Today's been a pretty special day seeing as it's my parents 20th wedding anniversary.
Although they both had their own things to do today -my dad had to work and my mom was out helping my grandmother- they were going out to dinner together.
I wasn't expecting my dad to open the door to our basement when he got home from work and yell down to ask me where I wanted to go for supper.
It's their anniversary, not mine! They should've gone out just the two of them for a date night like I originally thought that they were going to do.
I thought that it would be only the three of us because my sister often goes out with her friends after work and my parents and I have gone out without her on many occasions, but my parents said that we were going to wait for my sister to get home because she would be coming out with us.
My sister and I never really get on that well.
Sure, we have our sister moments where everything is fine, we get along and talk to each other, but most of the time we stay clear from each other or argue.
Definitely when we're out in public, when know when to draw the line, so usually we don't really talk to each other then either.
Today though, we put our differences aside for our parents.
It wasn't something that we discussed and agreed on, but it was something that we knew needed to happen.
Admittedly, we put our parents under a lot of stress with all of our jobs, last minute plans, arguments, etc., so we had to do something nice for them, especially today.
In the end, family is something bigger than us and sometimes you'll have to make small sacrifices to make other family members happy. Sometimes you'll have to make compromises on something that you're not all that happy about for a better end result.
We can't pick the family that we have, so you learn quickly that family can be about compromises and sacrifices for others because family is there to stay whether you like it or not. It doesn't have to be about parents and siblings alone, it could be about aunts, uncles, cousins or anyone that you define as family.
Overall, happy 20th anniversary mom and dad, I love you guys.
One More Girl, no longer online
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Monday, 22 June 2015
Fear And Regret
Admittedly, I didn't write a post yesterday like I usually do. I don't have any reason as to why other than the fact that I didn't really know what to write about.
There hasn't been anything extraordinarily different in my life to write about, and I was at a lack of inspiration for a post.
I went to bed slightly frustrated with myself that I couldn't think of something to write about, but I realized that you can't set a fixed time for inspiration for something. If you do, it probably won't turn out the way you want it to, so it's okay to wait for that inspiration to hit.
My inspiration for this post hit me today when I was texting a friend and he was telling me that he was nervous and scared to go to a camp that goes for a few weeks and that's a 15 hour drive away/2 hour flight away from home.
I could understand why he would be scared and nervous; he's going alone, there's no one that he already knows going with him. If I were in his shoes, I would be terrified to do it. He's quite courageous to be doing it, honestly.
Having been in that situation myself with a different scenario, I told him what I thought.
I told him that being nervous and scared to go is normal, who wouldn't feel that way? I said that he would certainly make friends. He was still a little hesitant, saying that he supposed that that was true.
Finally, I told him something that helped me figure things out for myself.
I told him that he'd regret if it he didn't go.
Yes, he would be home with the people that he knows, he would be with friends, but he would always wonder what would happen if he didn't go.
While texting I said "You might be scared now, yes, but will you regret not going because fear is holding you back? Probably," and he agreed.
He said that he would regret it and told me that that's a good way of thinking about things.
I gave the advice that I was too scared to follow myself, so I changed that.
As some of you may know, I've had a choice to make: to stay at my current school which is French or change to the local English High School.
Although the English school seemed like the better choice, I was terrified to make the official decision, terrified to regret it. After thinking about it, I realize that I will most likely regret the choice I never took.
I don't want to live my life that way.
I don't want to regret anything, I want to try everything. Not everything is my cup of tea, I realize that, but how can I find that perfect brew if I never try it? Sure I might have some unpleasant tea at times, but that's how you find the perfect brew.
I decided to follow my own advice and I'm going to the local English high school.
Fear is associated with regret, the go hand in hand, you'll feel one or the other at times.
Just because you fear something though, doesn't mean you regret it.
Don't hold back on something because you're scared of regret. If you don't try it, you'll regret that too. Might as well try something and know that you regretted it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
Things We Need To Tell Ourselves More Often
As humans, we need feedback to learn. No matter what the case is; whether it's in sports performances or work performances, we need someone to give us constructive criticism to improve in whatever field we're performing in.
Usually, you won't hear negative feedback. People tend to only give you criticism on a specific field when they want to help you improve. They care about you and they want to make sure that you reach your full potential. When they give you constructive criticism, it's a good thing. They'll highlight something that you are doing well and remind you to do something specific to help you reach your full potential. They tell you how to improve something to build you up, not tear you down.
Constructive criticism is a great thing, yet it's not always constructive/positive.
We usually go to get constructive criticism from someone who is in a higher rank than ourselves, so for an example as a sports player, I'll look for feedback from my coach. As a new employee, I'll look for feedback from someone who's been working there longer than I have or even my manager.
Although getting feedback from someone else, I find that no one is harder on ourselves then us ourselves.
People tend to be hard on themselves for different reasons.
Some might do it because they didn't feel loved/praised enough. If their parents would brush off ever accomplishment that they did, they would work hard and criticism themselves to make everything perfect just to hear the praise that they deserve.
They might feel as though they haven't accomplished anything great in their life and will work and criticism themselves until they feel as though they've done something great.
They could be hard on themselves because they feel useless or have been wrongfully led to think so. They don't feel happy with anything that they've done so they criticism themselves harshly until they feel successful enough.
After thinking about that for a little bit today I realize that they're so many things that people should hear every once in awhile, or even everyday, that they don't often hear.
Here are a few things we need to tell ourselves more:
1) Things don't change overnight.
