Seeing as it's summer, my parents want to see me outside, hanging out with friends and generally being out and about, but that's not necessarily what I want or what can happen at the moment.
Admittedly, I haven't gone out of my way to make plans with friends because I feel as though they're all busy and I don't want to bother them by texting them.
I've also been spending a lot of time at home with the dog, but today my mom reminded me that it is okay if I leave the house for a few hours because my grandmother also goes out and leaves the dog on her own.
After she told me that, I just so happened to be told that I could go out and meet my dad for lunch.
This seems like a perfectly nice offer that any teen stuck at home would've taken because it's a free lunch at a restaurant, how wouldn't want that?
It just wasn't what I wanted today.
I love my parents and with everything that they do for me, I don't mind spending time with them. When my mom told me that I could go, I feel as though she was certain that I was going to say yes.
Honestly, I was a little hesitant but I still went.
I was hesitant because I wasn't hungry for lunch and I was a little tired.
Seeing as though I was on the fence about going, I decided to go anyway.
In the end, I did end up enjoying the lunch and I ate most of what I ordered.
I couldn't help to think that this could be part of the problem.
A little while back, I wrote my post Bad Habits and how you shouldn't be ashamed of them and if you want to overcome one, it will take time.
Another one of my bad habits is to put everyone else's feelings before my own.
When my cousin came up for vacation from New York, she had tickets for us to go to Jazz Fest, but I also happened to have a softball game that night. My dad had to go drop something off at the field, and when he was there, he called me to let me know that my team was down one player and would most likely have to forfeit if I didn't play.
I was torn, not by what I wanted to do, but what I thought everyone else wanted me to do.
I see my cousin for about the time period of one to two weeks per year, I rarely miss any softball practices or games, I would be missing part of an event that my cousin and I were looking forward to for months, my team would lose a game because of me, my cousin payed for these tickets herself, my softball team would be single handedly let down by me.
I had so many thoughts going through my head that I couldn't even think of what I wanted for myself.
My mom told me that I would be upset one way or another, and seeing the time and situation I was in, I decided to go to the concert with my cousin. That didn't stop me from feeling terrible for the first few hours.
With lunch today, I decided to go myself, but I thought that if I didn't go, I'd be disappointing both of my parents.
When I got home, I started to think about things like that more.
In the end, it's my life.
I shouldn't have to spend time doing something or going somewhere that I don't want to go.
If I end up regretting, then all the blame is on me.
If I'm on the fence about something, I always try and give it a chance because if I don't like it, I can stop whatever I'm doing or leave wherever I was heading to.
If I want to do something or go somewhere, great, I'm all in, but I don't want to spend time from my life doing stuff that I don't enjoy.
I wouldn't be blogging this today if I didn't like writing.
Although I'm still young and I can't have a complete say as to what I do all the time, I'm going to start managing my time better because I'm tired of doing stuff that I don't actually want to do.
It's my life, I can spend it's time however I want to and I shouldn't feel guilty about it.
Even if I can't start that now, that's one of my biggest goals for the future.
One More Girl, no longer online
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Wednesday, 15 July 2015
Monday, 22 June 2015
Fear And Regret
Admittedly, I didn't write a post yesterday like I usually do. I don't have any reason as to why other than the fact that I didn't really know what to write about.
There hasn't been anything extraordinarily different in my life to write about, and I was at a lack of inspiration for a post.
I went to bed slightly frustrated with myself that I couldn't think of something to write about, but I realized that you can't set a fixed time for inspiration for something. If you do, it probably won't turn out the way you want it to, so it's okay to wait for that inspiration to hit.
My inspiration for this post hit me today when I was texting a friend and he was telling me that he was nervous and scared to go to a camp that goes for a few weeks and that's a 15 hour drive away/2 hour flight away from home.
I could understand why he would be scared and nervous; he's going alone, there's no one that he already knows going with him. If I were in his shoes, I would be terrified to do it. He's quite courageous to be doing it, honestly.
Having been in that situation myself with a different scenario, I told him what I thought.
I told him that being nervous and scared to go is normal, who wouldn't feel that way? I said that he would certainly make friends. He was still a little hesitant, saying that he supposed that that was true.
Finally, I told him something that helped me figure things out for myself.
I told him that he'd regret if it he didn't go.
Yes, he would be home with the people that he knows, he would be with friends, but he would always wonder what would happen if he didn't go.
While texting I said "You might be scared now, yes, but will you regret not going because fear is holding you back? Probably," and he agreed.
He said that he would regret it and told me that that's a good way of thinking about things.
I gave the advice that I was too scared to follow myself, so I changed that.
As some of you may know, I've had a choice to make: to stay at my current school which is French or change to the local English High School.
Although the English school seemed like the better choice, I was terrified to make the official decision, terrified to regret it. After thinking about it, I realize that I will most likely regret the choice I never took.
I don't want to live my life that way.
I don't want to regret anything, I want to try everything. Not everything is my cup of tea, I realize that, but how can I find that perfect brew if I never try it? Sure I might have some unpleasant tea at times, but that's how you find the perfect brew.
I decided to follow my own advice and I'm going to the local English high school.
Fear is associated with regret, the go hand in hand, you'll feel one or the other at times.
Just because you fear something though, doesn't mean you regret it.
Don't hold back on something because you're scared of regret. If you don't try it, you'll regret that too. Might as well try something and know that you regretted it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
Things We Need To Tell Ourselves More Often
As humans, we need feedback to learn. No matter what the case is; whether it's in sports performances or work performances, we need someone to give us constructive criticism to improve in whatever field we're performing in.
Usually, you won't hear negative feedback. People tend to only give you criticism on a specific field when they want to help you improve. They care about you and they want to make sure that you reach your full potential. When they give you constructive criticism, it's a good thing. They'll highlight something that you are doing well and remind you to do something specific to help you reach your full potential. They tell you how to improve something to build you up, not tear you down.
Constructive criticism is a great thing, yet it's not always constructive/positive.
We usually go to get constructive criticism from someone who is in a higher rank than ourselves, so for an example as a sports player, I'll look for feedback from my coach. As a new employee, I'll look for feedback from someone who's been working there longer than I have or even my manager.
Although getting feedback from someone else, I find that no one is harder on ourselves then us ourselves.
People tend to be hard on themselves for different reasons.
Some might do it because they didn't feel loved/praised enough. If their parents would brush off ever accomplishment that they did, they would work hard and criticism themselves to make everything perfect just to hear the praise that they deserve.
They might feel as though they haven't accomplished anything great in their life and will work and criticism themselves until they feel as though they've done something great.
They could be hard on themselves because they feel useless or have been wrongfully led to think so. They don't feel happy with anything that they've done so they criticism themselves harshly until they feel successful enough.
After thinking about that for a little bit today I realize that they're so many things that people should hear every once in awhile, or even everyday, that they don't often hear.
Here are a few things we need to tell ourselves more:
1) Things don't change overnight.
Whether you're trying to change the way you do something sports related (for say, changing your technique on mechanics) or change the way you look to be happier with your body, that change will come. Changing things takes time and that's often something we forget. It's okay to get frustrated every once and awhile, but we must remember that things change a different rates, so do not feel bad if you can't accomplish something for a set date. If you happen to miss your goal by a set date, that's okay! You're human! Set a new date and work towards that goal instead of getting yourself down and beating yourself up.
2) Everyone makes mistakes, I'm not the only one.
Some people feel as though that as soon as they make a mistake, they're suddenly pathetic.
That's not the case.
As much as you probably don't believe it or as much as you doubt it, everyone makes mistakes. Our friends, parents, teachers, role models, strangers that you see on the streets, everyone. Everyone makes mistakes. It's possible to make a mistake on a basic math question, but hey! That happens! Mistakes happen and you learn from them. They aren't the end of the world; if anything, they make us more determined to do better. They shouldn't eat at you until you tear yourself apart.
