Inappropriate Jokes And Being "Sensitive"

When you're in school, you hear a lot of things. You hear rumours, you hear lies, you hear gossip, but you also hear jokes.

Jokes are great because they can help you make it through a day. If it's a long day in particular, they can lift your spirits up a little bit. There's no harm in having a laugh!

There is a harm, however, in making inappropriate jokes.

Back when I was twelve years old, there was an incident that happened that left me emotionally traumatized. A few years later and I still have trouble talking about it without crying a little bit.

It was a really hard time for me and I feel as though I haven't gotten completely over it.

Fast forward a few years and I've come to accept the fact that it happened and I'm trying to move on from it, but that's definitely easier said then done.

How am I supposed to move on from that bad point in my life if people keep making jokes about it and laughing about it?

I don't talk about what happened at all, so people don't know that I suffer from it, but that doesn't mean they should joke about it anyway!

This is a little worse than I what I experienced, so please don't go off thinking the worse, but did you know that one in every four woman in North America will be sexually assaulted throughout their life?

Did you know that 60% of sexually abused/assaulted people are under the age of 17?

Did you know that 57% of aboriginal women (in Canada) have been sexually abused?

With statistics like those in only one single category, how can you feel good or accomplished about making jokes about rape?

If you're the person feeling offended by the joke, you're left with the choice of telling the people who told the joke to stop because jokes like that aren't funny, or you're left with the choice of sitting back, not saying anything by it while being bothered by the joke.

From personal experience, if you tell people that a joke like that isn't funny and it's wrong, then, from personal experience, you might hear the words "Oh my God, you're so lame," or "What a loser," or what I find to be the worst "God, you're so sensitive."

That's the worse for me because that's a complete lie.

I am not being too sensitive. I am being a person who is trying to avoid a bad time in my life. I am a person trying overcome a traumatizing experience. I am doing what any person would do in that situation and you're mocking me for that and making my emotional recover take longer.

This is an issue that has to be addressed.

I constantly hear people joking about rape, being gay, being assaulted/sexually assaulted, having a mental illness, being suicidal and more.

Jokes like that aren't funny. People are scarred for life from events like that.

Do you have any idea how many people struggle with coming out to their friends and family that they end up not doing it? People have to find their love for another person because they feel as though they won't be accepted by the people in their life.

It isn't fair.

Something that people have to start understanding is:

Rape jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Sexual assault jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Mental illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Physical illness jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Weight jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Self harm jokes aren't funny to everyone.
LGBT jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Race jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Religion jokes aren't funny to everyone.
Suicide jokes aren't funny to everyone.

Any category that are also often jokes about that I missed, I'm truly sorry and feel free to leave it in a comment to remind everyone else that something of that subject should not be joked about.

If you are aware that this is a problem yet you continue to make jokes about those subjects, you're part of the problem.

Then again, what do I know? I don't live your life, you might've been a victim of something traumatizing or part of a social group that's often jokes about, and maybe you joking about it is how you're comforted by it.

It's different for everyone, but you must remember that the people around you might've lived through something awful that you might not know about, and you telling jokes like that could be slowly killing them on the inside.

People go through different experiences in life whether they're good or bad.

Just because they haven't told you about it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened and it doesn't mean that they aren't still affected by it.


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Sometimes We Have To Slow Down

Man, it's March 1st already. It's insane to think that it's the first day of March, yet it's the first day of March.

When I turned on my phone for the day and saw the date, I think that's when it really sunk in as to what the date is. I knew March was coming up today, I knew it was going to be a new month, but I guess that it didn't really sink in until this morning.

That's what inspired me to write this post.

This year, for me at least, already feels as if it's flying by. We've already gone through two whole months of 2015. Normally, I feel as if days drag on, yet so far this year,  they're flying by.

Although the year is passing by quickly, I've constantly been feeling as if I'm drowning in choices, in a pit of despair for school, and in wonder. 

I mentioned before that thinking about the future is our way of escaping the present, yet I still can't manage to stop thinking about it.