Whether you're trying to change the way you do something sports related (for say, changing your technique on mechanics) or change the way you look to be happier with your body, that change will come. Changing things takes time and that's often something we forget. It's okay to get frustrated every once and awhile, but we must remember that things change a different rates, so do not feel bad if you can't accomplish something for a set date. If you happen to miss your goal by a set date, that's okay! You're human! Set a new date and work towards that goal instead of getting yourself down and beating yourself up.
2) Everyone makes mistakes, I'm not the only one.
Some people feel as though that as soon as they make a mistake, they're suddenly pathetic.
That's not the case.
As much as you probably don't believe it or as much as you doubt it, everyone makes mistakes. Our friends, parents, teachers, role models, strangers that you see on the streets, everyone. Everyone makes mistakes. It's possible to make a mistake on a basic math question, but hey! That happens! Mistakes happen and you learn from them. They aren't the end of the world; if anything, they make us more determined to do better. They shouldn't eat at you until you tear yourself apart.
3) I can't control this, so I'll work with it.
If there's somewhere you need to be at a set time, yet you're stuck in traffic, there's no point in worrying and stressing over it. Traffic is something out of your control, it's not your fault, so don't make yourself believe that it is. I know people (including myself) who will stress over things out of their control. In situations where you don't have control, work with what's given to you. If you're getting sick and can't risk missing school, go see your teachers and see what you can bring home to stay up to date or go to the store to get things that will make you feel better. You can't avoid getting sick, so do something that will help you during that time.
Those are my three tips for today, maybe I'll make another post like this later on and remind you of three more things that we have to tell ourselves more often.
Something that I want to add in and tell you in case you haven't heard it recently is that I'm proud of you.
Everyone here has gotten to this time of their life in different ways and have had their own challenges. No matter how big or small they are, challenges are challenges and congratulations for surpassing them. I know that sometimes it's hard to do and I'm proud of you for getting here.
One More Girl, no longer online
Usually, you won't hear negative feedback. People tend to only give you criticism on a specific field when they want to help you improve. They care about you and they want to make sure that you reach your full potential. When they give you constructive criticism, it's a good thing. They'll highlight something that you are doing well and remind you to do something specific to help you reach your full potential. They tell you how to improve something to build you up, not tear you down.
Constructive criticism is a great thing, yet it's not always constructive/positive.
We usually go to get constructive criticism from someone who is in a higher rank than ourselves, so for an example as a sports player, I'll look for feedback from my coach. As a new employee, I'll look for feedback from someone who's been working there longer than I have or even my manager.
Although getting feedback from someone else, I find that no one is harder on ourselves then us ourselves.
People tend to be hard on themselves for different reasons.
Some might do it because they didn't feel loved/praised enough. If their parents would brush off ever accomplishment that they did, they would work hard and criticism themselves to make everything perfect just to hear the praise that they deserve.
They might feel as though they haven't accomplished anything great in their life and will work and criticism themselves until they feel as though they've done something great.
They could be hard on themselves because they feel useless or have been wrongfully led to think so. They don't feel happy with anything that they've done so they criticism themselves harshly until they feel successful enough.
After thinking about that for a little bit today I realize that they're so many things that people should hear every once in awhile, or even everyday, that they don't often hear.
Here are a few things we need to tell ourselves more:
1) Things don't change overnight.
Whether you're trying to change the way you do something sports related (for say, changing your technique on mechanics) or change the way you look to be happier with your body, that change will come. Changing things takes time and that's often something we forget. It's okay to get frustrated every once and awhile, but we must remember that things change a different rates, so do not feel bad if you can't accomplish something for a set date. If you happen to miss your goal by a set date, that's okay! You're human! Set a new date and work towards that goal instead of getting yourself down and beating yourself up.
2) Everyone makes mistakes, I'm not the only one.
Some people feel as though that as soon as they make a mistake, they're suddenly pathetic.
That's not the case.
As much as you probably don't believe it or as much as you doubt it, everyone makes mistakes. Our friends, parents, teachers, role models, strangers that you see on the streets, everyone. Everyone makes mistakes. It's possible to make a mistake on a basic math question, but hey! That happens! Mistakes happen and you learn from them. They aren't the end of the world; if anything, they make us more determined to do better. They shouldn't eat at you until you tear yourself apart.
3) I can't control this, so I'll work with it.
If there's somewhere you need to be at a set time, yet you're stuck in traffic, there's no point in worrying and stressing over it. Traffic is something out of your control, it's not your fault, so don't make yourself believe that it is. I know people (including myself) who will stress over things out of their control. In situations where you don't have control, work with what's given to you. If you're getting sick and can't risk missing school, go see your teachers and see what you can bring home to stay up to date or go to the store to get things that will make you feel better. You can't avoid getting sick, so do something that will help you during that time.
Those are my three tips for today, maybe I'll make another post like this later on and remind you of three more things that we have to tell ourselves more often.
Something that I want to add in and tell you in case you haven't heard it recently is that I'm proud of you.
Everyone here has gotten to this time of their life in different ways and have had their own challenges. No matter how big or small they are, challenges are challenges and congratulations for surpassing them. I know that sometimes it's hard to do and I'm proud of you for getting here.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 3 May 2015
Messages In Different Formats
Over centuries, messages have been delivered in many different formats.
Messages can be expressed in the form of music, art, quotes, rallies/protest, letters, stories, facial expression, photos and poetry.
There's so many ways to get one message across...it's amazing if you think about it.