3) I can't control this, so I'll work with it.
If there's somewhere you need to be at a set time, yet you're stuck in traffic, there's no point in worrying and stressing over it. Traffic is something out of your control, it's not your fault, so don't make yourself believe that it is. I know people (including myself) who will stress over things out of their control. In situations where you don't have control, work with what's given to you. If you're getting sick and can't risk missing school, go see your teachers and see what you can bring home to stay up to date or go to the store to get things that will make you feel better. You can't avoid getting sick, so do something that will help you during that time.
Those are my three tips for today, maybe I'll make another post like this later on and remind you of three more things that we have to tell ourselves more often.
Something that I want to add in and tell you in case you haven't heard it recently is that I'm proud of you.
Everyone here has gotten to this time of their life in different ways and have had their own challenges. No matter how big or small they are, challenges are challenges and congratulations for surpassing them. I know that sometimes it's hard to do and I'm proud of you for getting here.
One More Girl, no longer online
Usually, you won't hear negative feedback. People tend to only give you criticism on a specific field when they want to help you improve. They care about you and they want to make sure that you reach your full potential. When they give you constructive criticism, it's a good thing. They'll highlight something that you are doing well and remind you to do something specific to help you reach your full potential. They tell you how to improve something to build you up, not tear you down.
Constructive criticism is a great thing, yet it's not always constructive/positive.
We usually go to get constructive criticism from someone who is in a higher rank than ourselves, so for an example as a sports player, I'll look for feedback from my coach. As a new employee, I'll look for feedback from someone who's been working there longer than I have or even my manager.
Although getting feedback from someone else, I find that no one is harder on ourselves then us ourselves.
People tend to be hard on themselves for different reasons.
Some might do it because they didn't feel loved/praised enough. If their parents would brush off ever accomplishment that they did, they would work hard and criticism themselves to make everything perfect just to hear the praise that they deserve.
They might feel as though they haven't accomplished anything great in their life and will work and criticism themselves until they feel as though they've done something great.
They could be hard on themselves because they feel useless or have been wrongfully led to think so. They don't feel happy with anything that they've done so they criticism themselves harshly until they feel successful enough.
After thinking about that for a little bit today I realize that they're so many things that people should hear every once in awhile, or even everyday, that they don't often hear.
Here are a few things we need to tell ourselves more:
1) Things don't change overnight.
Whether you're trying to change the way you do something sports related (for say, changing your technique on mechanics) or change the way you look to be happier with your body, that change will come. Changing things takes time and that's often something we forget. It's okay to get frustrated every once and awhile, but we must remember that things change a different rates, so do not feel bad if you can't accomplish something for a set date. If you happen to miss your goal by a set date, that's okay! You're human! Set a new date and work towards that goal instead of getting yourself down and beating yourself up.
2) Everyone makes mistakes, I'm not the only one.
Some people feel as though that as soon as they make a mistake, they're suddenly pathetic.
That's not the case.
As much as you probably don't believe it or as much as you doubt it, everyone makes mistakes. Our friends, parents, teachers, role models, strangers that you see on the streets, everyone. Everyone makes mistakes. It's possible to make a mistake on a basic math question, but hey! That happens! Mistakes happen and you learn from them. They aren't the end of the world; if anything, they make us more determined to do better. They shouldn't eat at you until you tear yourself apart.
3) I can't control this, so I'll work with it.
If there's somewhere you need to be at a set time, yet you're stuck in traffic, there's no point in worrying and stressing over it. Traffic is something out of your control, it's not your fault, so don't make yourself believe that it is. I know people (including myself) who will stress over things out of their control. In situations where you don't have control, work with what's given to you. If you're getting sick and can't risk missing school, go see your teachers and see what you can bring home to stay up to date or go to the store to get things that will make you feel better. You can't avoid getting sick, so do something that will help you during that time.
Those are my three tips for today, maybe I'll make another post like this later on and remind you of three more things that we have to tell ourselves more often.
Something that I want to add in and tell you in case you haven't heard it recently is that I'm proud of you.
Everyone here has gotten to this time of their life in different ways and have had their own challenges. No matter how big or small they are, challenges are challenges and congratulations for surpassing them. I know that sometimes it's hard to do and I'm proud of you for getting here.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Life's Adventure Pace
Something I haven't written about on my blog before is that I have received a few certifications.
So far, I have up to my bronze cross certification (think of it as I'm 2/3 of the way to being a lifeguard) and my AWSI (Assistant Water Safety Instructor) certification (I'm halfway to being a swim teacher).
To be a Water Safety Instructor, in other words: an official swimming teacher, I have to complete my WSI course.
I will actually complete that course Monday, then I'm certified to teach swimming lessons.
Both courses last seven weeks each, so I've been doing a course every single Monday from 5pm-9pm every Monday for the past thirteen weeks, and Monday will be my fourteenth/final week.
Throughout the time of the course, I've been feeling as though my parents are more excited for this than I am.
Both my parents and older sister have followed in the same footsteps: do all 10 swim levels, swim for a team, teach swimming lessons, become a pool lifeguard and then a beach lifeguard.
I've done up to swimming for a team, but I'll soon start to teach lessons like it's expected of me.
To be honest with you all, I'm terrified for it.
Being on my own with up to eight young kids in a potentially very dangerous environment for them, that terrifies me. If something goes wrong one day, it's on me and I'll blame myself for it every single day.
I don't know what to think of it. They make you do practice teaching, but even then, you're not on your own. The original teacher is still with the class and can help out at any time.
The reason as to why I'm mentioning all of this is because this evening, I went to babysit this little girl. She falls right into the category as to what ages I'll most likely teach.
I know that everyone is different and that I knew this girl prior to going to babysit, but I started to get comfortable with the idea of teaching her.
I thought "Hey, I could do it. She's a really nice kid, good listener and will try new things! I could so teach her!"
Then I remembered that not all kids are like her and will be as sweet as her, nor the same age.
I then started to remember my initial feelings about the whole situation and thought about how they haven't really changed at all.
I'm still working up the courage to tell my parents that I don't want to teach swimming lessons, not yet anyway.
Something that I have trouble remembering, and I know that many others also do, is just because you're expected to do something, that doesn't mean that you have to do it.
Life is a journey to the grave.Yes, it should be adventurous in your own way, but you should also be adventurous at your own pace. Not your parents or your siblings pace, but your own pace.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 3 May 2015
Messages In Different Formats
Over centuries, messages have been delivered in many different formats.
Messages can be expressed in the form of music, art, quotes, rallies/protest, letters, stories, facial expression, photos and poetry.
There's so many ways to get one message across...it's amazing if you think about it.
Personally, music is a big one for me because you can interpret the message from the lyrics and also the instrumental music. With some songs, it can be sad lyrics yet an upbeat tempo and I find that the message getting across is that someone can be feeling the most intense pain ever, but they always try to cover it up by being happy or not drawing attention to it.
With art, people love that because there's the artist intentions of the message and then the viewers interruption of the message.
It's the same for photos, really. Maybe my reason for taking the photo is different than what you think was my reason to.
Whenever getting a message across had to do with words on a page, so letters, quotes or stories, there's always the literal message and then the message you read in between the lines.
I've never been great a deciphering the messages in poetry. I know that there's always a second meaning to every poem, but I focus more on the one right in front of me.
When I hear or read the poem for the first time, I really do understand the literal meaning of the message, but it will take me a few times to understand the hidden message.
That's why I like direct poems.
I love poems where I don't have to figure out the message. I love poems that when I hear or read it once, I can't stop thinking about it, it's running through my mind for the rest of the day.
There's this one poem I heard awhile ago and ever since then, I've probably listened to it once each day.
The poem is called 21 by Patrick Roche.