Today was a little bit of a wake up call for me, seeing that the first two months seem to have flown by and I can't say that I've really done something that I'm extremely proud of yet. I feel as if I have wasted two months, constantly worrying about what could be.

This is a reminder for me, and anyone else who needs it, that we really do have to slow down at times.

If you're having a family dinner, enjoy it, don't worry about homework, it can wait. 

If you're talking to someone on the phone that you haven't seen or heard from in ages, don't feel bad for asking them so many questions.

If you and you're friends do something stupid, that's okay, you did it together.

As a teenager, I don't tend to do this, but I will start to slow down and enjoy the smaller things I have in my life because in the end, I know that those will count the most.

As an expression I hear a lot around in my school, "Slow down, speed racer."

Life isn't a race, so why do we all treat it like one?

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So Many People, Yet So Alone

In my first blog post One More Blog On The Internet, I said that I deal with my emotions by covering them up and trying to make them end quickly, and that I tried to maintain a diary although it never worked, and I'm writing on my blog in hope to reach out to other people who feel the same way that I do, sometimes.

Today is more of a diary post type of entry.

I do have a few friends at school, but sometimes, I just hate being around them.

I've never been the "go-to friend", meaning that I was always considered as the less relevant friend. If something really cool or exciting happened to one of my friends, I was never/am never the first to know. Usually, I'm the last to be told or informed of something.

If I get to class and put my stuff down on a desk, I, quite often, have my stuff moved to the end of the row of desks or to a completely different row so that my other friends can talk. I'm usually left on the end, not really invited or necessarily wanted in a conversation. Plans that I'm never invited to join are constantly being made in front of me.

I remember back in December, my girl friends made plans to go dress shopping for a school dance, realized I was there and they said they'd text me about it. It got to the next day and I didn't receive anything, so when my best friend that is apart of another group of friends asked me to go to the mall, I didn't hesitant to say yes. I wasn't going to sit around all day for these girls to text me.

We walked right past the girls that originally said that they were going to text me and the only thing they did was give me a small smile, and they kept on walking. Not even a "Hi," or anything. It's not because they didn't want to spend time with the friend that I ended up going with, because at this rate, they talk to her more often then they talk to me.

Some friends, right?

Whenever I try to tell a story, I'm often talked over and then forgotten or just flat out told that no one cares. I make a small joke and they say it was stupid and carry out a different conversation, yet if someone makes the same joke a little later, everyone laughs.

These are the people that I call my friends, yet I wonder if I should associate myself with them at all.

With all of that said, I am a very eccedentesiast person. I fake smiles, I don't let people know that what they say to me or how they treat me hurts me. I always have this small smile on around them that keeps on getting less and less genuine.

There's undoubtedly this feeling of loneliness even though I'm surrounded by all these people.

If anyone can relate to what I said in the slightest, let's do this together.

Let's talk to more people. Let's talk to someone that we feel comfortable around and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and that make us genuinely happy to be around.

If you want to do this but are too scared to leave your "old friends", please remember that they do not own you and you don't own them anything. You can do whatever you'd like to do to make yourself happy.

It would be awesome if someone went out to find someone that makes them happy after reading this post because they got inspired and share a little bit of their story in the comments. That way, it's proof to someone else that it's not only one person feeling this way, and that we can all share stories and help one another. I know that I'll share mine when it happens.

I will say that this was something quite personal for me to write about, so I really do hope that there's something you can take away from this.


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The Old Man And The Bucket

There's a story I heard about a month ago, and it's one that I would love to share with you guys.

*

Long ago, there was this old man that lived far from the nearest village. He would have to walk two hours along a dirt road to get into town and fill his buckets up with water, and then walk two hours back to his house. He brought home the water in two buckets.

One bucket was old and leaked water. The bucket felt bad because every time the old man would arrive home with him, he would be almost empty.

One day, the bucket finally decided to speak up and talk to his owner. "Master," he started with. "Why do you keep me? I am not as useful to the other bucket when it comes to transporting water. By the time we get home, I'm almost empty. I am no longer of any use to you."