Personally, music is a big one for me because you can interpret the message from the lyrics and also the instrumental music. With some songs, it can be sad lyrics yet an upbeat tempo and I find that the message getting across is that someone can be feeling the most intense pain ever, but they always try to cover it up by being happy or not drawing attention to it.
With art, people love that because there's the artist intentions of the message and then the viewers interruption of the message.
It's the same for photos, really. Maybe my reason for taking the photo is different than what you think was my reason to.
Whenever getting a message across had to do with words on a page, so letters, quotes or stories, there's always the literal message and then the message you read in between the lines.
I've never been great a deciphering the messages in poetry. I know that there's always a second meaning to every poem, but I focus more on the one right in front of me.
When I hear or read the poem for the first time, I really do understand the literal meaning of the message, but it will take me a few times to understand the hidden message.
That's why I like direct poems.
I love poems where I don't have to figure out the message. I love poems that when I hear or read it once, I can't stop thinking about it, it's running through my mind for the rest of the day.
There's this one poem I heard awhile ago and ever since then, I've probably listened to it once each day.
The poem is called 21 by Patrick Roche.
It's the poem about how having an alcoholic family member has affected the different years of his life. More so, what he remembers what happened during different years of his life.
We hear stories about people being alcoholics and how families are negatively affected, yet we never quite understand to what extent the family members are affected in bad cases.
When I heard this poem for the first time, my stomach dropped.
I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
I can't say that because I heard this poem, I know what his experience was like because in all reality, I don't. What I got out of the poem is what it's really like for them, how bad a relapse affects everyone.
When you read something yourself, you can picture it in your mind, but it's also easier to forget.
When you hear someone else read what they wrote or tell a story of their own experience, you can feel the emotions that they felt. They have passion and truth behind each word that they say. You can't forget their words, no matter what.
So to leave you guys, here's the video of the poem that I watched. If you've watched it already, let me know what you thought of it! If you've never watched it before, please take a minute to watch it, I promise that it's worth it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Messages can be expressed in the form of music, art, quotes, rallies/protest, letters, stories, facial expression, photos and poetry.
There's so many ways to get one message across...it's amazing if you think about it.
Personally, music is a big one for me because you can interpret the message from the lyrics and also the instrumental music. With some songs, it can be sad lyrics yet an upbeat tempo and I find that the message getting across is that someone can be feeling the most intense pain ever, but they always try to cover it up by being happy or not drawing attention to it.
With art, people love that because there's the artist intentions of the message and then the viewers interruption of the message.
It's the same for photos, really. Maybe my reason for taking the photo is different than what you think was my reason to.
Whenever getting a message across had to do with words on a page, so letters, quotes or stories, there's always the literal message and then the message you read in between the lines.
I've never been great a deciphering the messages in poetry. I know that there's always a second meaning to every poem, but I focus more on the one right in front of me.
When I hear or read the poem for the first time, I really do understand the literal meaning of the message, but it will take me a few times to understand the hidden message.
That's why I like direct poems.
I love poems where I don't have to figure out the message. I love poems that when I hear or read it once, I can't stop thinking about it, it's running through my mind for the rest of the day.
There's this one poem I heard awhile ago and ever since then, I've probably listened to it once each day.
The poem is called 21 by Patrick Roche.
It's the poem about how having an alcoholic family member has affected the different years of his life. More so, what he remembers what happened during different years of his life.
We hear stories about people being alcoholics and how families are negatively affected, yet we never quite understand to what extent the family members are affected in bad cases.
When I heard this poem for the first time, my stomach dropped.
I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
I can't say that because I heard this poem, I know what his experience was like because in all reality, I don't. What I got out of the poem is what it's really like for them, how bad a relapse affects everyone.
When you read something yourself, you can picture it in your mind, but it's also easier to forget.
When you hear someone else read what they wrote or tell a story of their own experience, you can feel the emotions that they felt. They have passion and truth behind each word that they say. You can't forget their words, no matter what.
So to leave you guys, here's the video of the poem that I watched. If you've watched it already, let me know what you thought of it! If you've never watched it before, please take a minute to watch it, I promise that it's worth it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 11 March 2015
Bumps In The Road
This afternoon, I went to the doctors and I heard the words that I was terrified to hear, yet deep down, I knew that they were coming.
At the moment, I'm still having trouble processing it all, so I don't feel up to opening about all of that quite yet, but maybe a little later on in the future I'll be open to talking about it.
Tonight's post is going to be a short one that's going to be a reminder for myself in the future, and maybe it could be one for you right now.
They say that life's a journey and you never know what to expect on that journey, and I learnt a little more about that with today.
For a journey, I assume that you need some sort of transport and grounds to get across.
For me, I see life as a dirt road.
It's a dirt road because some parts are as smooth as ever, others are a little patchy yet still manageable, and others are extremely rough, not necessarily in that order and on a constant loop.
I'm currently in the extremely rough part of that long dirt road, and all I can say for anyone else that might also be on that part of the road is that it may not look like it, but there will be a smooth part coming up.
Trust me, I know what it's like to see a rough part of the road for ages, but everything comes to an end at some point, right? No, sadly I can't say whether that the smooth part is coming up in a few minutes or in a few days, I can't tell you when it is, but I can promise that it's waiting to greet you.
Although you may feel terribly alone right now or when you but that rough part, you're not alone. That's probably the hardest, yet most important thing to remember. You're not alone, there's always help somewhere and there's always someone looking to support you.
Even if you don't believe it, I'm supporting you. I'm rooting for you to find that smooth part of the road.
I don't know what your current life situation is. I don't know if it might be a little rocky or if it's a smooth ride for awhile, but there's always going to be bumps in the road and you don't have to let it become a mountain for you.