It's the poem about how having an alcoholic family member has affected the different years of his life. More so, what he remembers what happened during different years of his life.
We hear stories about people being alcoholics and how families are negatively affected, yet we never quite understand to what extent the family members are affected in bad cases.
When I heard this poem for the first time, my stomach dropped.
I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
I can't say that because I heard this poem, I know what his experience was like because in all reality, I don't. What I got out of the poem is what it's really like for them, how bad a relapse affects everyone.
When you read something yourself, you can picture it in your mind, but it's also easier to forget.
When you hear someone else read what they wrote or tell a story of their own experience, you can feel the emotions that they felt. They have passion and truth behind each word that they say. You can't forget their words, no matter what.
So to leave you guys, here's the video of the poem that I watched. If you've watched it already, let me know what you thought of it! If you've never watched it before, please take a minute to watch it, I promise that it's worth it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Messages can be expressed in the form of music, art, quotes, rallies/protest, letters, stories, facial expression, photos and poetry.
There's so many ways to get one message across...it's amazing if you think about it.
Personally, music is a big one for me because you can interpret the message from the lyrics and also the instrumental music. With some songs, it can be sad lyrics yet an upbeat tempo and I find that the message getting across is that someone can be feeling the most intense pain ever, but they always try to cover it up by being happy or not drawing attention to it.
With art, people love that because there's the artist intentions of the message and then the viewers interruption of the message.
It's the same for photos, really. Maybe my reason for taking the photo is different than what you think was my reason to.
Whenever getting a message across had to do with words on a page, so letters, quotes or stories, there's always the literal message and then the message you read in between the lines.
I've never been great a deciphering the messages in poetry. I know that there's always a second meaning to every poem, but I focus more on the one right in front of me.
When I hear or read the poem for the first time, I really do understand the literal meaning of the message, but it will take me a few times to understand the hidden message.
That's why I like direct poems.
I love poems where I don't have to figure out the message. I love poems that when I hear or read it once, I can't stop thinking about it, it's running through my mind for the rest of the day.
There's this one poem I heard awhile ago and ever since then, I've probably listened to it once each day.
The poem is called 21 by Patrick Roche.
It's the poem about how having an alcoholic family member has affected the different years of his life. More so, what he remembers what happened during different years of his life.
We hear stories about people being alcoholics and how families are negatively affected, yet we never quite understand to what extent the family members are affected in bad cases.
When I heard this poem for the first time, my stomach dropped.
I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
I can't say that because I heard this poem, I know what his experience was like because in all reality, I don't. What I got out of the poem is what it's really like for them, how bad a relapse affects everyone.
When you read something yourself, you can picture it in your mind, but it's also easier to forget.
When you hear someone else read what they wrote or tell a story of their own experience, you can feel the emotions that they felt. They have passion and truth behind each word that they say. You can't forget their words, no matter what.
So to leave you guys, here's the video of the poem that I watched. If you've watched it already, let me know what you thought of it! If you've never watched it before, please take a minute to watch it, I promise that it's worth it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
Fears
Fears are silly things if we think about them.
Scientist say that if we didn't fear things, we wouldn't be alive. Fear is the general response for when we're in a potentially dangerous situation or we feel threatened.
I've constantly heard, and have been told a few times myself, that we have to get over our fears.
I don't think that we have to.
Depending on what you're afraid of, fear shows our values. They let us express what we're afraid to lose, things we cherish, and what we're afraid of what may be/what hasn't happened yet without having to go into a huge speech as to why. We don't have to explain ourselves when we're afraid of something.
For example, a fear of mine is to never be able to have kids. That's something that hasn't happened yet, but with that one little fact about me, you can already tell some of my values for the future: Start a family and be the best mom I could be.
I feel as though that's a rational fear. It's something that I don't have 100% control over and could change what little of my future I already have planned.
An irrational fear I had when I was younger was that I would think that there could be a shark in the pool or lake I was swimming in. I'm pretty sure that that fear was created in between the time of my 10 years of swimming and my first time watching Jaws.
As I got older, I realized how silly that fear was. I broke down the main components, thinking if:
1. There could actually be a shark in the pool.
2. I would be allowed to swim in a place with a killer shark nearby.
I saw how silly that fear was, so I was able to get over it. I understood why I would have that fear, what made me create it in my mind, I analyzed the logic behind it and once I realized that there was none, I stopped being afraid.
Some fears you have for many different reasons and some could be explained easier than others. It's up to you to realize if your fear is rational or irrational, if it's something that you can control and if it's something that is holding you back from something that you really want to do.
I wrote this post today because this afternoon, I went for my wisdom teeth removal consultation. To be perfectly honest, yes, I am scared. The procedure is happening in exactly one month from today, but I can't help but think of everything that could go wrong.
What is helping me slowly overcome that fear is having to remind myself that many people have this procedure done, it's safe and the doctors know what they're doing.
I believe if you break down any fear you can have and figure out why you have it, I think you can overcome it.
In the end, are fears honestly a bad thing, or do they push us to do whatever could lead us to the best outcome?
One More Girl, no longer online
Scientist say that if we didn't fear things, we wouldn't be alive. Fear is the general response for when we're in a potentially dangerous situation or we feel threatened.
I've constantly heard, and have been told a few times myself, that we have to get over our fears.
I don't think that we have to.
Depending on what you're afraid of, fear shows our values. They let us express what we're afraid to lose, things we cherish, and what we're afraid of what may be/what hasn't happened yet without having to go into a huge speech as to why. We don't have to explain ourselves when we're afraid of something.
For example, a fear of mine is to never be able to have kids. That's something that hasn't happened yet, but with that one little fact about me, you can already tell some of my values for the future: Start a family and be the best mom I could be.
I feel as though that's a rational fear. It's something that I don't have 100% control over and could change what little of my future I already have planned.
An irrational fear I had when I was younger was that I would think that there could be a shark in the pool or lake I was swimming in. I'm pretty sure that that fear was created in between the time of my 10 years of swimming and my first time watching Jaws.
As I got older, I realized how silly that fear was. I broke down the main components, thinking if:
1. There could actually be a shark in the pool.
2. I would be allowed to swim in a place with a killer shark nearby.
I saw how silly that fear was, so I was able to get over it. I understood why I would have that fear, what made me create it in my mind, I analyzed the logic behind it and once I realized that there was none, I stopped being afraid.
Some fears you have for many different reasons and some could be explained easier than others. It's up to you to realize if your fear is rational or irrational, if it's something that you can control and if it's something that is holding you back from something that you really want to do.
I wrote this post today because this afternoon, I went for my wisdom teeth removal consultation. To be perfectly honest, yes, I am scared. The procedure is happening in exactly one month from today, but I can't help but think of everything that could go wrong.
What is helping me slowly overcome that fear is having to remind myself that many people have this procedure done, it's safe and the doctors know what they're doing.
I believe if you break down any fear you can have and figure out why you have it, I think you can overcome it.
In the end, are fears honestly a bad thing, or do they push us to do whatever could lead us to the best outcome?
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 15 March 2015
Vacation
Friday was the official start of March break for me, and I couldn't be anymore relieved.
I have found that recently I have these piles of stress on my shoulders, so it will be great to be able to take a week for myself and not have to worry about school, courses, work, and day to day life.
I have been starting to dread the thought of school more and more recently, but that's probably because it's all I've known. It's the same exact thing, five days a week, six hours a day, it does start to get dull.
I'm lucky enough to be traveling this March break, and I get to travel to Jamaica tomorrow morning. I'm so excited to go, I'm really excited for the change in scenery for a little bit and it will be a good little change for me.
I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about the plane ride. I have been on one before, but I still always get nervous about 24 hours before I go.
Something that I have been super stressed over at school is that we were assigned the biggest history project of the year, only had one class to work on it in school, and were assigned to do it over March break so we can hand it in the day we get back (The 23rd).