The Master looked at the bucket and replied with "Tomorrow when we go to fetch water from the well in the village, I want you to look around you and see what you can."

The bucket agreed, and then next day, they went into town and the same thing happened on the way home. He was almost empty by the time that the other bucket, his Master and himself arrived back at their home. Once again, he felt less then helpful to his Master.

His Master sat down next to him and asked him what he saw. The bucket said "Well I noticed that on my side of the path while walking back from the village, there were many flowers. There were flowers and grass, it looked green and full of life, while on the other side, there was only dirt.

"That's correct," the Master smiled. "Although you see no use in yourself for transporting water, you were more than useful when it came to helping the flowers grow. Because you leaked over the dirt, you helped the flowers and the grass grow from the dirt. Although you are almost empty every time we arrive home, you helped to create something beautiful without knowing it. The other bucket couldn't have done it, it was only you that made the path beautiful. Because of you, we no longer see a boring dirt path, we see something wonderful."

*

Although you feel like you're not doing anything good, or that you're wasting time doing something,you never truly know how much of an impact it can have on something or someone else. It's important to remember that although you may not be the best at something or feel like you're making an impact, you could be.

You could be helping to create something beautiful.


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School And Cameras

I've never been one for being in pictures. I would always try and find a way around it, such as stalling for as long as possible, volunteering to take the picture, anything to avoid being in the picture itself.

I love taking pictures, though. As cheesy as it is, I love the idea of a story, a moment or a memory being captured in a single frame for the rest of eternity. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. It's an amazing thing.

Something that I don't think should be allowed is that teachers at schools have the right to decide to put the "No taking pictures at all" rule aside and make us, the students, film ourselves on iPads to record something for the class even though we clearly don't want to be.

Earlier on during the school year, my math teacher wanted us to film ourselves, and whoever else was in our group, reviewing a subject that we learnt and solving a problem that we made up on our own, related to that problem. She also stated that EVERYONE had to be in the video so that everyone could get marked fairly on it, even if you only see a person for a few seconds. Although she didn't say it,she implied that if you didn't talk in the video, you would lose points,

What happened to the no filming/picture rule? Why can teachers defy it? How did other people like me feel, being forced to partake in a video they don't want anything to do with?

I was lucky enough to have a doctors appointment at the exact date and time that I was supposed to be filming this video in math class, so I was able to avoid it.

Although I knew I could manage to avoid it, the idea still of having to do it still bothered me.

Another thing that my school does, it could be described as an end of the year banquet, where some students are recognized for academic achievements or their impact on a sports team.

For that event, the school wants pictures of every student to put in a PowerPoint slideshow, and I remember that last year, there was a teacher in the doorway that would stop the students that they didn't have pictures of. You had to go through that doorway, because it was the only one that lead to the locker area and all the classrooms. She kept stoping students to get a picture, and yes, I was one of them.

I simply refused to have my picture taken and I walked away to no longer be in the camera shot.

This year, they started doing it sooner, so during the math class before we started to film (the one the day before), my math teacher was going around and taking pictures of all the groups.

Once again, I really didn't want to be in a picture, so I got up and moved to the side wile she took the picture.

Because of that, I got called a buzzkill and boring by a guy that was in my group, and my teacher agreed.

At what point are you allowed to say that to a student who's uncomfortable with you taking a picture of them?

Why do teachers get to break this rule and not respect the decisions and privacy of a student?

It makes them hypocritical.


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The Perfect Text

Do you ever send a text to someone, most times a friend, and the minute that you hit the send button, you're already imagining what the other person might respond with or what you hope that they'll reply with?

A few days ago, I had one of my few good friends text me and asking why I wasn't in school, to which I replied saying that I was sick.

I could already imagine the possibilities of what he could text back. I was picturing it saying "Oh man, how are you doing?" or "What are you sick with?" or anything along those lines of asking how I was doing, but in reality, all I got was a "That sucks."

I can't say that I was over the moon to read that text, but what could I have done? He cared enough to ask, and that was already sweet of him.