Whatever you have to do, slow it down. There's no point in blowing a tire or damaging your car while trying to speed over the bumps.
What I want for anyone who reads this to take from it is that things do get better, and there's always someone cheering you on, even if you don't see them.
One More Girl, no longer online
At the moment, I'm still having trouble processing it all, so I don't feel up to opening about all of that quite yet, but maybe a little later on in the future I'll be open to talking about it.
Tonight's post is going to be a short one that's going to be a reminder for myself in the future, and maybe it could be one for you right now.
They say that life's a journey and you never know what to expect on that journey, and I learnt a little more about that with today.
For a journey, I assume that you need some sort of transport and grounds to get across.
For me, I see life as a dirt road.
It's a dirt road because some parts are as smooth as ever, others are a little patchy yet still manageable, and others are extremely rough, not necessarily in that order and on a constant loop.
I'm currently in the extremely rough part of that long dirt road, and all I can say for anyone else that might also be on that part of the road is that it may not look like it, but there will be a smooth part coming up.
Trust me, I know what it's like to see a rough part of the road for ages, but everything comes to an end at some point, right? No, sadly I can't say whether that the smooth part is coming up in a few minutes or in a few days, I can't tell you when it is, but I can promise that it's waiting to greet you.
Although you may feel terribly alone right now or when you but that rough part, you're not alone. That's probably the hardest, yet most important thing to remember. You're not alone, there's always help somewhere and there's always someone looking to support you.
Even if you don't believe it, I'm supporting you. I'm rooting for you to find that smooth part of the road.
I don't know what your current life situation is. I don't know if it might be a little rocky or if it's a smooth ride for awhile, but there's always going to be bumps in the road and you don't have to let it become a mountain for you.
Whatever you have to do, slow it down. There's no point in blowing a tire or damaging your car while trying to speed over the bumps.
What I want for anyone who reads this to take from it is that things do get better, and there's always someone cheering you on, even if you don't see them.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 4 March 2015
Freedom Of Speech...Oh, You're Not Listening
Something that feels as if it's been happening often to me these past few weeks is that I'm constantly being cut off and interrupted.
I understand if I'm in a debate type of conversation and the other person jumps in when I'm trying to explain something and they challenge what I'm saying, I don't mind that if it's reasonable. The thing I really hate it when I'm constantly being cut off so that someone can start to talk about something completely different as to what I was talking about in the first place.
It makes me feel as if what I have to say isn't all that important and that it makes me think that you believe your opinions are simply better than mine. Opinions are the matter of one's personal thoughts, there really can't be a right or wrong one.
For me, this seem to happen a lot a school and also at home.
At school, I'm partnered with three other girls for a project. Two are best friends while the other seems to never be with the group. Whenever one of the best friends ask me something, I'll start to reply but the other one will cut me off and say "Oh my God, do you know the funny thing that I just thought of?" and then go off in a story to which I know nothing about and I'm left as the third wheel again.
Don't get me wrong, these girls are lovely, it's just hard to work in the same group as best friends.
It also happens with family sometimes. I'll be in the middle of talking when I'm either cut of so that the other person can talk, or I realize that they really don't care for what I have to say.
That's one of the worst feelings, really. To talk about something you're passionate about while no one can bother to listen.
If you're someone who tends to cut people off, I can understand if you do it at an appropriate time while being on the same subject, but if you jump to something completely different, please let the person talking finish. We all hate that feeling, so why let it happen to someone else?
If you're like me and constantly being interrupted, remember to hold your head high. It's their lost if they don't hear the end of the funny story as to what your dog did the other day. Although you might feel as though no one cares and that things would be better if you stay quiet, it won't be. If you're fed up with this (also like me), why not say "I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I wasn't finished saying what I had to say. Do you mind if I say the last little bit? I'd love to hear what you have to say after, though,"? You are politely letting the person know that you still have more to say and I think that's reasonable!
You have a voice and you shouldn't be afraid to use it.
One More Girl, no longer online
I understand if I'm in a debate type of conversation and the other person jumps in when I'm trying to explain something and they challenge what I'm saying, I don't mind that if it's reasonable. The thing I really hate it when I'm constantly being cut off so that someone can start to talk about something completely different as to what I was talking about in the first place.
It makes me feel as if what I have to say isn't all that important and that it makes me think that you believe your opinions are simply better than mine. Opinions are the matter of one's personal thoughts, there really can't be a right or wrong one.
For me, this seem to happen a lot a school and also at home.
At school, I'm partnered with three other girls for a project. Two are best friends while the other seems to never be with the group. Whenever one of the best friends ask me something, I'll start to reply but the other one will cut me off and say "Oh my God, do you know the funny thing that I just thought of?" and then go off in a story to which I know nothing about and I'm left as the third wheel again.
Don't get me wrong, these girls are lovely, it's just hard to work in the same group as best friends.
It also happens with family sometimes. I'll be in the middle of talking when I'm either cut of so that the other person can talk, or I realize that they really don't care for what I have to say.
That's one of the worst feelings, really. To talk about something you're passionate about while no one can bother to listen.
If you're someone who tends to cut people off, I can understand if you do it at an appropriate time while being on the same subject, but if you jump to something completely different, please let the person talking finish. We all hate that feeling, so why let it happen to someone else?