If you ask me, that is unfair. Many people are going away for the break and many have been away before the teachers even gave us the project. I say teachers as in plural because we currently have a trainee teacher in charge of this project while our regular teacher is in the back of the class doing some other work.
I have been working on this project at home, but with all the outcomes I have to meet, it feels as if it's going to be impossible to finish before I leave.
My parents agree with me and do see my point of view on this matter and have emailed my regular teacher, informing her that I probably won't have it in on time, but that's not necessarily my fault. I know for a fact that it hasn't only been my parents to do so.
I guess that's another reason as to why I'm nervous for this vacation; I won't be able to get any work done and that will only be a bigger burden on my shoulders when I get home.
My parents have told me not to worry over it, and I think that's exactly what I'm going to do.
It's not everyday that I can escape the freezing Canadian weather and that I have the chance to go to Jamaica for the week.
My teachers are informed that I won;t have it in on time, so that should be enough.
Everyone deserves a break that they're going to enjoy, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Among the fact that I'm traveling to Jamaica, my family and I are staying at this really small resort (about 60 rooms I believe), so to have wifi, we would have to pay a fee. I'm not sure what this fee is, whether it's 40$ a day or 60$ a week, but what I do know is that my parents have decided to not pay for this fee and to have this vacation be a disconnected one.
Honestly? I'm excited for that. I know that I spend a lot of time online, so it will be amazing to get away from all temptation of that and to see a part of the world that I've never seen before. Sadly, though, it means that I won't be able to post on my blog like regularly. So there's not going to be a post Wednesday or Sunday, but my next actual post will be on Wednesday March 25th.
I have to admit though, I'm not 100% sure about the whole wifi situation, but I will try and stay off it as much as I can. If there is a chance to use wifi, I might use it to upload some pictures that I took onto my blog so that I won't use up all my storage space on my camera memory card, but that will be it.
What are you guys doing? Any plans for March break? I think that the break in March is for Canadians and a few others around the world, I'm pretty sure that Americans had their break in February, but even so, what did you do then? Feel free to let me know!
I'll see you all again when I get back.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 11 March 2015
Bumps In The Road
This afternoon, I went to the doctors and I heard the words that I was terrified to hear, yet deep down, I knew that they were coming.
At the moment, I'm still having trouble processing it all, so I don't feel up to opening about all of that quite yet, but maybe a little later on in the future I'll be open to talking about it.
Tonight's post is going to be a short one that's going to be a reminder for myself in the future, and maybe it could be one for you right now.
They say that life's a journey and you never know what to expect on that journey, and I learnt a little more about that with today.
For a journey, I assume that you need some sort of transport and grounds to get across.
For me, I see life as a dirt road.
It's a dirt road because some parts are as smooth as ever, others are a little patchy yet still manageable, and others are extremely rough, not necessarily in that order and on a constant loop.
I'm currently in the extremely rough part of that long dirt road, and all I can say for anyone else that might also be on that part of the road is that it may not look like it, but there will be a smooth part coming up.
Trust me, I know what it's like to see a rough part of the road for ages, but everything comes to an end at some point, right? No, sadly I can't say whether that the smooth part is coming up in a few minutes or in a few days, I can't tell you when it is, but I can promise that it's waiting to greet you.
Although you may feel terribly alone right now or when you but that rough part, you're not alone. That's probably the hardest, yet most important thing to remember. You're not alone, there's always help somewhere and there's always someone looking to support you.
Even if you don't believe it, I'm supporting you. I'm rooting for you to find that smooth part of the road.
I don't know what your current life situation is. I don't know if it might be a little rocky or if it's a smooth ride for awhile, but there's always going to be bumps in the road and you don't have to let it become a mountain for you.
Whatever you have to do, slow it down. There's no point in blowing a tire or damaging your car while trying to speed over the bumps.
What I want for anyone who reads this to take from it is that things do get better, and there's always someone cheering you on, even if you don't see them.
One More Girl, no longer online
At the moment, I'm still having trouble processing it all, so I don't feel up to opening about all of that quite yet, but maybe a little later on in the future I'll be open to talking about it.
Tonight's post is going to be a short one that's going to be a reminder for myself in the future, and maybe it could be one for you right now.
They say that life's a journey and you never know what to expect on that journey, and I learnt a little more about that with today.
For a journey, I assume that you need some sort of transport and grounds to get across.
For me, I see life as a dirt road.
It's a dirt road because some parts are as smooth as ever, others are a little patchy yet still manageable, and others are extremely rough, not necessarily in that order and on a constant loop.
I'm currently in the extremely rough part of that long dirt road, and all I can say for anyone else that might also be on that part of the road is that it may not look like it, but there will be a smooth part coming up.
Trust me, I know what it's like to see a rough part of the road for ages, but everything comes to an end at some point, right? No, sadly I can't say whether that the smooth part is coming up in a few minutes or in a few days, I can't tell you when it is, but I can promise that it's waiting to greet you.
Although you may feel terribly alone right now or when you but that rough part, you're not alone. That's probably the hardest, yet most important thing to remember. You're not alone, there's always help somewhere and there's always someone looking to support you.
Even if you don't believe it, I'm supporting you. I'm rooting for you to find that smooth part of the road.
I don't know what your current life situation is. I don't know if it might be a little rocky or if it's a smooth ride for awhile, but there's always going to be bumps in the road and you don't have to let it become a mountain for you.
Whatever you have to do, slow it down. There's no point in blowing a tire or damaging your car while trying to speed over the bumps.
What I want for anyone who reads this to take from it is that things do get better, and there's always someone cheering you on, even if you don't see them.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 25 February 2015
Dealing With Stress
When I looked up the definition of stress on Google, the definition I got was "A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances."
I've been feeling stressed recently because at my school, they thought the best idea was to dropped all this course selection and "life decision" speech all within four or five school days.
If it takes me 20 minutes to figure out what shirt size fits best, how do they expect me to make choices that will affect my life for years after that?
I would be lying if I said I've been feeling a little stressed over this. I feel the need to follow in my older sister's footsteps, I feel the need to make my parents proud even if that means doing something I'm not happy with, I'm worried that I won't have all the credits that I need to graduate and so many other things. I'm not sure what program I want to follow.
I'm not even 100% sure what career I want to have when I'm older, so how do I know what classes to take so I set myself up to get into the right university courses?
I won't lie, I had two little cries today because I worked myself up too much.
Seeing as I'm feeling quite stressed out and others might be experiencing the same feeling, whether now or months after this is posted, I looked up a few ways to help reduce stress.
1. Listen to some music
Music is proven to help lower your blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety. Allow your mind to focus on the different melodies and harmonies and all of the instruments. There's no shame in cracking up the tunes!
2. Exercise
Many people enjoy different types of exercise, so there isn't a specific one you should do. Yoga and walking are great ways to ease depression and anxiety, but if you feel more like doing some powerlifting (or weights in general), or sprinting, or boxing, do whatever you prefer!
3. Laugh
Whether you watch a favourite TV show or you watch something funny on YouTube, laughing increases oxygen and blood flow to the brain which can automatically reduce stress.
4.Breath
Take a minute to focus on your breathing, filling your lungs with air. In through your nose and out with your mouth, breath in for five seconds and exhale for five seconds. Doing this repeatedly can make yourself feel calmer.
5. Light a Candle
Aromatherapy is a good way to relieve stress.Lavender is consistently shown to reduce stress levels. If you don't like the smell of lavender, that's alright, get the scent of something you enjoy!
Stress can be difficult to manage, but you should never turn to alcohol or other potentially harmful ways to deal with it, there's always an alternative and healthy way to deal with it.
One More Girl, no longer online
I've been feeling stressed recently because at my school, they thought the best idea was to dropped all this course selection and "life decision" speech all within four or five school days.