When you're talking to someone through a screen, they can't see you, can't see how you look, let alone see how you react to a certain text. Even in person, they can't climb into your head and see the perfect response that you could be picturing in your mind.

I do feel, to an extent, that I'm more confident over text for those exact same reasons. You don't have to see the person while texting them a specific thing, you don't have to see their reaction, you can easily stop talking to them if things go wrong, it could be a little easier to open up to a person under those circumstances.

There's a very slim chance of you receiving the perfect text that you could be imagining, but does that mean it's bad to think about it? Are you just setting yourself up for disappointment? Can you get a text better then what you've imagined?

There's always a chance that you might get the text that you've always wanted to read. It could be a small serendipity, who knows?

I just know that I'm still waiting for mine to happen.


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Fiction Is A Drug

I have this problem where I get so engrossed with the fictional world, that I forget my responsibilities of the real world.

Over my winter break (which today, is sadly the last day of before going off to school tomorrow), I've read some books and I've watched quite a few movies, which were all fictional.

I watched almost all of the Harry Potter movies, some Marvel movies, the new Night at the Museum movie, along with a few others. Literature wise, I mostly read parts of Looking For Alaska by John Green.

Having been surrounded by all this fiction over a span of two weeks, it made me feel…like I’m not living my life to the fullest in a certain type of way.

Knowing I couldn't survive in a dystopian universe, I can’t help but feel like I’d have a higher purpose than sitting at school for at least 17 years of my life, and then having a job that I’m not completely in love with.

In a world like Harry Potter’s or The Avengers, sure there’s a lot of danger, but wouldn't it be so much better than our normal lives?

Even reading a book written by John Green; they aren't considered violent, but to slip into a story that he writes, it would be amazing to have a love story like that. Even to witness two people in love with so much passion as he writes the characters to have, it would be an amazing sight.

I find that fiction is one of the cruelest drugs out there because it takes you from the real world. It makes our universe look like nothing compared to what different universes that we see or watch that’s all created from someone’s imagination.

Sure it’s fun to get away from the real world at times, but all things must come to an end. There’s going to be a final war, a final “I love you,” and a final goodbye. After it ends, people have to stop thinking about how that period of their life is over and how their lives suck compared to what they witnessed, and start thinking about how the universe we’re stuck in is actually alright. There’s no reason as to why we can’t make ourselves who we want to be.

We should all do whatever we want with our lives, we shouldn't have anyone telling us to do! Fiction is just the greatest, and possibly the fastest, way to escape our world for when it gets too much, or when it’s not good enough.

Let me know what you guys think and maybe we can share dystopian universes that we probably couldn't survive in, but still want to live in anyway.

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One More Blog On The Internet

I've been internally debating whether I wanted to start this blog or not for ages.

Why, you might be asking yourself?

Do you ever get the feeling when you have so many emotions and thoughts boiling up inside you that if one more problem is added on, you’ll be like one of those kettles with the steam pouring and screeching out the sides? But once the screeching starts, you try to be fast to make it stop? That’s how I deal with a lot of things, I try to cover it up and end it quickly.

You all might be thinking “Why don’t you just have a diary? Why do you want to post all of this on the internet forever?”

I did once try to maintain a diary, but it never worked. It would always be about pointless events that happened in my day. Not anything from the way I truly felt, in worry that my family might find it and read it.

I feel as though if I started this blog, I would have motivation to write, knowing that someone might be reading this and being able to read what I write.

This is why my blog will forever be anonymous.

I won’t have to worry about who’s reading this-whether its family or friends, and I have complete freedom to write about whatever comes to mind and how I truly think about certain things.

I really hope that I can write about something that other teenagers like me could relate to. A place where we can all take off the masks we wear and are able to be ourselves, a blog where someone can learn something, where I can help other people, and where I can maybe inspire people.

But if that never happens, it doesn't matter. I’m just one more girl online.

I hope this was an alright introduction for my blog. Thanks for reading and I also hope that some of you are interested in what I might have to say later on.

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