If you're like me and constantly being interrupted, remember to hold your head high. It's their lost if they don't hear the end of the funny story as to what your dog did the other day. Although you might feel as though no one cares and that things would be better if you stay quiet, it won't be. If you're fed up with this (also like me), why not say "I'm sorry for interrupting you, but I wasn't finished saying what I had to say. Do you mind if I say the last little bit? I'd love to hear what you have to say after, though,"? You are politely letting the person know that you still have more to say and I think that's reasonable!
You have a voice and you shouldn't be afraid to use it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 1 March 2015
Sometimes We Have To Slow Down
Man, it's March 1st already. It's insane to think that it's the first day of March, yet it's the first day of March.
When I turned on my phone for the day and saw the date, I think that's when it really sunk in as to what the date is. I knew March was coming up today, I knew it was going to be a new month, but I guess that it didn't really sink in until this morning.
That's what inspired me to write this post.
This year, for me at least, already feels as if it's flying by. We've already gone through two whole months of 2015. Normally, I feel as if days drag on, yet so far this year, they're flying by.
Although the year is passing by quickly, I've constantly been feeling as if I'm drowning in choices, in a pit of despair for school, and in wonder.
I mentioned before that thinking about the future is our way of escaping the present, yet I still can't manage to stop thinking about it.
Today was a little bit of a wake up call for me, seeing that the first two months seem to have flown by and I can't say that I've really done something that I'm extremely proud of yet. I feel as if I have wasted two months, constantly worrying about what could be.
This is a reminder for me, and anyone else who needs it, that we really do have to slow down at times.
If you're having a family dinner, enjoy it, don't worry about homework, it can wait.
If you're talking to someone on the phone that you haven't seen or heard from in ages, don't feel bad for asking them so many questions.
If you and you're friends do something stupid, that's okay, you did it together.
As a teenager, I don't tend to do this, but I will start to slow down and enjoy the smaller things I have in my life because in the end, I know that those will count the most.
As an expression I hear a lot around in my school, "Slow down, speed racer."
Life isn't a race, so why do we all treat it like one?
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 8 February 2015
Don't Let Go of Love
Being on a sports' team, something you usually have to do is a fundraiser.
My team was selling raffle tickets over the weekend to win the prize of a one night stay at a hotel and a 100$ gift card to a fancy restaurant in the local area, and the draw for the prize will take place on February 13th, the day before Valentines Day.
During my shift yesterday, an elderly man came by to buy some tickets. He asked what the draw and everything was about, who he was supporting, what the prize was, and all of that typical stuff you expect to hear while trying to sell/raise money for something. At the end of it, I added "Draw date is February 13th, so it's right on time for Valentine's Day!"
He looked me in the eyes with a sad look upon his face and said "Well I lost the love of my life to ovarian cancer back in 1986 (I think that was the year he said, I can't remember that exactly). I did however find someone new, but it's not the same, you know? She's like a best friend to me, and I know that it's someone that she (referring to the love of his life that he lost) would've liked to known her."
I was speechless.
I have lost family members, yes, but to lose the love of your life, your soulmate, your other half, I couldn't imagine what that would be like.
In Greek mythology, it's believed that humans used to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two noses, basically double of everything. Zeus was afraid that someday, the humans would be capable of overthrowing the Gods, so he split them all in half, resulting in one half to search for the other. To find their soulmate.
After all of that looking, this man found his other half, was ready to spend the rest of his life with her, but cancer ripped that away from him.
This was just another eye opener for me.
When I lost my grandfather on September 1st 2014, that was hard for me.
I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't know when it was appropriate for me to cry, I didn't know what to do with all of the memories I have of him because I was afraid to lose them, and finally, I didn't know who to talk to about all of this.
"You can't close anyone out now...If anything this is the time to be close with your family. You need them and they need you. Having someone pass in your family shows you that you have to spend time with them and cherish it. You don't know how long the moment will last," is something that one of my friends told me when I confided in them how I felt, and I don't think that statement could be any truer.
Those two events taught me something.
If you love someone, whether its a family member, a friend, a lover or a role model in your life, make sure you tell them how much you appreciate them or that you love them. You have to hold onto the love you have now, because you never know when it's going to be ripped away from you, or when you might feel those feelings again.
If you have a crush on someone or you have a strong feeling for them, don't play hard to get. Maybe someday, you will just be too hard to get that the person that's chasing after will let you go.
If you have someone that loves you, I am begging you, grab onto that love with both hands and hold on. Hold on to it for as long as you can and don't ever let it go. Don't let it slip away, because hell, someday it might.
Love is such an amazing thing that we really do take for granted nowadays, but that elderly man with his story was a reminder to me to never let go of love, and I hope you take this post as a reminder.
If you're looking for a reason to tell someone you like them, call up your crush, tell your best friend how you truly feel about them...this is it.
Don't take love for granted because now, it's a rare thing, so don't let go of the people you love.
One More Girl, no longer online
My team was selling raffle tickets over the weekend to win the prize of a one night stay at a hotel and a 100$ gift card to a fancy restaurant in the local area, and the draw for the prize will take place on February 13th, the day before Valentines Day.
During my shift yesterday, an elderly man came by to buy some tickets. He asked what the draw and everything was about, who he was supporting, what the prize was, and all of that typical stuff you expect to hear while trying to sell/raise money for something. At the end of it, I added "Draw date is February 13th, so it's right on time for Valentine's Day!"
He looked me in the eyes with a sad look upon his face and said "Well I lost the love of my life to ovarian cancer back in 1986 (I think that was the year he said, I can't remember that exactly). I did however find someone new, but it's not the same, you know? She's like a best friend to me, and I know that it's someone that she (referring to the love of his life that he lost) would've liked to known her."