If it takes me 20 minutes to figure out what shirt size fits best, how do they expect me to make choices that will affect my life for years after that?
I would be lying if I said I've been feeling a little stressed over this. I feel the need to follow in my older sister's footsteps, I feel the need to make my parents proud even if that means doing something I'm not happy with, I'm worried that I won't have all the credits that I need to graduate and so many other things. I'm not sure what program I want to follow.
I'm not even 100% sure what career I want to have when I'm older, so how do I know what classes to take so I set myself up to get into the right university courses?
I won't lie, I had two little cries today because I worked myself up too much.
Seeing as I'm feeling quite stressed out and others might be experiencing the same feeling, whether now or months after this is posted, I looked up a few ways to help reduce stress.
1. Listen to some music
Music is proven to help lower your blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety. Allow your mind to focus on the different melodies and harmonies and all of the instruments. There's no shame in cracking up the tunes!
2. Exercise
Many people enjoy different types of exercise, so there isn't a specific one you should do. Yoga and walking are great ways to ease depression and anxiety, but if you feel more like doing some powerlifting (or weights in general), or sprinting, or boxing, do whatever you prefer!
3. Laugh
Whether you watch a favourite TV show or you watch something funny on YouTube, laughing increases oxygen and blood flow to the brain which can automatically reduce stress.
4.Breath
Take a minute to focus on your breathing, filling your lungs with air. In through your nose and out with your mouth, breath in for five seconds and exhale for five seconds. Doing this repeatedly can make yourself feel calmer.
5. Light a Candle
Aromatherapy is a good way to relieve stress.Lavender is consistently shown to reduce stress levels. If you don't like the smell of lavender, that's alright, get the scent of something you enjoy!
Stress can be difficult to manage, but you should never turn to alcohol or other potentially harmful ways to deal with it, there's always an alternative and healthy way to deal with it.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 11 February 2015
Finding Happiness: Part One
In my post Endless Opportunities, I wrote about how the world holds many opportunities for you, you don't have to feel trapped in a box, and that you should do whatever it takes for you to be happy.
Yesterday, I took the first step on my journey to find my happiness.
I have been an athlete for awhile now. I have been a competitive swimmer for about eight or nine years and a softball player for easily about six years now. I love both sports, but for the past year and a half or so, I have been losing interest in swimming at a fast rate.
I kept pushing myself to finish the season last year, so I did and I was content with that but I wasn't over the moon or anything. When my mom asked me if I wanted to swim this season back in September, I wasn't all that sure, but I finally ended up saying yes to it because I figured that since it was a big part of my life for so long I become happier as the seasons and practices unfolded.
I was wrong.
Practices went on and I couldn't help but feel miserable. I love swimming, I always will, but I didn't feel good doing it, I no longer enjoyed it and I would be counting down the minutes until practice was over.
That was my sign.
I wasn't happy doing it, I had to change something.
Having six practices a week, training nine or so hours per week, I personally thought that that was too much time and dedication put into something that I was always dreading.
I was terrified to officially quit the team. Like I said, it was such a big part of my life and I wasn't sure what I would do with all that now free time on my hands. While I was writing the email to my coach explaining that I will no longer attend practices, I kept asking myself if it was the right thing to do. Deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do, I was just afraid to let go of that part of my life.
After having an internal war with myself, I sent the email and I felt...relieved.
Today, I woke up feeling great. I wasn't worrying over future swim meets and practices, but of what to I value more important in my life.
Writing and reading have always been things that I love to do, but with all the swimming hours, homework and other events in my life, I didn't always have the chance to do them.
Now, I can. I'm not feeling as if I won't have time to do everything I want to do in my day.
Letting go of something that lasted years in your life can be scary, terrifying even, but if it's something you feel forced to do and you don't love them any longer, it's worth it.
Well, it is to me.
I have my happy moments, don't get me wrong, but I can't say that I'm overwhelmed with this feeling of happiness.
It might take a while, but this is the first step in my journey to find happiness, and I hope that it can inspire one of you guys to go out and find yours.
One More Girl, no longer online
Yesterday, I took the first step on my journey to find my happiness.
I have been an athlete for awhile now. I have been a competitive swimmer for about eight or nine years and a softball player for easily about six years now. I love both sports, but for the past year and a half or so, I have been losing interest in swimming at a fast rate.
I kept pushing myself to finish the season last year, so I did and I was content with that but I wasn't over the moon or anything. When my mom asked me if I wanted to swim this season back in September, I wasn't all that sure, but I finally ended up saying yes to it because I figured that since it was a big part of my life for so long I become happier as the seasons and practices unfolded.
I was wrong.
Practices went on and I couldn't help but feel miserable. I love swimming, I always will, but I didn't feel good doing it, I no longer enjoyed it and I would be counting down the minutes until practice was over.
That was my sign.
I wasn't happy doing it, I had to change something.
Having six practices a week, training nine or so hours per week, I personally thought that that was too much time and dedication put into something that I was always dreading.
I was terrified to officially quit the team. Like I said, it was such a big part of my life and I wasn't sure what I would do with all that now free time on my hands. While I was writing the email to my coach explaining that I will no longer attend practices, I kept asking myself if it was the right thing to do. Deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do, I was just afraid to let go of that part of my life.
After having an internal war with myself, I sent the email and I felt...relieved.
Today, I woke up feeling great. I wasn't worrying over future swim meets and practices, but of what to I value more important in my life.
Writing and reading have always been things that I love to do, but with all the swimming hours, homework and other events in my life, I didn't always have the chance to do them.
Now, I can. I'm not feeling as if I won't have time to do everything I want to do in my day.
Letting go of something that lasted years in your life can be scary, terrifying even, but if it's something you feel forced to do and you don't love them any longer, it's worth it.
Well, it is to me.
I have my happy moments, don't get me wrong, but I can't say that I'm overwhelmed with this feeling of happiness.
It might take a while, but this is the first step in my journey to find happiness, and I hope that it can inspire one of you guys to go out and find yours.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 4 February 2015
World Cancer Day
Did you know that every year, approximately 14 million people are told that they have cancer, and that 8 million people die from the disease?
Chances are, we all know at least one figure in our lives that have fallen victim of cancer; whether its a parent, grandparent, cousin, aunt, uncle, best friend, a coworker or even a pet.
Although with technology to help us understand more about cancer everyday, we sometimes still have misconceptions about the illness. Even if you might have a parent or a sibling fighting against cancer, did you know that there's only a 5% to 10% chance that it's genetic?
Experts estimate that more than four out of ten cancer cases could be preventable by some the following examples:
A day where we remember those who lost the battle against cancer, and encourage those who are still fighting, and celebrate with the survivors.
At a young age, I lost both my grandfather and dog to cancer, and honestly, there's not a day that goes by where I don't miss them and that I hope I hear that a cure has been found for all cancers. They live on each day in my memory.
If someone you know and love is affected by cancer, whether they themselves are the victim or they have another friend or a family member thats battling it, there's always something you can do to help. You don't have to find the cure for cancer for them, you just have to be there for them.
Watch a movie, play a card game, go for a walk, read a book, take them out somewhere for the day, depending on who the person is that is affected by cancer, there's always a way to distract them. Even if it's for five minutes or an hour, you can make a difference.
Today is the day that everyone around the world come together and take a stand to a disease that has affect most, if not all, of us.
Let's come together to find a cure and kick cancer in the ass.
One More Girl, no longer online
Chances are, we all know at least one figure in our lives that have fallen victim of cancer; whether its a parent, grandparent, cousin, aunt, uncle, best friend, a coworker or even a pet.
Although with technology to help us understand more about cancer everyday, we sometimes still have misconceptions about the illness. Even if you might have a parent or a sibling fighting against cancer, did you know that there's only a 5% to 10% chance that it's genetic?
