans that I'm never invited to join are constantly being made in front of me.

I remember back in December, my girl friends made plans to go dress shopping for a school dance, realized I was there and they said they'd text me about it. It got to the next day and I didn't receive anything, so when my best friend that is apart of another group of friends asked me to go to the mall, I didn't hesitant to say yes. I wasn't going to sit around all day for these girls to text me.

We walked right past the girls that originally said that they were going to text me and the only thing they did was give me a small smile, and they kept on walking. Not even a "Hi," or anything. It's not because they didn't want to spend time with the friend that I ended up going with, because at this rate, they talk to her more often then they talk to me.

Some friends, right?

Whenever I try to tell a story, I'm often talked over and then forgotten or just flat out told that no one cares. I make a small joke and they say it was stupid and carry out a different conversation, yet if someone makes the same joke a little later, everyone laughs.

These are the people that I call my friends, yet I wonder if I should associate myself with them at all.

With all of that said, I am a very eccedentesiast person. I fake smiles, I don't let people know that what they say to me or how they treat me hurts me. I always have this small smile on around them that keeps on getting less and less genuine.

There's undoubtedly this feeling of loneliness even though I'm surrounded by all these people.

If anyone can relate to what I said in the slightest, let's do this together.

Let's talk to more people. Let's talk to someone that we feel comfortable around and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and that make us genuinely happy to be around.

If you want to do this but are too scared to leave your "old friends", please remember that they do not own you and you don't own them anything. You can do whatever you'd like to do to make yourself happy.

It would be awesome if someone went out to find someone that makes them happy after reading this post because they got inspired and share a little bit of their story in the comments. That way, it's proof to someone else that it's not only one person feeling this way, and that we can all share stories and help one another. I know that I'll share mine when it happens.

I will say that this was something quite personal for me to write about, so I really do hope that there's something you can take away from this.


One More Girl, no longer online

School And Cameras

I've never been one for being in pictures. I would always try and find a way around it, such as stalling for as long as possible, volunteering to take the picture, anything to avoid being in the picture itself.

I love taking pictures, though. As cheesy as it is, I love the idea of a story, a moment or a memory being captured in a single frame for the rest of eternity. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. It's an amazing thing.

Something that I don't think should be allowed is that teachers at schools have the right to decide to put the "No taking pictures at all" rule aside and make us, the students, film ourselves on iPads to record something for the class even though we clearly don't want to be.

Earlier on during the school year, my math teacher wanted us to film ourselves, and whoever else was in our group, reviewing a subject that we learnt and solving a problem that we made up on our own, related to that problem. She also stated that EVERYONE had to be in the video so that everyone could get marked fairly on it, even if you only see a person for a few seconds. Although she didn't say it,she implied that if you didn't talk in the video, you would lose points,

What happened to the no filming/picture rule? Why can teachers defy it? How did other people like me feel, being forced to partake in a video they don't want anything to do with?

I was lucky enough to have a doctors appointment at the exact date and time that I was supposed to be filming this video in math class, so I was able to avoid it.

Although I knew I could manage to avoid it, the idea still of having to do it still bothered me.

Another thing that my school does, it could be described as an end of the year banquet, where some students are recognized for academic achievements or their impact on a sports team.

For that event, the school wants pictures of every student to put in a PowerPoint slideshow, and I remember that last year, there was a teacher in the doorway that would stop the students that they didn't have pictures of. You had to go through that doorway, because it was the only one that lead to the locker area and all the classrooms. She kept stoping students to get a picture, and yes, I was one of them.

I simply refused to have my picture taken and I walked away to no longer be in the camera shot.

This year, they started doing it sooner, so during the math class before we started to film (the one the day before), my math teacher was going around and taking pictures of all the groups.

Once again, I really didn't want to be in a picture, so I got up and moved to the side wile she took the picture.

Because of that, I got called a buzzkill and boring by a guy that was in my group, and my teacher agreed.

At what point are you allowed to say that to a student who's uncomfortable with you taking a picture of them?

Why do teachers get to break this rule and not respect the decisions and privacy of a student?

It makes them hypocritical.


One More Girl, no longer online