I was speechless.
I have lost family members, yes, but to lose the love of your life, your soulmate, your other half, I couldn't imagine what that would be like.
In Greek mythology, it's believed that humans used to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two noses, basically double of everything. Zeus was afraid that someday, the humans would be capable of overthrowing the Gods, so he split them all in half, resulting in one half to search for the other. To find their soulmate.
After all of that looking, this man found his other half, was ready to spend the rest of his life with her, but cancer ripped that away from him.
This was just another eye opener for me.
When I lost my grandfather on September 1st 2014, that was hard for me.
I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't know when it was appropriate for me to cry, I didn't know what to do with all of the memories I have of him because I was afraid to lose them, and finally, I didn't know who to talk to about all of this.
"You can't close anyone out now...If anything this is the time to be close with your family. You need them and they need you. Having someone pass in your family shows you that you have to spend time with them and cherish it. You don't know how long the moment will last," is something that one of my friends told me when I confided in them how I felt, and I don't think that statement could be any truer.
Those two events taught me something.
If you love someone, whether its a family member, a friend, a lover or a role model in your life, make sure you tell them how much you appreciate them or that you love them. You have to hold onto the love you have now, because you never know when it's going to be ripped away from you, or when you might feel those feelings again.
If you have a crush on someone or you have a strong feeling for them, don't play hard to get. Maybe someday, you will just be too hard to get that the person that's chasing after will let you go.
If you have someone that loves you, I am begging you, grab onto that love with both hands and hold on. Hold on to it for as long as you can and don't ever let it go. Don't let it slip away, because hell, someday it might.
Love is such an amazing thing that we really do take for granted nowadays, but that elderly man with his story was a reminder to me to never let go of love, and I hope you take this post as a reminder.
If you're looking for a reason to tell someone you like them, call up your crush, tell your best friend how you truly feel about them...this is it.
Don't take love for granted because now, it's a rare thing, so don't let go of the people you love.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 25 January 2015
So Many People, Yet So Alone
In my first blog post One More Blog On The Internet, I said that I deal with my emotions by covering them up and trying to make them end quickly, and that I tried to maintain a diary although it never worked, and I'm writing on my blog in hope to reach out to other people who feel the same way that I do, sometimes.
Today is more of a diary post type of entry.
I do have a few friends at school, but sometimes, I just hate being around them.
I've never been the "go-to friend", meaning that I was always considered as the less relevant friend. If something really cool or exciting happened to one of my friends, I was never/am never the first to know. Usually, I'm the last to be told or informed of something.
If I get to class and put my stuff down on a desk, I, quite often, have my stuff moved to the end of the row of desks or to a completely different row so that my other friends can talk. I'm usually left on the end, not really invited or necessarily wanted in a conversation. Plans that I'm never invited to join are constantly being made in front of me.
I remember back in December, my girl friends made plans to go dress shopping for a school dance, realized I was there and they said they'd text me about it. It got to the next day and I didn't receive anything, so when my best friend that is apart of another group of friends asked me to go to the mall, I didn't hesitant to say yes. I wasn't going to sit around all day for these girls to text me.
We walked right past the girls that originally said that they were going to text me and the only thing they did was give me a small smile, and they kept on walking. Not even a "Hi," or anything. It's not because they didn't want to spend time with the friend that I ended up going with, because at this rate, they talk to her more often then they talk to me.
Some friends, right?
Whenever I try to tell a story, I'm often talked over and then forgotten or just flat out told that no one cares. I make a small joke and they say it was stupid and carry out a different conversation, yet if someone makes the same joke a little later, everyone laughs.
These are the people that I call my friends, yet I wonder if I should associate myself with them at all.
With all of that said, I am a very eccedentesiast person. I fake smiles, I don't let people know that what they say to me or how they treat me hurts me. I always have this small smile on around them that keeps on getting less and less genuine.
There's undoubtedly this feeling of loneliness even though I'm surrounded by all these people.
If anyone can relate to what I said in the slightest, let's do this together.
Let's talk to more people. Let's talk to someone that we feel comfortable around and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and that make us genuinely happy to be around.
If you want to do this but are too scared to leave your "old friends", please remember that they do not own you and you don't own them anything. You can do whatever you'd like to do to make yourself happy.
It would be awesome if someone went out to find someone that makes them happy after reading this post because they got inspired and share a little bit of their story in the comments. That way, it's proof to someone else that it's not only one person feeling this way, and that we can all share stories and help one another. I know that I'll share mine when it happens.
I will say that this was something quite personal for me to write about, so I really do hope that there's something you can take away from this.
One More Girl, no longer online
Today is more of a diary post type of entry.
I do have a few friends at school, but sometimes, I just hate being around them.
I've never been the "go-to friend", meaning that I was always considered as the less relevant friend. If something really cool or exciting happened to one of my friends, I was never/am never the first to know. Usually, I'm the last to be told or informed of something.
If I get to class and put my stuff down on a desk, I, quite often, have my stuff moved to the end of the row of desks or to a completely different row so that my other friends can talk. I'm usually left on the end, not really invited or necessarily wanted in a conversation. Plans that I'm never invited to join are constantly being made in front of me.
I remember back in December, my girl friends made plans to go dress shopping for a school dance, realized I was there and they said they'd text me about it. It got to the next day and I didn't receive anything, so when my best friend that is apart of another group of friends asked me to go to the mall, I didn't hesitant to say yes. I wasn't going to sit around all day for these girls to text me.