Experts estimate that more than four out of ten cancer cases could be preventable by some the following examples:
- Not smoking
- Maintaining a healthy body weight
- Staying active
- Wearing sunscreen/Staying safe in the sun
- Cutting back on alcohol consumption
- Eating a health diet
Today, February 4th, is known as World Cancer Day.
A day where we remember those who lost the battle against cancer, and encourage those who are still fighting, and celebrate with the survivors.
At a young age, I lost both my grandfather and dog to cancer, and honestly, there's not a day that goes by where I don't miss them and that I hope I hear that a cure has been found for all cancers. They live on each day in my memory.
If someone you know and love is affected by cancer, whether they themselves are the victim or they have another friend or a family member thats battling it, there's always something you can do to help. You don't have to find the cure for cancer for them, you just have to be there for them.
Watch a movie, play a card game, go for a walk, read a book, take them out somewhere for the day, depending on who the person is that is affected by cancer, there's always a way to distract them. Even if it's for five minutes or an hour, you can make a difference.
Today is the day that everyone around the world come together and take a stand to a disease that has affect most, if not all, of us.
Let's come together to find a cure and kick cancer in the ass.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 1 February 2015
I'm Proud To Be A Girl
This is a topic that I was never all that sure if I wanted to wright about.
Although feminism is a big movement in this day and age, it's still a touchy subject for some and everyone seems to have a different definition of feminism.
When I googled the definition of feminism, the result I got was "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." This isn't fighting for equality in general, this is a movement for WOMEN equality. This is not quite the same thing as having equality for everyone no matter what race, age, gender, religion, sexuality and whatever else you could think of, but this is a movement between two opposing sexes, man and woman.
We hear all about this when we get older, when we get to high school, it seems like a casual thing. I don't have much to say on the direct topic of feminism, but I do want to share some downgrading experiences I've has. I never realized how much it has affected my life from so early on.
We've all probably heard words like this, but I remember being back in elementary school, during recess, I'd often hear the words "You _____ like a girl!" Whether that would be kick or throw, those words were deemed as an insult.
Since when has my gender been an insult?
Back at that age, I didn't know that I could say something about it. If I threw a ball farther then some boy, I would be proud, but that didn't mean that they would stop using those words as an insult to some other boy, because "You're a girl...you're going to throw like one anyway" was always said to the girls.
Whenever a boy would pick up a pink or purple colored pencil or crayon, it would mean that they're girly.
What is wrong with those colors? Sure, when a child is born, a boy will receive a blue blanket, and a girl a pink one, but that doesn't mean that boys are forbidding to use the color pink.
Earlier this evening, I was having supper with my sister and parents when I asked if they were going to be in the basement after supper because I wanted to play Halo. My sister said "You shouldn't even be playing Halo, you're a girl."
Since when has my gender determined what video games I should and shouldn't play?
For years, we have been treated of as a lesser value without even knowing it.
Younger boys would use our gender as an insult, it will make us seem weird if we play any type of video game, and so much more.
Why can't all humans be seen as equals in everyone's eyes?
Boys can do gymnastics, girls can play football.
Boys can do dance, girls can play video games.
Boys can figure skate, girls can wrestle.
Boys can like chick flicks, girls can like gruesome/action movies.
Boys can bake and cook, girls can watch sports on TV.
It's time to break the stereotypes.
I am a girl, and I'm proud to throw like a girl, I'm proud of playing video games, I'm proud of my thoughts and intelligence, I'm proud to watch sports on TV.
Nothing you will say will make me change my mind on being proud of my gender, and being proud of who I am.
To end this post, I want to leave you guys with Always #LikeAGirl video. This is an advert/commercial on TV, but the message behind it is so powerful and is what inspired me to write this.
One More Girl, no longer online
Although feminism is a big movement in this day and age, it's still a touchy subject for some and everyone seems to have a different definition of feminism.
When I googled the definition of feminism, the result I got was "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." This isn't fighting for equality in general, this is a movement for WOMEN equality. This is not quite the same thing as having equality for everyone no matter what race, age, gender, religion, sexuality and whatever else you could think of, but this is a movement between two opposing sexes, man and woman.
We hear all about this when we get older, when we get to high school, it seems like a casual thing. I don't have much to say on the direct topic of feminism, but I do want to share some downgrading experiences I've has. I never realized how much it has affected my life from so early on.
We've all probably heard words like this, but I remember being back in elementary school, during recess, I'd often hear the words "You _____ like a girl!" Whether that would be kick or throw, those words were deemed as an insult.
Since when has my gender been an insult?
Back at that age, I didn't know that I could say something about it. If I threw a ball farther then some boy, I would be proud, but that didn't mean that they would stop using those words as an insult to some other boy, because "You're a girl...you're going to throw like one anyway" was always said to the girls.
Whenever a boy would pick up a pink or purple colored pencil or crayon, it would mean that they're girly.
What is wrong with those colors? Sure, when a child is born, a boy will receive a blue blanket, and a girl a pink one, but that doesn't mean that boys are forbidding to use the color pink.
Earlier this evening, I was having supper with my sister and parents when I asked if they were going to be in the basement after supper because I wanted to play Halo. My sister said "You shouldn't even be playing Halo, you're a girl."
Since when has my gender determined what video games I should and shouldn't play?
For years, we have been treated of as a lesser value without even knowing it.
Younger boys would use our gender as an insult, it will make us seem weird if we play any type of video game, and so much more.
Why can't all humans be seen as equals in everyone's eyes?
Boys can do gymnastics, girls can play football.
Boys can do dance, girls can play video games.
Boys can figure skate, girls can wrestle.
Boys can like chick flicks, girls can like gruesome/action movies.
Boys can bake and cook, girls can watch sports on TV.
It's time to break the stereotypes.
I am a girl, and I'm proud to throw like a girl, I'm proud of playing video games, I'm proud of my thoughts and intelligence, I'm proud to watch sports on TV.
Nothing you will say will make me change my mind on being proud of my gender, and being proud of who I am.
To end this post, I want to leave you guys with Always #LikeAGirl video. This is an advert/commercial on TV, but the message behind it is so powerful and is what inspired me to write this.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 28 January 2015
Endless Opportunities
In our last year of school, we're constantly pressured to choose ONE profession for the rest of our lives, encouraged to send in many college/university applications, and most of all, we're told to make something of ourselves.
We don't have to do that.
I am so sick of people telling me what they think is best for me, and I should do with my life. If I don't want to become a doctor, I won't become one. If I want to listen to a specific type of music that makes me happy, I'll do just that. If I don't want to go out during the weekend with friends, how does that affect your life in the long run?
For me, most often of times, it's my teachers and/or parents telling me what I should do, or what my strengths are. Having someone thinking they know what I want to (should) do and myself thinking of what I actually want to do are two very different things.
Wouldn't you think that I would know what I want to do with MY life and what my strengths are?
We have to make one choice out of a possible 600 or more possibilities of a career choice, and be happy with it for the rest of our lives. How can I start to make a choice like that when I don't even know who I am? They're millions of different choices of what we can do with our lives, and I'm terrified of making the wrong choice. Who wouldn't be?
Freedom is a wonderful thing, because we get to decide what we want to do. We've have complete control over our lives. We're independent minds that can do whatever we can dream of doing
That's my freedom is my biggest fear.
When you come to realize that you have complete control over your life and that you're responsible for your own happiness, it's terrifying because it means that we have to make choices in our life. We have to make choices that could be minor, you completely change our lives forever. We have the freedom to decide what we are doing with our one, terribly short, life.
What if you make the wrong choice?
You don't want to spend the majority of your life doing something you're not even all that passionate about.
If you feel remotely the same, remember that there ARE endless opportunities out there in the world.
I'm not going to say to quit your job, but take a vacation when it becomes too much, go back to school to change to a career that you are passionate about, play video games, listen to music, watch videos online, go for a night out with friends, have a night in with an important someone. Do whatever it takes to make you happy. Do whatever it takes to make you happy now and do what will make you happy in the future.
With great freedom comes great responsibility. You're responsible for your happiness, so make it count. If you're not happy with something at the moment, there's always an opportunity, a good one, for you in the future. No one deserves to look back on life and to have regrets about not doing something they knew deep down that they always wanted to do but never thought they could achieve. Give it a shot! You have nothing to lose.
Be sensible about your choices, but make it the best life you can with the goal of being happy. Of course you can't be happy 100% of the time, but you do have rights to feel good about your life and to not have to think that you messed up for a big part of it.
I'm not sure about you guys, but I have one shot at this thing we call life, and I'm going to make it count right until the end.
One More Girl, no longer online
We don't have to do that.
I am so sick of people telling me what they think is best for me, and I should do with my life. If I don't want to become a doctor, I won't become one. If I want to listen to a specific type of music that makes me happy, I'll do just that. If I don't want to go out during the weekend with friends, how does that affect your life in the long run?
For me, most often of times, it's my teachers and/or parents telling me what I should do, or what my strengths are. Having someone thinking they know what I want to (should) do and myself thinking of what I actually want to do are two very different things.
Wouldn't you think that I would know what I want to do with MY life and what my strengths are?
We have to make one choice out of a possible 600 or more possibilities of a career choice, and be happy with it for the rest of our lives. How can I start to make a choice like that when I don't even know who I am? They're millions of different choices of what we can do with our lives, and I'm terrified of making the wrong choice. Who wouldn't be?
Freedom is a wonderful thing, because we get to decide what we want to do. We've have complete control over our lives. We're independent minds that can do whatever we can dream of doing
That's my freedom is my biggest fear.
When you come to realize that you have complete control over your life and that you're responsible for your own happiness, it's terrifying because it means that we have to make choices in our life. We have to make choices that could be minor, you completely change our lives forever. We have the freedom to decide what we are doing with our one, terribly short, life.
What if you make the wrong choice?
You don't want to spend the majority of your life doing something you're not even all that passionate about.
If you feel remotely the same, remember that there ARE endless opportunities out there in the world.
I'm not going to say to quit your job, but take a vacation when it becomes too much, go back to school to change to a career that you are passionate about, play video games, listen to music, watch videos online, go for a night out with friends, have a night in with an important someone. Do whatever it takes to make you happy. Do whatever it takes to make you happy now and do what will make you happy in the future.
With great freedom comes great responsibility. You're responsible for your happiness, so make it count. If you're not happy with something at the moment, there's always an opportunity, a good one, for you in the future. No one deserves to look back on life and to have regrets about not doing something they knew deep down that they always wanted to do but never thought they could achieve. Give it a shot! You have nothing to lose.
Be sensible about your choices, but make it the best life you can with the goal of being happy. Of course you can't be happy 100% of the time, but you do have rights to feel good about your life and to not have to think that you messed up for a big part of it.
I'm not sure about you guys, but I have one shot at this thing we call life, and I'm going to make it count right until the end.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 25 January 2015
So Many People, Yet So Alone
In my first blog post One More Blog On The Internet, I said that I deal with my emotions by covering them up and trying to make them end quickly, and that I tried to maintain a diary although it never worked, and I'm writing on my blog in hope to reach out to other people who feel the same way that I do, sometimes.
Today is more of a diary post type of entry.
I do have a few friends at school, but sometimes, I just hate being around them.
I've never been the "go-to friend", meaning that I was always considered as the less relevant friend. If something really cool or exciting happened to one of my friends, I was never/am never the first to know. Usually, I'm the last to be told or informed of something.
If I get to class and put my stuff down on a desk, I, quite often, have my stuff moved to the end of the row of desks or to a completely different row so that my other friends can talk. I'm usually left on the end, not really invited or necessarily wanted in a conversation. Plans that I'm never invited to join are constantly being made in front of me.
I remember back in December, my girl friends made plans to go dress shopping for a school dance, realized I was there and they said they'd text me about it. It got to the next day and I didn't receive anything, so when my best friend that is apart of another group of friends asked me to go to the mall, I didn't hesitant to say yes. I wasn't going to sit around all day for these girls to text me.
We walked right past the girls that originally said that they were going to text me and the only thing they did was give me a small smile, and they kept on walking. Not even a "Hi," or anything. It's not because they didn't want to spend time with the friend that I ended up going with, because at this rate, they talk to her more often then they talk to me.
Some friends, right?
Whenever I try to tell a story, I'm often talked over and then forgotten or just flat out told that no one cares. I make a small joke and they say it was stupid and carry out a different conversation, yet if someone makes the same joke a little later, everyone laughs.
These are the people that I call my friends, yet I wonder if I should associate myself with them at all.
With all of that said, I am a very eccedentesiast person. I fake smiles, I don't let people know that what they say to me or how they treat me hurts me. I always have this small smile on around them that keeps on getting less and less genuine.
There's undoubtedly this feeling of loneliness even though I'm surrounded by all these people.
If anyone can relate to what I said in the slightest, let's do this together.
Let's talk to more people. Let's talk to someone that we feel comfortable around and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and that make us genuinely happy to be around.
If you want to do this but are too scared to leave your "old friends", please remember that they do not own you and you don't own them anything. You can do whatever you'd like to do to make yourself happy.
It would be awesome if someone went out to find someone that makes them happy after reading this post because they got inspired and share a little bit of their story in the comments. That way, it's proof to someone else that it's not only one person feeling this way, and that we can all share stories and help one another. I know that I'll share mine when it happens.
I will say that this was something quite personal for me to write about, so I really do hope that there's something you can take away from this.
One More Girl, no longer online
Today is more of a diary post type of entry.
I do have a few friends at school, but sometimes, I just hate being around them.
I've never been the "go-to friend", meaning that I was always considered as the less relevant friend. If something really cool or exciting happened to one of my friends, I was never/am never the first to know. Usually, I'm the last to be told or informed of something.
If I get to class and put my stuff down on a desk, I, quite often, have my stuff moved to the end of the row of desks or to a completely different row so that my other friends can talk. I'm usually left on the end, not really invited or necessarily wanted in a conversation. Plans that I'm never invited to join are constantly being made in front of me.
I remember back in December, my girl friends made plans to go dress shopping for a school dance, realized I was there and they said they'd text me about it. It got to the next day and I didn't receive anything, so when my best friend that is apart of another group of friends asked me to go to the mall, I didn't hesitant to say yes. I wasn't going to sit around all day for these girls to text me.
We walked right past the girls that originally said that they were going to text me and the only thing they did was give me a small smile, and they kept on walking. Not even a "Hi," or anything. It's not because they didn't want to spend time with the friend that I ended up going with, because at this rate, they talk to her more often then they talk to me.
Some friends, right?
Whenever I try to tell a story, I'm often talked over and then forgotten or just flat out told that no one cares. I make a small joke and they say it was stupid and carry out a different conversation, yet if someone makes the same joke a little later, everyone laughs.
These are the people that I call my friends, yet I wonder if I should associate myself with them at all.
With all of that said, I am a very eccedentesiast person. I fake smiles, I don't let people know that what they say to me or how they treat me hurts me. I always have this small smile on around them that keeps on getting less and less genuine.
There's undoubtedly this feeling of loneliness even though I'm surrounded by all these people.
If anyone can relate to what I said in the slightest, let's do this together.
Let's talk to more people. Let's talk to someone that we feel comfortable around and someone who makes us feel good about ourselves and that make us genuinely happy to be around.
If you want to do this but are too scared to leave your "old friends", please remember that they do not own you and you don't own them anything. You can do whatever you'd like to do to make yourself happy.