We walked right past the girls that originally said that they were going to text me and the only thing they did was give me a small smile, and they kept on walking. Not even a "Hi," or anything. It's not because they didn't want to spend time with the friend that I ended up going with, because at this rate, they talk to her more often then they talk to me.
Some friends, right?
Whenever I try to tell a story, I'm often talked over and then forgotten or just flat out told that no one cares. I make a small joke and they say it was stupid and carry out a different conversation, yet if someone makes the same joke a little later, everyone laughs.
These are the people that I call my friends, yet I wonder if I should associate myself with them at all.
With all of that said, I am a very eccedentesiast person. I fake smiles, I don't let people know that what they say to me or how they treat me hurts me. I always have this small smile on around them that keeps on getting less and less genuine.
There's undoubtedly this feeling of loneliness even though I'm surrounded by all these people.
If anyone can relate to what I said in the slightest, let's do this together.
Let's talk to more people. Let's talk to someone that we feel comfortable around and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and that make us genuinely happy to be around.
If you want to do this but are too scared to leave your "old friends", please remember that they do not own you and you don't own them anything. You can do whatever you'd like to do to make yourself happy.
It would be awesome if someone went out to find someone that makes them happy after reading this post because they got inspired and share a little bit of their story in the comments. That way, it's proof to someone else that it's not only one person feeling this way, and that we can all share stories and help one another. I know that I'll share mine when it happens.
I will say that this was something quite personal for me to write about, so I really do hope that there's something you can take away from this.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 21 January 2015
Impressing People
As humans, we feel the need to impress people, to make them love us, to be hated by no one, and to leave a legacy of some sort on this earth for years after we're gone.
Why do we all crave this feeling? Why can no one be happy with who they truly are anymore?
We should not be worrying about impressing people, because honestly, the people that are worth impressing deserve to know the true you. As the old saying goes, its better to be loved for who you are then to be loved for someone you're not. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others to be more "impressive".
If you're trying to impress someone with the intentions of a good friendship or dating them, there's no need to feel like someone you're not to be able to get them to like you back. The right person will come along for the right role, someday.
These days, I feel as though at school, it's a competition for who has the most likes on, Instagram, who has the most followers on Twitter, the most friends on Facebook. Why does it seem like people are competing over stuff like this?
In the long run, it's almost as if they picture life as a race, as in who's the most "loved" by people over social media.
It's almost as if everyone is in a drawing competition, and everyone is desperate to finish first so that they can say "Look at me! I'm done! I did it!" The truth is, you don't get happiness from finishing first, you get it while drawing something your proud of.
We have to let go of the insane thought about proving to everyone else that we're better in some aspect, and then we could be free to accomplish the dreams we never go the chance to imagine because we were so busy trying to impress others for no reason.
If we break down all the situations that we weren't ourselves because we wanted to impress the people around us that were in our lives for only a certain amount of time, and not for the long run, I can honestly say that I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.
I'm going to change that about my life, and if some of you also decide to do the same, feel free to comment and say how you're going to do so, and we can do this together.
No more impressing people, it's finally time to be me. If people don't like it, to bad. I'll know that hey aren't meant to be a permanent figure in my life.
That's also kind of why I like posting on my blog. I find that because it's anonymous, you know that there's truth to what I'm saying, I'm not making up scenarios in my head because this is the only place I can be myself. I'm not worrying about writing to impress you guys, I'm just writing about something that happened in my life and could be relatable or helpful to someone else.
Let the world see you as who you are. Stand tall, be proud.
One More Girl, no longer online
Why do we all crave this feeling? Why can no one be happy with who they truly are anymore?
We should not be worrying about impressing people, because honestly, the people that are worth impressing deserve to know the true you. As the old saying goes, its better to be loved for who you are then to be loved for someone you're not. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others to be more "impressive".
If you're trying to impress someone with the intentions of a good friendship or dating them, there's no need to feel like someone you're not to be able to get them to like you back. The right person will come along for the right role, someday.
These days, I feel as though at school, it's a competition for who has the most likes on, Instagram, who has the most followers on Twitter, the most friends on Facebook. Why does it seem like people are competing over stuff like this?
In the long run, it's almost as if they picture life as a race, as in who's the most "loved" by people over social media.
It's almost as if everyone is in a drawing competition, and everyone is desperate to finish first so that they can say "Look at me! I'm done! I did it!" The truth is, you don't get happiness from finishing first, you get it while drawing something your proud of.
We have to let go of the insane thought about proving to everyone else that we're better in some aspect, and then we could be free to accomplish the dreams we never go the chance to imagine because we were so busy trying to impress others for no reason.
If we break down all the situations that we weren't ourselves because we wanted to impress the people around us that were in our lives for only a certain amount of time, and not for the long run, I can honestly say that I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.
I'm going to change that about my life, and if some of you also decide to do the same, feel free to comment and say how you're going to do so, and we can do this together.
No more impressing people, it's finally time to be me. If people don't like it, to bad. I'll know that hey aren't meant to be a permanent figure in my life.
That's also kind of why I like posting on my blog. I find that because it's anonymous, you know that there's truth to what I'm saying, I'm not making up scenarios in my head because this is the only place I can be myself. I'm not worrying about writing to impress you guys, I'm just writing about something that happened in my life and could be relatable or helpful to someone else.
Let the world see you as who you are. Stand tall, be proud.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 14 January 2015
School And Cameras
I've never been one for being in pictures. I would always try and find a way around it, such as stalling for as long as possible, volunteering to take the picture, anything to avoid being in the picture itself.
I love taking pictures, though. As cheesy as it is, I love the idea of a story, a moment or a memory being captured in a single frame for the rest of eternity. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. It's an amazing thing.
Something that I don't think should be allowed is that teachers at schools have the right to decide to put the "No taking pictures at all" rule aside and make us, the students, film ourselves on iPads to record something for the class even though we clearly don't want to be.
Earlier on during the school year, my math teacher wanted us to film ourselves, and whoever else was in our group, reviewing a subject that we learnt and solving a problem that we made up on our own, related to that problem. She also stated that EVERYONE had to be in the video so that everyone could get marked fairly on it, even if you only see a person for a few seconds. Although she didn't say it,she implied that if you didn't talk in the video, you would lose points,
What happened to the no filming/picture rule? Why can teachers defy it? How did other people like me feel, being forced to partake in a video they don't want anything to do with?
I was lucky enough to have a doctors appointment at the exact date and time that I was supposed to be filming this video in math class, so I was able to avoid it.
Although I knew I could manage to avoid it, the idea still of having to do it still bothered me.
Another thing that my school does, it could be described as an end of the year banquet, where some students are recognized for academic achievements or their impact on a sports team.
For that event, the school wants pictures of every student to put in a PowerPoint slideshow, and I remember that last year, there was a teacher in the doorway that would stop the students that they didn't have pictures of. You had to go through that doorway, because it was the only one that lead to the locker area and all the classrooms. She kept stoping students to get a picture, and yes, I was one of them.
I simply refused to have my picture taken and I walked away to no longer be in the camera shot.
This year, they started doing it sooner, so during the math class before we started to film (the one the day before), my math teacher was going around and taking pictures of all the groups.
Once again, I really didn't want to be in a picture, so I got up and moved to the side wile she took the picture.
Because of that, I got called a buzzkill and boring by a guy that was in my group, and my teacher agreed.
At what point are you allowed to say that to a student who's uncomfortable with you taking a picture of them?
Why do teachers get to break this rule and not respect the decisions and privacy of a student?
It makes them hypocritical.
One More Girl, no longer online
I love taking pictures, though. As cheesy as it is, I love the idea of a story, a moment or a memory being captured in a single frame for the rest of eternity. Cheesy, I know, but it's true. It's an amazing thing.
Something that I don't think should be allowed is that teachers at schools have the right to decide to put the "No taking pictures at all" rule aside and make us, the students, film ourselves on iPads to record something for the class even though we clearly don't want to be.
Earlier on during the school year, my math teacher wanted us to film ourselves, and whoever else was in our group, reviewing a subject that we learnt and solving a problem that we made up on our own, related to that problem. She also stated that EVERYONE had to be in the video so that everyone could get marked fairly on it, even if you only see a person for a few seconds. Although she didn't say it,she implied that if you didn't talk in the video, you would lose points,
What happened to the no filming/picture rule? Why can teachers defy it? How did other people like me feel, being forced to partake in a video they don't want anything to do with?
I was lucky enough to have a doctors appointment at the exact date and time that I was supposed to be filming this video in math class, so I was able to avoid it.
Although I knew I could manage to avoid it, the idea still of having to do it still bothered me.
Another thing that my school does, it could be described as an end of the year banquet, where some students are recognized for academic achievements or their impact on a sports team.
For that event, the school wants pictures of every student to put in a PowerPoint slideshow, and I remember that last year, there was a teacher in the doorway that would stop the students that they didn't have pictures of. You had to go through that doorway, because it was the only one that lead to the locker area and all the classrooms. She kept stoping students to get a picture, and yes, I was one of them.
I simply refused to have my picture taken and I walked away to no longer be in the camera shot.
This year, they started doing it sooner, so during the math class before we started to film (the one the day before), my math teacher was going around and taking pictures of all the groups.
Once again, I really didn't want to be in a picture, so I got up and moved to the side wile she took the picture.
Because of that, I got called a buzzkill and boring by a guy that was in my group, and my teacher agreed.
At what point are you allowed to say that to a student who's uncomfortable with you taking a picture of them?
Why do teachers get to break this rule and not respect the decisions and privacy of a student?
It makes them hypocritical.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 31 December 2014
One More Blog On The Internet
I've been internally debating whether I wanted to start this blog or not for ages.
Why, you might be asking yourself?
Do you ever get the feeling when you have so many emotions
and thoughts boiling up inside you that if one more problem is added on, you’ll
be like one of those kettles with the steam pouring and screeching out the
sides? But once the screeching starts, you try to be fast to make it stop? That’s
how I deal with a lot of things, I try to cover it up and end it quickly.
You all might be thinking “Why don’t you just have a diary?
Why do you want to post all of this on the internet forever?”
I did once try to maintain a diary, but it never worked. It
would always be about pointless events that happened in my day. Not anything
from the way I truly felt, in worry that my family might find it and read it.
I feel as though if I started this blog, I would have
motivation to write, knowing that someone might be reading this and being able
to read what I write.
This is why my blog will forever be anonymous.
I won’t have to worry about who’s reading this-whether its
family or friends, and I have complete freedom to write about whatever comes to
mind and how I truly think about certain things.
I really hope that I can write about something that other
teenagers like me could relate to. A place where we can all take off the masks
we wear and are able to be ourselves, a blog where someone can learn something,
where I can help other people, and where I can maybe inspire people.
But if that never happens, it doesn't matter. I’m just one
more girl online.
I hope this was an alright introduction for my blog. Thanks
for reading and I also hope that some of you are interested in what I might
have to say later on.
One More Girl, no longer online
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