It would be awesome if someone went out to find someone that makes them happy after reading this post because they got inspired and share a little bit of their story in the comments. That way, it's proof to someone else that it's not only one person feeling this way, and that we can all share stories and help one another. I know that I'll share mine when it happens.
I will say that this was something quite personal for me to write about, so I really do hope that there's something you can take away from this.
One More Girl, no longer online
Wednesday, 21 January 2015
Impressing People
As humans, we feel the need to impress people, to make them love us, to be hated by no one, and to leave a legacy of some sort on this earth for years after we're gone.
Why do we all crave this feeling? Why can no one be happy with who they truly are anymore?
We should not be worrying about impressing people, because honestly, the people that are worth impressing deserve to know the true you. As the old saying goes, its better to be loved for who you are then to be loved for someone you're not. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others to be more "impressive".
If you're trying to impress someone with the intentions of a good friendship or dating them, there's no need to feel like someone you're not to be able to get them to like you back. The right person will come along for the right role, someday.
These days, I feel as though at school, it's a competition for who has the most likes on, Instagram, who has the most followers on Twitter, the most friends on Facebook. Why does it seem like people are competing over stuff like this?
In the long run, it's almost as if they picture life as a race, as in who's the most "loved" by people over social media.
It's almost as if everyone is in a drawing competition, and everyone is desperate to finish first so that they can say "Look at me! I'm done! I did it!" The truth is, you don't get happiness from finishing first, you get it while drawing something your proud of.
We have to let go of the insane thought about proving to everyone else that we're better in some aspect, and then we could be free to accomplish the dreams we never go the chance to imagine because we were so busy trying to impress others for no reason.
If we break down all the situations that we weren't ourselves because we wanted to impress the people around us that were in our lives for only a certain amount of time, and not for the long run, I can honestly say that I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.
I'm going to change that about my life, and if some of you also decide to do the same, feel free to comment and say how you're going to do so, and we can do this together.
No more impressing people, it's finally time to be me. If people don't like it, to bad. I'll know that hey aren't meant to be a permanent figure in my life.
That's also kind of why I like posting on my blog. I find that because it's anonymous, you know that there's truth to what I'm saying, I'm not making up scenarios in my head because this is the only place I can be myself. I'm not worrying about writing to impress you guys, I'm just writing about something that happened in my life and could be relatable or helpful to someone else.
Let the world see you as who you are. Stand tall, be proud.
One More Girl, no longer online
Why do we all crave this feeling? Why can no one be happy with who they truly are anymore?
We should not be worrying about impressing people, because honestly, the people that are worth impressing deserve to know the true you. As the old saying goes, its better to be loved for who you are then to be loved for someone you're not. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others to be more "impressive".
If you're trying to impress someone with the intentions of a good friendship or dating them, there's no need to feel like someone you're not to be able to get them to like you back. The right person will come along for the right role, someday.
These days, I feel as though at school, it's a competition for who has the most likes on, Instagram, who has the most followers on Twitter, the most friends on Facebook. Why does it seem like people are competing over stuff like this?
In the long run, it's almost as if they picture life as a race, as in who's the most "loved" by people over social media.
It's almost as if everyone is in a drawing competition, and everyone is desperate to finish first so that they can say "Look at me! I'm done! I did it!" The truth is, you don't get happiness from finishing first, you get it while drawing something your proud of.
We have to let go of the insane thought about proving to everyone else that we're better in some aspect, and then we could be free to accomplish the dreams we never go the chance to imagine because we were so busy trying to impress others for no reason.
If we break down all the situations that we weren't ourselves because we wanted to impress the people around us that were in our lives for only a certain amount of time, and not for the long run, I can honestly say that I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.
I'm going to change that about my life, and if some of you also decide to do the same, feel free to comment and say how you're going to do so, and we can do this together.
No more impressing people, it's finally time to be me. If people don't like it, to bad. I'll know that hey aren't meant to be a permanent figure in my life.
That's also kind of why I like posting on my blog. I find that because it's anonymous, you know that there's truth to what I'm saying, I'm not making up scenarios in my head because this is the only place I can be myself. I'm not worrying about writing to impress you guys, I'm just writing about something that happened in my life and could be relatable or helpful to someone else.
Let the world see you as who you are. Stand tall, be proud.
One More Girl, no longer online
Sunday, 18 January 2015
The Old Man And The Bucket
There's a story I heard about a month ago, and it's one that I would love to share with you guys.
*
Long ago, there was this old man that lived far from the nearest village. He would have to walk two hours along a dirt road to get into town and fill his buckets up with water, and then walk two hours back to his house. He brought home the water in two buckets.
One bucket was old and leaked water. The bucket felt bad because every time the old man would arrive home with him, he would be almost empty.
One day, the bucket finally decided to speak up and talk to his owner. "Master," he started with. "Why do you keep me? I am not as useful to the other bucket when it comes to transporting water. By the time we get home, I'm almost empty. I am no longer of any use to you."
The Master looked at the bucket and replied with "Tomorrow when we go to fetch water from the well in the village, I want you to look around you and see what you can."
The bucket agreed, and then next day, they went into town and the same thing happened on the way home. He was almost empty by the time that the other bucket, his Master and himself arrived back at their home. Once again, he felt less then helpful to his Master.
His Master sat down next to him and asked him what he saw. The bucket said "Well I noticed that on my side of the path while walking back from the village, there were many flowers. There were flowers and grass, it looked green and full of life, while on the other side, there was only dirt.
"That's correct," the Master smiled. "Although you see no use in yourself for transporting water, you were more than useful when it came to helping the flowers grow. Because you leaked over the dirt, you helped the flowers and the grass grow from the dirt. Although you are almost empty every time we arrive home, you helped to create something beautiful without knowing it. The other bucket couldn't have done it, it was only you that made the path beautiful. Because of you, we no longer see a boring dirt path, we see something wonderful."
*
Although you feel like you're not doing anything good, or that you're wasting time doing something,you never truly know how much of an impact it can have on something or someone else. It's important to remember that although you may not be the best at something or feel like you're making an impact, you could be.
You could be helping to create something beautiful.
One More Girl, no longer online
*
Long ago, there was this old man that lived far from the nearest village. He would have to walk two hours along a dirt road to get into town and fill his buckets up with water, and then walk two hours back to his house. He brought home the water in two buckets.
One bucket was old and leaked water. The bucket felt bad because every time the old man would arrive home with him, he would be almost empty.
One day, the bucket finally decided to speak up and talk to his owner. "Master," he started with. "Why do you keep me? I am not as useful to the other bucket when it comes to transporting water. By the time we get home, I'm almost empty. I am no longer of any use to you."
The Master looked at the bucket and replied with "Tomorrow when we go to fetch water from the well in the village, I want you to look around you and see what you can."
The bucket agreed, and then next day, they went into town and the same thing happened on the way home. He was almost empty by the time that the other bucket, his Master and himself arrived back at their home. Once again, he felt less then helpful to his Master.
His Master sat down next to him and asked him what he saw. The bucket said "Well I noticed that on my side of the path while walking back from the village, there were many flowers. There were flowers and grass, it looked green and full of life, while on the other side, there was only dirt.
"That's correct," the Master smiled. "Although you see no use in yourself for transporting water, you were more than useful when it came to helping the flowers grow. Because you leaked over the dirt, you helped the flowers and the grass grow from the dirt. Although you are almost empty every time we arrive home, you helped to create something beautiful without knowing it. The other bucket couldn't have done it, it was only you that made the path beautiful. Because of you, we no longer see a boring dirt path, we see something wonderful."
*
Although you feel like you're not doing anything good, or that you're wasting time doing something,you never truly know how much of an impact it can have on something or someone else. It's important to remember that although you may not be the best at something or feel like you're making an impact, you could be.
You could be helping to create something beautiful.
One More Girl, no longer online
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